Chi Chi Chi Lay Lay Lay

Statue of the Virgin in Cerro San Cristobal
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Distance traveled 3,150km

Yes I know the three entries before this are blank, but they won't be and then this won't make sense but that's the magic of blogging. We have lots to tell you about but tours and a lack of wi-fi have meant we've got a bit behind. We're in Santiago now in a swish apartment with unprecedented views of a car-wash and main road so assuming some let-up in the car-washing/traffic excitement there should be time to fill you in on altitude sickness, near death trekking, ghost towns and my search for what surely must be the only museum dedicated to boxes in the whole world/universe.

Andrew: But Wendy darling......Wendy: 'Wendy darling', I'll darling your *rse with a rusty lawn-sprinkler

Gardens in Cerro San Cristobal
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I've now added some little snippets of information on most of our previous destinations for those who find such things interesting. I'm also attempting to translate a spanish book into english so you might get to learn all about the history of demons in literature, you lucky things you. And don't worry you're not missing much in terms of Santiago action, we've been very lazy recently although we did manage to somehow get into the Chile v Ecuador world cup qualifying game which was pretty cool.

Chile scores and hmmm those fireworks seem quite close, health and safety anyone?
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My beard has now grown right over my mouth and for the first time yesterday i didn't recognise myself in the mirror, that's probably not a bad thing you're thinking but it is a pain having to wash my mouth every time I eat or drink, although I am considering the possibilities of longer term emergency food storage. I've also been using my free time wisely and in addition to fermenting (errr fermenting, I think I mean formenting there, i don't have that much yeast) conditions for world peace I've discovered that chocolate milk and pineapple juice is yummy.

Cerro Santa Lucia - a lovely park in central Santiago
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Not much to add to the above, eventually we bothered to leave our apartment to visit a large shopping mall, do a walking tour of the city and we also took the funicular up San Cristobel to see the statue of the Virgin and did a walk down to some pretty Japanese gardens. Other than that we found some great veggie restaurants, a small slice of home in a bar that served Hobgoblin and a bit more of a home when I picked up a copy of 'Moondial' for a bargain 1,000 pesos (about GBP1.20). Oh and I bought the most ridiculous pair of trainers ever seen, I really don't know what came over me, they're silver, blue and orange; if I was a Denver Broncos fan there might be some slight excuse but as I'm not there really isn't. Shame on me. We went to the fish market and I had conger eel, which for some bizarre reason I thought you could only get in the Congo, much like various misconceptions I've had over my lifetime – that Mr Bump is white with blue bandages, that the world was full of public conveniences because To Let signs were offering lavatorial facilities but someone kept going round wiping out the i's and that WH Smith should be pronounce Wissmiths. Please add your own favourite misconceptions if you can be bothered to register.

Chilean Presidential Palace - Hi Michelle
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Incidentally if you think the London tube is confusing, in Santiago it's not enough just to be on a train on the right line, they also colour the stops as well so that on the green line you have both red and green trains (there's a red line as well!) which only stop at alternate red and green stops respectively. Hence you can think you're on the right line and sail right past your station and then when you get off at the next station and try to come back the same thing happens. This nearly happened to us going to the football; the station we wanted was red and we were on a green train. Luckily though I'd got completely *rsed up and got the wrong stadium but a lovely and slightly bemused commuter on the train directed us to the right station which happened to be on the same line but a few more stops down. That's probably all my luck for the year used up right there.

Bizarre sculpture in main square Santiago
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p.s. For those following this blog for culinary tips, a) what the hell are you doing? And b) try lemon juice and mint, it's so refreshing (you will need to add sugar although you can play the exciting 'how little sugar can I get away with' game).