Ko Lanta: high and low

The great thing about Lanta is that the ferry (like the tide) washes in and washes out all manner of humans: pearls as well as debris. And this happens daily as well as seasonally. Similar happens with bars, bungalows and restaurants, too.

Everyone who visits the island has their own version of what their favourite beach/food/bar/resort is and equally so where they probably wouldn't go again unless there was a change in management. To avoid doing a Lonely Planet job on the places to stay/eat/drink/shop /visit (and therefore inundate those places with even more blandness) I'll try to deliver a kind of top 5 already well-known and bottom 5 already well-known places to eat/stay/get stuff/drink and seek your various forms of fate. By already well-known I mean these places are already in the guide books or advertise themselves with all manner of signs on the island. You will find your own places, of course, and they will either suit or repel you. Personal choice, and I'm sure you'd like them to remain charming as they are when you first went and decided "this is great".

These here deserve all they get as they have made it to the tops of their respective trees by paying somebody for a mention or by spreading their signs like a virus across the island.

Places to stay (catering for individuals, couples and families)

Layana: upmarket five star resort on Phrae Ae. Great service and ambience, although you pay for it.

Relax Bay: cheapish-mid range resort. Really sound location, but at high tide you have about a metre of beach. Nicely set up all round.

Lanta Marine Park: similar to Relax Bay but way down south in Kan Tiang bay and with more beach.

Golden Bay Cottages: Klong Dao. Cheapish mid range place that caters for just about everyone.

FMC (Fisherman's Cottage): Klong Khong. Bizarre building, but good family bungalows. Lots of Thais stay here, so it must have something going for it.

Places NOT to stay (lots of local knowledge and first hand tales of woe)

Pimalai: way over-priced in every aspect. Service is not as good as Layana. Stunning views and interesting architecture though. Car park is a joke. Kan Tiang.

Sri Lanta: quite expensive for some very tatty amenities. Bled dry by its owners. A pity, because it has great potential. Klong Nin.

Where Else: See previous blog "Why Come to Lanta?".

Casurina: read as for Sri Lanta, except not a lot of potential as its location lets it down. Phrae Ae.

Rawi Warin: Lanta's very own "White Elephant". Haphazard service at a huge cost (but not as huge as Pimilai). Great to arrive at, then it all goes down hill....Klong Nin.

Places to eat

Saladan Seafood: Saladan. The first "Saladan Seafood" (yes, there is more than one) place on your right after the police hut at the T junction (if you keep going at the T junction you will start swimming). Great food. Always popular (so if you go to the wrong one, you'll know). Mid-range in terms of cost.

Parkway Restaurant: Saladan. Opposite the "Lanta Center". You can get your laundry done here, too. Cheapish prices for good food and the right quantity, too.

Red Snapper: Phrae Ae. The very best upmarket Thai and foreign food on the island. Pricey, but delicious. Good deli/cheese board. Dutch owned.

Khao Yai: on the road between Klong Nin and Old Town at the top of the hill. Lots of local Thais eat here. The food is possibly the best on Lanta, but it's not that cheap. Superb views across the bay towards Trang.

Koo-Kai: Klong Nin. The food is a greasier version of Khao Yai, but also a bit cheaper. Very nice owner/manager.

Places not to eat

Pimalai: Belgian chef, outdated nouveau-cuisine (miniscule) portions with just a nod to Thai flavouring makes eating here a huge disappointment. It just lacks anything special. It's neither Thai nor European: it's bland and by the time it gets to you it's not exactly hot either (but that might be something to do with the quantity and physics). Kan Tiang.

Retro: "As advertised in Lonely Planet". Hmmm. "Where local residents eat". Well, yes. All the Swedes who have holiday villas next door. Quite expensive for small portions and very ordinary food. Phrae Ae (roadside).

Lanta Riviera: Possibly the worst all round place to eat on the island. Overpriced, tiny quantity, poor service and everything tastes of chemicals. Klong Kong.

Moonlight Bay: Great situation spoilt by its cafeteria-like decor and food that tastes like it came straight out of a Maggi packet. Klong Kong/Nin.

Noble House: You can get tasteless Thai food, but oddly, quite spicey toast here. Something wrong with that scheme I think. Look out for the permanently broken toilet and a lack of places to wash your hands. Klong Dao. Swiss owned.

Others: I haven't included any of the many and burgeoning farang cafes and restaurants (Swedish, Brit, etc). If you want foreign food then perhaps go to Europe for a break. Those who want to eat Thai food will get pretty authentic stuff on the roadside stalls. When you go to a restaurant, however, locals will assume if you order Thai that you want it "nid-noy spicey" (little bit). This is pretty much due to the immense numbers (and oh so delicate immense bellies) of farang who are used to bread, cheese and sausages and, naturally, Thais are always trying to please. If you want it Thai, then ask for "Thai pet" (Thai spicey).

Places to Get Stuff

Lanta Mart: Saladan. The biggest supermarket on the island. All manner of goods here (except fresh fruit and vegetables) from alcohol to tampons, cheese to dog chews. Entertaining at feeding time. You'll know why when you see it.

The Tent (no name, but it's in a tent!): Saladan. Not quite as cheap as Lanta Mart for some things, but for others it's the place to go. Absolutely everything under one big sheet of plastic: shovels to hair spray, nappies to mouse traps. Good for flip-flops. Opposite Lanta Mart, but behind all the arty kiosks.

Post Office: Saladan. On the road to the passenger ferry on the right.

Dive Gear: Lanta Diver. Saladan.

ATMs: Everywhere. Start with the two next door to Lanta Mart, then almost opposite and they are spread all over the island.

Places like the Plague

Seven Eleven: Spreading like the proverbial further south almost monthly. Useful they may be, but they are destroying (like every other American Corporation) the little family-run (Thai) supermarkets which are located everywhere. Good for a spongey weener breakfast or late night bite after a tough night on the piss at the Tavern. Oh, perhaps that's why they're so popular....

Petrol: Always ask how much a liter. Usually petrol vendors are great, but some do pull the scam of keeping the dispenser running between customers. The large petrol station on the left as you go into Saladan usually pulls this: no matter how much they seem to pump into your bike, it is mysteriously 70 baht. I have always wondered why the attendants were so smiley all the time!

Tuk-Tuk/Taxis: There is a fare sign just outside Lanta Mart that says quite clearly (well, not that clearly as the sign is a bit faded) how much the Tuk-Tuk fares are between Saladan and the other villages on the island. Ensure you know how much you pay before accepting a proposition. Covered taxis are negotiable.

Motorbike Rental: Look around and don't just go with the nearest. Usually Saladan has a better rental rate. You may be asked for your passport as a guarantee. There is only one car rental company so far, but little businesses are springing up all the time and insurance is a must as there are many vehicles without insurance that drive haphazardly around the island. Helmets on the bikes are also useful; recently the police have been checking that motorbikers wear them and there is a sliding scale of fines if you get done (farang and local rates).

Bartering: As a farang you are more likely to have at your disposal an awful lot more disposable income than most roadside vendors, so when you are bartering, don't be rude or unreasonable. Like in the rest of Thailand: play the game with a smile. Finally, tipping. Thais are friendly and proud people. Please don't insult them by tipping. IF you want to tip, then ensure it is for something really well done like a waiter making sure you get the best seat in the house, or a cleaner who really has suffered your mess for a couple of weeks. Lanta isn't Mexico, yet.