An editor once asked me why I didn't write more about nightlife in the islands other than Tahiti. "Let me put it this way," I replied. "Most of the visitors out here are honeymooners and other couples. On most islands you get up in the morning and spend all day sightseeing or playing in the lagoon. You come back to your hotel, shower, go to dinner, and watch a Tahitian dance show, which will be over by 9pm. If you can't figure out what to do between 9pm and midnight on your honeymoon, that's not my problem!"
In other words, don't come to the islands expecting opera and ballet, or Las Vegas-style floor shows either. Other than pub-crawling to bars and nightclubs in Papeete, evening entertainment here consists primarily of feasts of island foods followed by traditional dancing.
Of course, the Tahitian hip-swinging traditional dances are world famous. They are not as lewd and lascivious today as they were in the days before the missionaries arrived, but they still have plenty of suggestive movements to the primordial beat of drums; see "A Most Indecent Song & Dance".
Every hotel will have at least one dance show a week. The best are on Tahiti, especially the thrice-weekly performances at the Inter-Continental Resort Tahiti that feature one of the best troupes, the Grande Danse de Tahiti. Also good are the Friday and Saturday evening shows at the Captain Bligh Restaurant and Bar.
Moorea offers two excellent opportunities. The Inter-Continental Resort & Spa Moorea stages a spectacular beachside show on Saturday nights. The Club Bali Hai has a free performance at 6pm on Wednesday, followed by an a la carte barbecue, making it also a very good value.
If you want to see the very best Tahitian dancing, come here in July during the annual Heiva Nui festival, when the top troupes compete on the Papeete waterfront. Plan early, since tickets can be hard to come by if you wait until the last minute.
