Uganda - Fort Portal

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Having been put off buses for a while we decided to hire bikes for the next 5 days and try to get around under our own steam. Although we hadn't been expecting 21 gears and an aluminium frame, we were quite surprised when the bike guy arrived with two specimens we suspected had been loaned from the Transport Museum. The penny-farthings must have been hired out already so he arrived with the best of the rest - too enormous steel bikes with no gears and no suspension. We were about to embark on a five day expedition on a pair of bone-shakers.

They say you never forget how to ride a bike but I think we went some way to disproving this theory. Setting off was an embarrassment as the huge wheels wobbled beneath us and we careered from side to side into oncoming traffic. The bikes were far too big for hobbits such as Chris and I and as we struggled to avoid the numerous potholes one of us would invariably fall onto crossbars so mean I am booking Chris in for a fertility test when we reach Nairobi! Still, if Chris hadn't been struck off the cycling proficiency test all those years ago for rubbing out the lines, doing wheelies and generally being totally uncoordinated he might have fared better on these jurassic bikes. (Note to Mr and Mrs B - we are sorry if you are only finding out now that Chris failed his test as he says he passed at the time).

This southwest corner of Uganda has some of the most spectacular scenery in the area and is populated by mountains and extinct volcanoes. We were to spend our time cycling round the crater lakes in the area, based at Lake Nkuruba community project which was 20km away from Fort Portal. At home, on good tarmaced roads 20km is a mere snip of a journey if you are travelling on tarmac but as we were off the main roads it was dirt track all the way. Still, we did manage to get up a head of steam as we set off down the first hill only to realise that our trusty bikes had to brakes to speak of.

Although completely exhausting the journey was wonderful. So many people came out to wave and say hello to the two of us, although we weren't sure whether they were being friendly or simply bemused by the fact that a) a woman was riding a bike and b) there wasn't 30 kilos of bananas or a small cow on the back. The scenery was fantastic, with the deep, rich red of the road a wonderful contrast to the verdant fields and rolling hills around us, with the 'mountains of the moon' a blue-green backdrop on the horizon.

We received the usual friendly and warm welcome on arriving at Lake Nkuruba and were taken to a banda (one roomed hut) which with its thatched roof, two small windows and tended garden was so small and perfect it looked like it was straight out of a children's picture book.

Lake Nkuruba, we had been assured, no longer had any more crocodiles or hippos in - quite a relief when you are desperate to cool off after a long, hard bike ride on the heaviest bikes on earth. So we headed down, stood on the side and we . . .  well . . . we didn't really do much. We just stood and stared at the water, which was a bit too murky for our liking, and pretty much let our imagination do all the talking. Why weren't the locals swimming? Why was there no waterfowl on the lake? Were they really eyes on the logs? Most importantly off all, had some errant local scientist been pouring growth hormones into the water turning all those little lizards into . . . . . . ?

We didn't go in.

The next day we set off to Kibale National Forest, hoping to see some chimps. I had kind of had my fill of uncooperative primates after the gorilla experience but Chris has developed quite an affection for our cousins since growing his beard so off we went.

It was another hard-going but stunning ride, and we passed another fantastic lake en route (again, didn't swim as a Great White had defeated the laws of nature and got into it!). The scenery on this section was quite breath-taking. Sadly though, most of our attention was occupied as we struggled to find purchase on the gravelly inclines that our bikes were too heavy to get up with no gears, and trying not to come a cropper on the brake-defying downhills (I actually had to walk on these too as my brakes were so crap so in the end I could only really cycle on the flat).

Not having had enough exercise for the day, we arrived at the park and almost immediately set off on a guided nature walk. The forest has the highest density of primates in the world and is one of the best spots to cop a glimpse of the nearly extinct  chimpznzees. Keen as ever to cut corners, we hoped to spot a chimp en route and not have to pay $50 each for the pleasure of a 'chimp habituation' experience.

After one and a half hours of walking and not having seen anything more exciting that a family of red ants, I had definitely decided that I was over primates and if it wasn't for the fact that we are primates ourselves would be sworn off them for life. Perhaps there were in fact no primates here and the park had prudently placed a few speakers in the trees, playing primate Now 5 to the unsuspecting tourists and making a fast buck or two.

Finally our scepticism was put to rest when we saw movement in the trees and the primates suddenly started coming out to play. Amazingly for animals that live in Uganda, monkeys don't like the sun and had only started cooperating once the sun had gone in. Suddenly they were everywhere - black and white colobus monkeys, red headed colobus monkeys, red tailed monkeys, all leaping through the branches and getting a good glimpse at us. Maybe they were on a human habituation trip.

Then, booming out through the dense vegetation came the most amazing cry ever and our guide (a very sweet man who liked to pronounce his name, Charles, with a stress on the 'e' in an almost Shakespearian way), looking excited but a little nervous told us that two chimps were calling to us nearby. Before we could start looking for them CharlEs started ushering us away, telling us that if we were to see the chimps we would have to be charged the chimp trecking fee - a little unfair but amusing nonetheless. But turning to go there it was, this absolutely huge chimp about 20m away from us. We just couldn't believe the size of it and for a moment wondered if one of the mountain gorillas had made its way over here to give us a show, feeling guilty about their poor performance we had paid $800 for in Rwanda.

CharlEs stressed that we couldn't follow it because we'd have to pay. But then he started asking us whether we'd ever seen a chimp before, whether we would like to, etc, and seemed to be suggesting that maybe  (because there's always an 'or maybe') we could not pay the full fee, take a look at the chimp and slip him a little extra. So for the first time we got ourselves in a little low level Ugandan corruption and went looking for the chimp who unfortunately, after such a protracted discussion, had already buggered off in search of his mates.

We had been due to go on a night walk that evening in the hope of seeing a Bush Baby (mainly out of curiosity about whether the creature would live up to its name and we would see some sort of cherub hopping about the bushes in a huge nappy) but, alas, the skies had opened again and we were confined to our banda.

We headed back to Lake Nkuruba the next day, dreading the hills and the fish-tailing, speeding lorries but the forest had a few unexpected surprises for us which made things seem a little less gruelling. Having climbed to the top of the steepest hill of the day I took a random look back and there strolling across the road was a baby forest elephant. I just couldn't believe it. I shouted to Chris to go back and have a look and started off towards the elephants.

A crazed matatu was making its way towards us and the noise sent the elephant careering into the forest, giving me a side view which made me realise it wasn't in fact a baby elephant but another large chimp. After the matatu had gone past, and the dust had settled Chris set off to look for it whilst I looked for the bikes. We thought we were out of luck but then another of these animals appeared from the trees much closer. It was definitely not a baby elephant. It was not a chimp either. It was a baboon. Exciting, but I could definitely have got done for wrongful advertising.

After a detour to yet another crater lake which we yet again declined to swim in we made it back to Lake Nkuruba and their delicious banana and honey pancakes. It really is a great place. So beautiful, great accommodation and the most fantastic outdoor shower which is basically a bucket with a shower head attached to the base, strung up high on a rope and filled with water from the lake which the staff heat up in the kitchen. The food is great and all the money gets pumped back into the project and into helping and involving the local community. There is even a basic school there in term time and the local kids come and play football with the staff each night at four.

And to top it all off the place has a variety of games, including Giant Jenga. We had been hoping to involve everyone in a game but after having told them about our scrabble competition there was only one game Dutch girl who was brave enough to get involved in any sort of competitive activity with us.

Our five days with the bikes (despite their antiquity) around Lake Nkuruba were probably the best days of our trip so far. It was so great to be out in the countryside walking to the lakes or going out on rides, including to a tea plantation which was truly stunning. We even finally managed to swim in the lake after being shamefully exposed as cowards by the arrival of some other Mzungus who had no qualms about diving in.

It took some effort to drag ourselves away from the tranquility of the place and we could happily have turned into hermits there but the next slice of paradise was calling so off we went in search of a beach on Lake Victoria's Ssese islands. Hope you're enjoying work!