Tigers, Vespas and lady-boys -- all in a day's work on Koh Samui

Yeah, also we went to a Tiger zoo...it was a zoo. They made Macaws ride bikes!

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From Koh Phangan we took a high speed, brand new, sparkly catamaran to the more tourist-infested Koh Samui.  Deserted beaches were nice, but so are people.  We got off the boat, which was pretty pleasant, and all the passengers were sorted according to our stickers.  Of course, our sticker was confusing, since we had decided to go to the most out-of-the way spot on the island.  Our driver (not on commission or anything), tried to drop us at three separate guest houses, claiming that the one we had chosen was too expensive and crappy.  We held on, and arrived to rent an entire house for about $12 a night.  Definitely not expensive or crappy!  The house also came complete with an adorable dog who adopted us and even Susan came to love.

We spent the first days wandering about, finding the beaches "corally and sharp".  Michelle woke up on the second day craving some horseback riding, and against Susan's better judgement decided to rent a Vespa-style Yamaha Mio to scope the island for a stable.  Michelle had never actually ridden a motorized bike before, so she asked the sales people to show her how it worked, instilling so much confidence in them that they immediately grabbed a helmet and asked if she had travel insurance.  Satisfied, they cringed as she lurched out of the parking lot, figuring out how the "automatic" shifter worked, and that the front brake was on the LEFT side. 

RACING VESPA...starring Susan, before the confidence dip.

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After about 15 minutes, finding no stable but having become reasonably Vespa confident, Michelle abandoned the idea of horseback riding and hit the "open road".  Two hours later she returned to the bike shop, and the entire family jumped up, "are you hurt?" Michelle, unhurt, produced Susan, also wanting to rent a Vespa after hearing the tale.

The rest of the day was spent learning the ropes of Thai driving and Vespa operation, and was incredibly satisfying, with not a single accident or close call to speak of.  Driving on the left hand side of the road was interesting, but pretty easy to figure out.  

Day three started out innocently, we planned another productive day of scootering around the island, burning minimal gas on our 150cc powerhouses.  Michelle decided that the main highway was boring, and figured that the interior island roads outlined on the weak map we'd procured would be a lot more fun.  Remember that these are 150cc Vespas...pinned they top out at around 70kph and it is impossible to drive them without looking like someone's grandmother. 

Michelle's "sexy" Vespa look...so easy to pull off in a crooked helmet

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Yeah, so dotted lines on free tourist maps aren't really ROADS, so much as monsoon drainage...slides.  After three hours of tipping scooters, dragging them up mountain inclines and skidding down nearly vertical creekbeds, we were happy to be approached by a friendly expat who shook his head at our craziness and offered to lead us the easy way down.  HE was riding a monster dirtbike and jumping over rollers that we had to coax our little bikes over, so we trusted him.  The fact that Michelle was bleeding (not BADLY Dad) and Susan had lost confidence to go faster than 5kph really helped us make the decision to follow him. 

The way down was pretty uneventful, but it did give us time to assess the damage we'd done to our scooters...Susan's coughed blue smoke, and the right side of Michelle's was a little scuffed, as well as dented in the muffler region.  We figured that the cost of repairs was worth the adventure though, so we happily putted (Susan's confidence returning to almost 10kph) all the way back to our house to recuperate (and disinfect, of course). 

The morning rose bright and sunny, and we prepared to leave Koh Samui after seeing pretty much the whole place from the backs of our little Vespas, honking contritely at anyone who passed us too fast.  The last thing we had to do was return the slightly damaged scooters.  The bike people scanned every inch, clucking unhappily, questioning us on whether we'd "crashed" or "tipped" (these were mimed amusingly).   We assured them that there was no crashing, and managed to indicate that there had only been one significant tip (that was maybe a bit of an exaggeration).  The head bike-shop-woman apologised profusely that she'd have to charge us for the damage.  We in turn apologised even more profusely for damaging the bikes in the first place!  She tallied up the cost of the repairs...we anxiously awaited the damage.  It came to an even $10.  Unbelievable.