Elephant Ant Dancing

Okay….I am not even sure where to start this story…..all I can say is that never could my experience in Sen Monorom have been more different than what I had expected.  I guess best to start at the beginning-----which should have been a sign.  The guesthouse where I stayed in Kratie (great place) had arranged a bus to pick me up at 8am, along with another traveler.  Well we waited, and at about 15minutes past 8, they called the bus station, and the bus had already left…..so the goose chase began.  A girl and I, with our large hiking backpacks, day pack, and etc, both hopped on motorbikes to chase down the bus.  Now mind you, my hiking back pack weighs in at about 16kilos, which is approximately 38 pounds, give or take- and this is pulling me backward…which isn’t any easier when the motorcycle driver is speeding…I won’t say how fast, because I am sure my family is already cringing….without a helmet (they are pretty much non-existent out here).  Well after about a 20 minute high speed chase, we manage to catch the bus.  I exhale and got onboard, happy to still be alive.  We drive about 1 hour to a small village, where I change vehicles to take the long logging road to Sen Monorom.  Now, this is not just any road mind you, it is a dirt road that is FULL of dangerous bumps, etc.  So not any vehicle can make this drive.  So, I wait at the platform…meeting the people who will be riding with me in the VERY small Toyota truck with 4 wheel drive.  I stare in amazement as they fill the back of the truck with over 3 tons (literally) of large metal containers with live fish and water- there are six of these tanks.  Then on top of that, they place about another 600 pounds of boxes full of fruits and vegetables.  Then the 5 of us, thank god one girl was quite small, pile into a Toyota truck- three in the back cab- I can’t call that a seat, and three of us in the front. On top of the stuff in the back of the truck are about 8 Cambodians.  It was basically 5 hours of hell, but we managed to make it to town.  Of course, as usual, we are accosted by motorist as soon as we step out of the truck, each proffering their guesthouse.  We had all actually called ahead to a place recommended by the lonely planet called Vibol Guesthouse….and the horrors continued.  As I walked into my room I was exhausted, and somehow did not notice several small round holes, sporadically located around the room.  But as my exhaustion turned to hunger, I went down the restaurant to get something to eat.  Here is where our host explained to us about the “tour” packages he offered.  Myself and one of the couples- retired from Sweden- had an interest in an overnight elephant trek.  As we asked for pricing, he said, it is 40/person- 2 people per elephant.  So that is 80/day for 2 people.  But I was riding  single, so he would “give me a deal” at $60/day.  I am a little taken aback by the high price, considering the country we are in, where generally my accommodations cost  somewhere between $4-6 per night.  I told him I needed the following day to think about it.  So the next day, after talking with the Swedish couple, I put down a deposit…despite my feelings of apprehension.  And I SPECIFICALLY asked if this was the going rate around town, and he said yes, you can even ask around.  So I headed to town, already annoyed at the terrible menu, and disgusting room…..I will get to this soon.  Well, I stopped at a place called Green House restaurant and bar, and had a fabulously yummy dinner for $2, and started a conversation with the owner (who also arranged tours).  He told me it would cost one person $40/day for an overnight elephant trek.  Well at this point I am fuming.  I get back to the guesthouse to confront the owner, and he is not there.  I ring him up and he says I can cancel, but I can’t have my money back because he has already given it to the elephant guides.  So I am stuck…and I think, whatever…and I head to bed for the night….where I am awakened by the sound of something scurrying in the wall….oh no!! Yes, RATS! As I look around I start to notice the holes in the wall.  Of course, I get a horrid nights sleep.  The next day, I grudgingly set off in the car to the village where we are to then transfer to the elephants for the overnight trek to a waterfall.  When we arrive, I am informed that our English speaking guide will be riding with me….so not only am I paying an extra $20 for the English guide, but also $120 for two days of trekking, but I don’t even get my own elephant.  Let me explain, you ride on the elephant in a basket- it is approximately 4 feet long, and 2 feet wide with a small bench that lies inside with a small cushion.  I am almost 6 feet and have a large behind, so you can imagine my chagrin at the situation.  And of course, one of the elephants is not there.  Well we FINALLY get on the trek.  It was actually quite beautiful, despite my sore bum after some 5 hours in that damn tiny basket.  Now, elephants are VERY hungry creatures, so they are continually eating plants, trees etc, along the way.  They can take down a small tree, no problem.  They are particularly found of bamboo, which the guide says is like chocolate to them and also, long vines that grow up onto trees.  WELL, my elephant grabbed for a long vine- over our heads, and low and behold…..there was a RED ARMY ANT COLONY on that vine.  So…in a matter of seconds I am COVERED with over 1,000 huge red ants!  I stand up (in my small basket, on top of a 17foot tall MOVING elephant back) screaming “Stop the damn elephant, Stop the damn elephant!!!!”  and we all now how loud I am…but the elephant is not stopping, I am swiping at large biting ants- REALLY 1,000s.   It was torture.  Well the driver somehow managed to get the darn elephant stopped, and the guide helped me and himself to remove all the ants….which took over ten minutes.   But I did survive…..and somehow or the other, did not fall off the elephant.  Around 3pm we finally arrived at our destination, I won’t even go into detail here- I spent the night in a bad hammock that pretty much hit the ground.  We did have a great swim at the bottom of the falls, which were quite pretty….and had a fairly uneventful trek back….although I walked most of the way, unless we were crossing a river.  Then I had to climb up the elephant (did I mention it was 17feet high?) and then back down again- the elephant did not sit down….I did realize I am still a pretty darn good climber (thanks to all those days mountain climbing instead of going to class at NAU J ) .  When I got back I made the guesthouse switch me rooms.  Although I am determined to make sure NO traveler ever stays at Vibol Guesthouse and will write reviews on every travel website I know of (I talked with several travelers there who were as disenchanted as I was with the lying creep who now owns the place….greedy bastard). It actually became a running joke among those of us who were staying there.  Well, I made it back to Kratie, and am getting some rest before I head off to Laos tomorrow.  I will be staying in the area know as 4000 island on the island of Don Det.  I am looking forward to some hammock time.  Notably there are supposed to be some fun little places to meet others…..so stay tuned as usual!!! And if you ever get a chance to ride an elephant- pass…..lol!  Or maybe just for a sunset for 20 minutes!

Let me explain, you ride on the elephant in a basket- it is approximately 4 feet long, and 2 feet wide with a small bench that lies inside with a small cushion.