To Russia with Love

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ONTO THE LAND OF IVAN DRAGO. so, after being in the tourist friendly czech republic, landing in russia was a shock to say the least. russia is everything you think it would be and more. angelo and i have NEVER done travel this tough or off the proverbial beaten path which is hard to believe in a city of 5 million people.

for starters. no one speaks any engliish. AND I MEAN NO ONE. (except for maybe possibly the 3 concierges in the fanciest hotels here). which is no big deal except that not only do they not speak english but they also do not speak french, italian, spanish, german or dutch (and you know the situation is desperate if i am asking them to speak dutch because the only thing i know in that language is how to order a cheese sandwich and say goodbye). there is no writing in the alphabet as we know it. only the cyrillic alphabet which is probably why all the guide books we read said that before visiting it would be best to learn russian. WHAT? that seemed a little excessive at the time but now we know why.

the tours bus signs are not in english. nor are the brochures in churches, monuments and or internet cafes. no matter what you ask for (water, food, post box, toilet) and no matter how much miming you do it will inevitable result in two words." big problem." and that is the only information you will get about whatever it is you want to do, see, buy or eat. it is an incredibly humbling experience. clearly 98% of the tourists here are russian themselves. everyone else who comes here clearly comes with their own guided tour and stays in hotels. we got an apartment and came on our own. oops. big problem.

the aparment is in a totally decrepit building and the place reeks of cat piss. arghhhh... we did get a kick out of the lady pointing at the cable and calling it sputnik though. it's all part of the adventure. right?

as far as stereotypes go, it's true- the women are more beautiful than maybe any other in the world. i am in the market for some of those horse blinders so i can attach them to my husband's head everytime we leave the apartment. so far, no luck. only thousands of matroyshka dolls everywhere i look. the men on the other hand are pretty rough looking characters and don't know lucky they have it with the ladies! if any of you is considering buying a russian bride (big business here)- we say, go for it.

st. petersburg itself is huge and busy and actually pretty run down.the traffic and the pollution are starteling and the buildings are in terrible need of rennovation- there is crumbling cement and graffitti everywhere. that said, there are a few gems that are beyond belief. the church of the savior of the spilled blood (famous onion domes) is the most spectacular church i have ever seen. it is covered wall to wall with mosaics of the most beautiful and colorful art work you can imagine. so much so that when i walked in i immediately started to cry. it was truly overwhelming. the hermitage museum is also impressive and rivals the louvre with its massive collections started by catherine the great.

right now there is a festival going on called White Nights (no it's not just a bad 80's movie starring baryshnikov and grgory hines). it's a yearly 3 week celebration of the fact that the sun doesn't set right now and there are 100 concerts going on in venues all over the city. mostly opera, ballet, classical music celebrating shostakovitch, tschaikowsky, prokokiev, rachmoninov and all the other great russian composers. last night though angelo and i got caught up in a river of people walking towards some unknown venue and we joined in with the 200,000 rowdy people and went and saw some open air concert starring a russian pop singer who looked suspiciously like a very gay iggy pop. the show was followed by a grand fireworks display and a night of partying 'till dawn. i can't even imagine how long, dark and cold the winter's are here.

the history here is rich and fascinating and you can really feel the remnants of communism seeping out of every pore in this city. for instance, angelo and i went to the minimarket (yaka) to buy some bread and cheese for our apartment. i pointed at the cheese in the case (about the size of an american cheese pack at home) and nodded my head. she took it out of the case and motioned with the knife that she was going to cut it in a third- " no" i motioned- "the whole thing". she shook her head no. "half?" i indicated with her knife. no. we were given a third. no more. iti didn't matter that we could pay.

in this city you must have your papers with you at all times. (russians too.) there are russian military trucks everywhere and the soldiers stop people and harrass them about their papers on the corners. if you are stopped there is a good chance you will have to pay a bribe or a fine. tourists are told to avoid the police at all costs. you also must register as soon as you arrive in each city. the russian govt. wants to know every hotel, train, plane or bus you take. there are NO day trips permitted to villages or cities outside of St. Petersburg or Moscow. sadly, we also read in our guide book that U.S./ Russian relations are at a 20 year low and diplomats are now reffering to it as the "chilly war."

In the parks there is no sitting on the grass. no riding bikes. no walking dogs. no nothing. otherwise big problem. angelo says they should just have big signs up in the park telling everyone to go home.

we asked a hotel concierge about going to the outdoor flea market and were told not to- dangerous people there. we went anyway and the concierge was right. we stayed about 3 minutes (granted it was starting to close up anyway). but there were the roughest looking characters there of any place i have ever been. we got out straight away and angelo nick named the place kidnappers market. yikes.

so even though the city and the people are a bit rough around the edges, the dumplings, the blinis, the stroganoff, the vodka, the beer and the mushroom soup are amazing. The culture and their very recent history are mind boggling and being so absolutely outside our comfort zone is a completely rare thrill. we are having a blast and onto moscow next for a few days to meet up with an old friend.