Acceptance of alternative lifestyles in Southeast Asia, like anywhere, runs the gamut. One thing to remember is that many of the societies and cultures of the region are, by tradition, very modest, and public displays of affection of any kind are not acceptable. Gay nightlife choices are many and varied in larger cities like Bangkok, Singapore, and Hong Kong, but in rural areas, provincial attitudes vary and intolerance is not uncommon.

The International Gay and Lesbian Travel Association (IGLTA) (tel. 800/448-8550 or 954/776-2626; www.iglta.org) is the trade association for the gay and lesbian travel industry, and offers an online directory of gay- and lesbian-friendly travel businesses; go to its website and click on "Members."

Many agencies offer tours and travel itineraries specifically for gay and lesbian travelers. Above and Beyond Tours (tel. 800/397-2681; www.abovebeyondtours.com) is the exclusive gay and lesbian tour operator for United Airlines. Now, Voyager (tel. 800/255-6951; www.nowvoyager.com) is a well-known San Francisco-based gay-owned and -operated travel service. Olivia Cruises & Resorts (tel. 800/631-6277; www.olivia.com) charters entire resorts and ships for exclusive lesbian vacations and offers smaller group experiences for both gay and lesbian travelers.

The following travel guides are available at most travel bookstores and gay and lesbian bookstores, or you can order them from Giovanni's Room bookstore, 1145 Pine St., Philadelphia, PA 19107 (tel. 215/923-2960; www.giovannisroom.com): Out and About (tel. 800/929-2268; www.outandabout.com), which offers guidebooks and a newsletter ($20 per yr.; 10 issues) packed with solid information on the global gay and lesbian scene; Spartacus International Gay Guide (Bruno Gmunder Verlag; www.spartacusworld.com/gayguide) and Odysseus: The International Gay Travel Planner (Odysseus Enterprises Ltd.), both good, annual English-language guidebooks focused on gay men; the Damron guides (www.damron.com), with separate, annual books for gay men and lesbians; and Gay Travel A to Z: The World of Gay & Lesbian Travel Options at Your Fingertips by Marianne Ferrari (Ferrari International; Box 35575, Phoenix, AZ 85069), a very good gay and lesbian guidebook series.