I'm bored. LETS SNOWBOARD!!

Snowboarding.

Sliding down an icy slope tied to a piece of wood. My kind of fun, though perhaps not Jems.

We were yet again going to be doing something I really wanted to do, and as luck would have it, it was also something Jem almost definitely DIDN'T want to do. Still, after a few swift punches to the ovaries she circummed to my mounting pressure and came along. The compromise being that we went for 2 days instead of 3.

Cardrona was where we'd chosen to do it, as they have good learner packages and the softest snow!

It was pretty comical getting all our stuff together, the big huge boots, the wrist guards, the board and the clothes. We had hired jackets and pants but wished we'd done it in town instead of at the mountain as we were decked out in some threads that wouldn't have been out of place on John Nike's leisure ski slope in Bracknell (or Plymouth for that matter).

Once we had all our bits together it was time to go and find our instructors. I should add that from just about the moment we arrived Jem had a scowel on and was constently saying "I'm not enjoying this" and "you owe me!". I chose to ignore these comments as I normally do, she'll have a great time I thought, whats not to enjoy! And still, we had wrist guards on so what could possibly go wrong!

So there we were, our first lesson. The board bound to our feet for the first time and we had to scoot round like demented robots whilst trying to decide whether we were "Regular" or "Goofy". We assumed tha because we're regular surfers we'd be regular snowboarders.

Jem was still glaring in my general direction. Immune to my replies of "i'll buy you dinner". mmm, food related bribary not working - this must be bad.

Still, we now had both feet in and headed up the magic carpet (like a travelator in the airport only more radical). Now was time for our first slide down the hill.

Regular sliding turned to goofy, then to regular again, and we finally settled on Goofy as it felt a bit more normal. At least then we were still steering with our right feet, they were just at the wrong end of the board.

here's how it went...

Slide, ouch. Slide, ouch. Slide, edge, ouch. Slide, edge, wobble, BALANCE!! whey I got it!

Jem was next and her's was a similar story.

I swear I saw a hint of a smile creep accross that face of hers - only to be removed when she noticed me looking over in her direction. (Oh yeah, i'm supposed to be hating this).

We had another couple of runs and were getting the hang of the floating leaf technique. It's odd steering with your front foot, but not too hard to get used to.

Our instructor was amazed when I managed to ride and turn frontside AND backside in the same run. I must be a natural, except I handn't notice that I'd done it.

A few more runs and there was a definite grin on Jem's face when she started to get the hang of it and fall over less and less.

Lunch time was beckoning and the "one last run" curse was about to rear it's ugly ugly head.

I managed mine and was waiting at the bottom for Jem, looking up just in time to see a kid ski infront of her and make her take drastic action. The only sure fire way of stopping is to just fall over, and normally it was fine, except this time she managed to twist slightly on her side and I saw her neck crack forward. Ouch.

Still she managed to get up and shook it off so we headed off for lunch.

Our afternoon lesson dealt with turning in C-Turns. We both had real trouble with them, it's really hard to resist the temptation to lean back when you start speeding downhill, but that only makes you go faster!

Jem by this point was getting pretty tired, and her head ahd started hurting from the fall earlier. Even though she didn't hit her head which was odd. He neck was also getting a bit sore and we were both knackered by the time the lesson ended.

Our legs, necks, bums and backs all sore from our days snowboarding we hit the road for the journey home. Unfortunately for us the sun was going down and it was getting pretty cold again.

Down the looong mountain road we went, I hate automatics going down steep hills. 2nd is too fast and low revs the engine too much making it smell. I stuck with second and the brakes. This may have been the wrong choice though.

We were only about 4 corners from the top though when we hit a patch of ice. The weight of Dora, and her height didn't help us as once the back started to go it was a case of now we all go. I had to steer full lock one way, then full back the other in time for the back end to pass the front for the second time, by this point we were rapidly heading for the road edge and were 6 inches of snow away from a 50ft drop, 10ft of flat, then another 50ft drop. F*&k!

I don't know who to thank, but at that time I chose god and Jesus. Something had stopped us going over the edge and I don't think it was my driving skills! By the time we knew what was going on we'd spun again and were now facing back up the road we'd come down and had hit the snowdrift on the mountainside of the road. PHEW-WEY.

I have never EVER been so scared in my life. Adrenaline sports all have a little tiny element in the back of your mind saying, "it's ok, you really wont die doing this". Speeding towards a large cliff edge however lacks this little voice, it has another one, talking ever so quickly. "thats it, game over." At the same time I had an ounce of gratitude that at least I was with Jem, and of all the people I could die with, she's right up there on the list.

We settled into the snowdrift on the good side of the road, and as luck would have it a tow truck was following us down the road. "Bloody luck you went that way" was the drivers response. I couldn't reply.

He set about towing us out, but had to keep jumping out of the way as another two cars of people skidded on the same patch of ice and thankfully just went straight on into the bank in front of us, not anywhere near crashing into us.

After being towed out we headed back up the mountain road to put our snowchains on. No-one else had them on, and they probably wouldn't do much anyway but they were a little bit of extra security.

As chance would have it, we pulled into the car park ready to put the chains on, just as a car load of snowpark workers pulled in. They'd heard what happend and came down to see if we were ok and needed a hand. They offered to put the chains on for us and we gratefuly accepted, then who should get out of the van..

Ed from my course at uni! It was among the strangest places and circumstances I would ever expect to meet someone from uni, let alone the same course!

After this chance meeting, and or chains now fitted we headed down the mountain in Low ratio, ignoring the smell.

The 15 minute journey took over an hour, all I could think of on the way down was how skiddy the road felt, even though it probably wasn't. On arriving down back at Wanaka we checked into our hostel and just hugged. So relieved not be dead!

Jem decided that just the one day was plenty, as her neck was getting really sore now. The doctors was a far more sensible place to spend the next day, rather than the slopes of Cardrona.

So I had her second days lesson ticket, meaning I had 4 hours more lessons in which to perfect my skills. This meant that I got up on the big boys slopes and got a bit better. Not great still but better than if i'd never tried it.

I also got the snow shuttle the next day as I didn't fancy driving and dying again.

Jem however spent the day going between the doctors and the physio. She had proper whiplash and wasn't moving her neck really well, so had a couple of hours of (free) physio on her porly neck. Ouch.

So Jem was immobilised, I was battered and tired. So we had another day in Wanaka to recover slightly, Jem had more physio and we had a nice relaxing sit down.

Wanaka is a nice place, it's like a quieter queenstown, but there's still plenty to do, a gorgeous lake and some more friendly kiwis.

one thing though, don't stay at the YHA, apparently it's rubbish. We stayed at the Altamont Lodge and it was really nice.

So thats that.

We nearly died and Jem got a sore neck. I hope you've enjoyed hearing about it!

Lots of love

Si and Jem

XX

(Oh yeah, Stay Classy)