Grappa with Mr. Race

Geneva by night

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Robert is Jason's uncle.  The man, as I had been introduced to him, could possibly be my hero.  At 40, he decided to uproot his fashionable Manhattan apartment (already quite a lifestyle) and head to Europe.  He stopped for a few years in London, soaking in the city, and then headed on over to Geneva, where he recently retired from banking -- appropriate for Switzerland.  And that is where we met him for a late Italian dinner.

I had been quite looking forward to this encounter, because here is a man who eschewed everything that I was taught to believe was a natural and satisfying life: family, wife, kids, minivan, mono-linguistic Anglo-American  suburbia. I wanted to grill him with a number of questions regarding life-style choices.

First off, the man was unbelievably knowledgeable about nearly every topic we discussed.  Over a piping hot carbonara, we covered nearly the entire history of Switzerland and chaos of trying to successfully merge 4 cultures and languages into a cohesive independent state.  Geneva, of course, was perhaps the most interesting, because even this small city puts the rest of Switzerland in its wake in terms of multiculturalism.

Jason inquired into the possibility of opening Swiss bank accounts, to which we covered the lengthy, but fascinating history of why Swiss bank accounts are so coveted.  This dealt primarily with opacity, as the Swiss nearly always refused to cooperate or give information to other banks or nations.  The interest rates are terrible, but its a great tax haven.

At the end, it would take several acts of god for the likes of Jason and I to open Swiss accounts in the few weeks that we would be here.  But if we ever worked for Baxter in Neuchatel, it would be quite easy.  Our primary reason, of course, for opening Swiss bank accounts, was mostly to impress American women.  Everyone knows Swiss bank accounts mean your rich, even if you aren't.  So, with our spirits crushed, we continued onto the topic of Robert having moved his life overseas during his middle age.

***

"The best way I can describe my existence," Robert began, "is that I am 'stranded in paradise.'" 

This was such an interesting way to describe himself that we asked for more detail. "Well, here is the thing:  I moved to London at the age of 40, having never married or began a family.  Then, I moved over to Geneva thinking I would work for a couple years and then perhaps return to my New York flat, which I had kept.  As it became increasingly obvious that I wouldn't return, I sold the flat and concentrating on maintaining Swiss residency (no small feat).  Now, if I leave Switzerland for more than two years, I lose my residency and cannot move back.  Additionally, my pension is here, my health care is here, and my friends are here.  So, in essence, I have little choice at my retirement age but to stay here, where I have no family, no wife, no real ties.  Now, that's not to say Geneva is not a spectacular place.  It's beautiful, the food is good, the people are interesting.  And so, I say that I am 'stranded in paradise.'"

This is fascinating and honest look into the life of the eternal adventurer and internationalist.  Since the beginning of college, I have been fascinated by jet-setting around the world, learning languages, loving foreign women, eating foreign foods.  At first, it didn't seem to be any negative side, and so I have been pursuing it actively.  However, Robert made an excellent case for the opposite.  Being an internationalist can lead to forsaking a family, forsaking long-term friends and commitments.

As the dinner ended, Robert ordered us an Italian grappa (a strong grape brandy that usually accompanies a heavy pasta dinner) and I asked him if he thinks he made the right choice.  Interestingly, I got a bit of a run around, which in retrospect, makes perfect sense:

"Well, I've done amazing things, seen amazing people, traveled a lot.  But at retirement, I have no family, and the Swiss can be an introverted people, not kindly allowing the likes of me into their midst."

Perhaps there is no one-way-or-the-other.   Perhaps Robert is indicative of an ordinary man who could've gone either way, but chose this life.  In this case, it would be hard to judge if it was worth losing the family life for adventure.  But, at the same time, would he really give up his adventures and interesting life to have a family in Anytown, USA?

The night closed when the staff of the ristorante got into a bizarre argument with, what appeared to be, another Italian woman (but who, even I recognized, had a bizarre accent).  We decided to beat a retreat and head for the train station.

It was a torrent of rain when we left the ristorante, the only time it really poured while we were there.  We shook hands with Robert at the train station before he hopped a cab to his flat at the French border.  We headed to Neuchatel via the train and hoped that we could see Robert again.

The night was extremely enlightening, but unfortunately, like most profound lessons in life, led to even more questions than answers.  Perhaps the best course is the middle: allot a certain time in your life to have adventures, and then to recognize a point when its is better to settle down.

I am not ready to settle down just yet...