Franz Josef Glacier

We got to Franz Josef village after a hellish 6 hour drive through more winding, precipitous, mountain roads with graves and flowers on bends with sheer drops as a reminder if it was needed that these were dangerous roads. 

We got to Franz Josef Village and changed our pants.  The wind was howling, we were in the clouds so visability was low and the rain was torrential.  We couldn't see Franz Josef Glacier which the village was next to.  This was the case for two days, the rain would wake you up at night as it was so fierce, the owner said it was the worst weather he had known for years....so not brilliant. 

We drove to see the glacier despite the rain and wind and drove about 5 mph on a mud track that was causing our car to fishtail as buses approached.  We got out at the end of the road for a full 10 seconds to see the trail to the glacier was closed due to the river coming from the glacier flooding.  We decided to head back again to the hostel and watch tv, make a few phone calls.   I called my brother who told me climbing the glacier was a highlight of his trip here.  He climbed it!...the bastard i hadn't even seen it yet!  Being extremely jealous i checked with the reception guy if there were any tours to climb the glacier.  He replied that in the previous two days no tours had commenced due to the weather however he would book me onto one the following afternoon and if i got up early and the weather was clear i could transfer to the morning half-day trip. 

After yet more NZ TV (ruth is made up, shortland street, home and away, Neighbours, Coronation Street) we went to sleep.  I got up early in the mornign and opened the curtains to brilliant sunshine and a clear day....soo fortunate.  I immediately got myself kitted up, made a little backpack with lunch and drink in and headed to the guide centre on my own as Ruth just didn't fancy it... She had some crosswords to do, tv and a lie in and was very happy with that.

I turned up at the guide centre like a kid on his first day at school, it was so obvious that i was a billy-no-mates, primarily as i was not german and the the whole of my group was and knew each other.  So there was lots of slapping each other on the back, chatting away in german as i stomped behind, looking at my shoes.  Listening to the german was odd in the way that you can pick up some words "blah blah blah Sharon Stone" did he just say sharon stone? "Blah blah blah Basic Instinct"..guess he did....

The glacier is in advance which is one of the few in the world that is as the others are in retreat.  The force of the glacier is such that there were absolutely huge boulders stuck in the middle of it and in front, they seemed really out of place there.  The top bit is called the "third eye" for some reason the bit we were about to climb called the Terminal Face which sounded impressive.  The glacier was "found" by Austrian explorer Julius Von Haast.  Mr Haast basically walked around New Zealand saying "that can be named after me".  He has a pass named after him, mountains, already had a glacier, there is a town called haast several animals he encounted.  Basically you would say hello to him and go to shake his hand and he would grab your shirt and say "this shirt is now called haast and this pen in your top pocket is a haast pen, i see you have a haast haircut" etc.  So as he couldn't have two Haast glaciers he named it after the Austrian Emporer who in thanks send a load of chamois goats to the mountian which still  live there today.  Exciting facts eh?  Apparently the glacier used to reach the sea also which is now miles away.

We approached the glacier past "Extreme Danger" signs which didn't really breed confidence.   The guide then went into glacier facts, safety, putting crampons on etc and then got a big old axe out and started whacking the side of the ice and improving steps that had been cut into the ice earlier in the morning.  After 2 hours of climbing the ice past ice caves, crevaces, strange ice shapes, ice bridges and all manner of ice-related stuff we reached the top of the "terminal face" -the front bit.  On the top i could see right back into the valley and see where the glacier had reached on it's last advance from the way the tree-line was out across the valley.  In front were huge spikes of ice which rose up with big drops either side of them.  Just as it was getting really fun we headed back down.  Well worth it though.

As we walked back with crampons in our hands a Indian family approached and gasped and asked "have you just climbed that" while pointing.  i replied i had in a manner like i did it every day and it was no big thing.  They pointed towards the top of the glacier and asked if i had climbed there.  I replied that is where the ice is part of a waterfall as it comes off the plateau and it is too soft to climb on as there is there is so much water running underneath.  I sounded as if i knew what i was talking about and wasn't in fact just regurgitating what i was told by the guide an hour or so  before....probably even mentioned that emporer fact about his load of chamois goats. 

I felt like a mountaineering david hasslehoff i ripped my top open and beat my hairy chest and said "me Paul, climb mountain" as the indian group nodded, smiled and shuffled off. i forgot to mention to them the less impressive fact that i fell on my arse at least twice during the climb. 

Lots of German conversations later we arrived back at Franz Josef village for more NZ tv...yay

The cloud rolled in again...It had remained rain free for just the morning.  Really lucky.