Back in 'Nam

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Here we are, back in Vietnam. This time around things are much more familiar to us - the stifling heat as soon as we step off the plane (we are prepared with handkerchiefs to wipe away the pouring sweat and umbrellas to shield the sun this time), trying to cross the street across a million motorcyles in a city with surprisingly few stoplights (our guide to Ha Long Bay said the best way to cross a Ha Noi street is to close your eyes and just walk), our old hotel The Hanoi Elegance, Beer Ha Noi at our old haunt Le Pub, and of course Adam's endless stream of jokes regarding the local Vietnamese currency, the Dong (he's got quite a routine going, even some new jokes that I didn't hear last time around) - use your imagination, I refuse to encourage him by putting down on paper the exact jokes. We arrive at our old hotel situated right in the middle of the old quarter, The Hanoi Elegance. To our surprise, we remember the manager and he remembers us!

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We would only be in Hanoi for one night, as the very next morning we were to leave on a 2 day/1 night boat cruise in Halong Bay. We really loved it last time and decided to do another trip. We emailed the tour company ahead of time to book it, but, we know how Vietnam works, and sometimes reservations don't really mean that something has been reserved. So, we swing by the tour company, and of course, they don't have our reservation. We argued with the woman for awhile. Laurie was even able to pull up the email as proof, but she said that our email was only proof that there reservation system received our request for a reservation, it wasn't an actual reservation. We were very disappointed. She wasn't budging. There was no more availability on the cruise we wanted to take, and we were really bummed. We had just arrived, we were tired, and we were looking forward to the cruise. We had done the last tour with the same company, Handspan, and they were great. They completely catered to us. Now, they had no reservations for us. We pleaded and tried to rationalize with her. Perhaps they would put us on a different tour, for the same price. Nothing. So, we were so mad, we headed out of the office and into the first tour company, across the street, called Kangaroo Tours.

You get what you pay for.

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We walked into Kangaroo and were greated by a very nice young woman. They had a brand new deluxe ship, she said. They could absolutely cater to vegetarians, she said. It would be great, she said. We were struck by the price. It was much lower - half as much - as the other company. We were both shocked. We asked her about it. She noted that companies like Handspan were internationally owned and therefore paid higher taxes, but not them! They could offer us cheaper prices for the same value, she said. We weren't sure, but we were upset from the previous experience. But, it was a new boat after all, and they would even be giving us free foot massages on the boat. So, we figured, maybe the bed isn't quite as nice, but everything else should be great. She started to book things for us, taking down our information, and with some concern, Laurie looked over at me and said, "I'm just a little bit worried. I mean, everything you always hear is, 'You get what you pay for.'"

The tour company was to pick us up 8 am sharp for the 3 hour van trip to Ha Long Bay where we would embark on our boat trip. We were picked up at 8 am and then proceeded to drive around the narrow streets of Ha Noi for another hour and a half, lost, picking up the other tourists who were to be on the tour with us.

But, you get what you pay for.

We finally get going, making the 3 hour trip uneventfully and are herded like cattle with a zillion other tourists to the boat docks at the bay, only to wait another hour before actually getting on the boat. This is not the experience we remember and it goes downhill from there. With Handspan, we went coolly from the air-conditioned minivan transport right onto the boat, where we were greated with a welcome watermelon smoothie and lunch buffet. (The staff came to us personally to assure us that our vegetarian needs would be met). With Kangaroo, we were dropped off on a dirt road overpopulated with other confused tourists in a cluster of madness and heat.

You get what you pay for.

At Kangaroo, we eventually - after boarding and de-boarding several smaller boats - made it to our boat. And by them saying that vegetarians were catered for, it meant that they had rice. So, for the next three meals on the boat we ate rice - only. Of course, as we needed more calories, so we drank a lot of beer too. We made sure to get our day's worth of calories in this way. Of course, they had only luke-warm cans of cheap beer, not like Handspan's full bar and ice cold libations.

You get what you pay for.

We were supposed to swim in the bay as we cruised, but since we were so behind from the morning we just cruised to the 'Amazing Cave.' If you remember from our last trip to Ha Long Bay, this is the cave that has many rock formations that over the years people have said look remarkably like a _____ (turtle, buddha, bear, snake, large penis (this one in particular has many lights to highlight its amazing-ness)). Adam and I were supposed to go kayaking while the others did the cave (our guide promised), but in the end something happened, as it inevitabley does, and we had to go to the cave - again.

You get what you pay for.

Then, it was time to kayak. Awesome! This was the highlight. We waited at a dock to kayak. We were told we would wait 5 minutes. Everything, you should know, in Vietnam should only take 5 minutes, according to them. There was much confusion as there always is (you know what I mean if you've ever been to Southeast Asia) for an hour, and finally we were on a kayak. Our tour guide said for us to hurry hurry.

You get what you pay for.

It was scorching hot but we kayaked to this beautiful limestone cave and it was a piece of heaven. This was really the best moment of our trip to Halong Bay. Our guide had told us we only had 45 minutes total and it had taken about 25 minutes to get there, so we took it all in for several minutes and rowed as quickly as possible (kayaking is hard work!). We made it back to the dock in 50 minutes and our guide chastised us and told us everyone was already back at the boat and we were holding everyone up because we were late. What?!

You get what you pay for.

We get on the boat, eat our dinner of rice and beer, and the next morning sail through the limestone cliffs back to the bay and our last meal. This is where Adam gets sick. He ventured outside of our "normal" rice and beer diet for the trip.

You get what you pay for.