Attacked

It was at night they came, virtually silent they waited until I was asleep before mounting their brutal and bloody attack. I use the plural 'they' as I doubt just one of them could do that much damage. I awoke dazed in the morning to witness the results. Being dazed didn't come from the attack itself but more from the copious amounts of booze I had the night before; and the attackers were a tiny and almost invisible variety of New Zealand mosquito. Even with my best efforts they had somehow managed to get past 2 layers of netting into the tent, under a blanket, into my sleeping bag and into my shorts to leave no less than 7 bites on my arse! Yes folks, welcome to the world of camping.

We were in New Zealand and had decided to explore the country living from a tent so as to make a change to the hotels we had been frequenting of late. The weather was great and it seemed like a popular way to explore so we kitted ourselves with everything we would need and headed north out of Auckland.

The first campsite was only a couple of hours away tucked away on a hill overlooking a small bay where scuba divers and snorkellers would spend the day. We pitched our tent at the front of the field with a great view over the bay, the sun was shining and the afternoon heat demanded some of those ice cold beers we had packed away in the cooler box. I was quite happy sitting in the field drinking cold beers so we whiled away the evening doing just that. The only problem with drinking too much beer when sleeping in a tent however is that you have to get up and walk to the toilet in the middle of the night. Of course we hadn't considered this so after a drunken fumble with the various zips of the tent I emerge into the cold night, spin around a couple of times trying to get my bearings before heading to the men's room. Not before kicking one of the steel tent pegs with my bare feet however and breaking my toe. At that point I really didn't care who I woke up. On top of this I had the mosquito attack and so for the next few days I had to limp around and apologise to everyone I met just incase I would start subconsciously scratching my arse or fiddling with my toe. The bites didn't stop there either but you get the drift.

Mosquitos and sand flies aside though New Zealand is a fantastic place. The people are friendly and the scenery is to die for. In the far north exists a place called the Bay of Islands where 146 different lush green islands await you, where hundreds of wild dolphins and whales are quite happy to swim with you in the crystal clear water and where the sun shines pretty much most of the year.

After a few days here we drove to reach the town of Rotorua a few hours south of Auckland. This area is famed for its hot thermal springs which openly bubble on the surface as a result of the areas volcanic activity. The only side affect however is the sulphur which also gets released into the local air. Its a nice enough place but it smells like those stink bombs you used to get as kids and set off in school. Great if you've had a few beers and a curry so you can 'blend in with the environment' when you need to but not nice to wake up to.

Just outside the town however were some of the activities that New Zealand is famed for. It was my first bungy jump and I had saved the experience for New Zealand. This one was the practice run though, I know it doesn't sound high when you say 43 metres but lets see what you say when your feet have been bound by a big rubber band and you are standing on the edge of a platform looking down at the ground. Once the countdown ends you have 2 choices, you can jump or you can bottle it. I did however managed to throw myself off the edge without any hesitation which actually looked very cool in the video that Emma took.

Before my bungy Emma had a go on one of those skydive simulators that keep you off the ground by blowing a bloody great big fan in your face. I told her the real thing was better but she wasn't having any of it. We also went to the Zorbing hill, essentially a big hamster ball that you strap yourself into before rolling yourself down the hill. Good enough fun if you had one in your garden I suppose but not worth the money they charged. Emma wasn't allowed to partake in this one even though she wanted to as she was 'too short'.

Next on our list was a town called Taupo which sits on a huge lake with the same name. Just to give you an idea this lake is apparently the same size as Singapore country. As a backdrop several snow capped mountains can be seen in the distance, if you ever go to New Zealand, go here. Taupo as it turns out is the skydive capital of the world, who can blame them with that scenery, so one afternoon and without telling her I booked both Emma and I for a jump at the local airfield. If you have been following the previous blogs you will by now know that Emma and planes don't mix (not unless drugs and booze are involved). She certainly wasn't going to jump out of one and she was adamant about this when I sprung it on her.

The sun must have been going to her head however as before she knew it she was kitted out in a jump suit and strapped to a very tall German bloke making her way up to the 15,000 feet jump level. The video is available on Facebook for anyone who needs to see this to believe but at several points between the music overlay you can hear the screams and swearing. I never thought she would do it and I must say I am very proud that she did. Almost everyone who does a jump immediately wants to do another and Emma was no different. It was at this point that she volunteered herself to do a bungy jump, now searching for that next adrenaline rush.

Shortcut a couple of weeks through Wellington, Nelson and some big glaciers we find ourselves in Queenstown on the south island, the bungy capital of the world, home to what we believe to be the highest commercial bungy in the world at 134 metres and set in some of the most fantastic scenery available. Even I had to take a couple of deep breaths before leaping off this one, the freefall is 8.5 seconds before the bungy rope starts to slow you down. If you done neither a bungy or a skydive the two are alike in terms of freefall but very different. For a start at 15,000 feet you have no concept of the height, even if you do suffer from vertigo, it like looking out of a plane window, you don't get scared. With a bungy its different. You can see the ground in alarming detail, you can actually picture the exact spot where you would be splattered if anything went wrong.

Emma had a few doubts but she bravely made her way to the end of the jump platform. The countdown began, 3-2-1 bungy............  The second countdown began 3-2-1 bungy.......... I could hear tiny squeaks of “i don't want to do it anymore” coming from her general direction  but on the 3rd countdown she leapt off the edge and basically screamed all the way down. Again videos are available on Facebook if you need to witness it.

She was now addicted to the adrenaline and over the next few days we went white water rafting over class 4 rapids which is essentially the fastest you can do as an amateur and paraglided off the top of a cliff. For me the bravery came when I was asked to sit on the back of another horse and gallop around a field. As per last time, sore arse and walking like John Wayne for a few days.

Our time was quickly coming to an end though and we had to make a flight back through Sydney and on to Singapore for the start of our Asian sector. Let me just summarise here again for you, New Zealand – loved it. Would definitely go back, would probably even immigrate there.

So we spent a few days in Singapore before catching a bus up to Kuala Lumpur. I have some family here so we have been staying with them for a few days before heading off to explore. The mosquitos here are the worst I have come across, I don't remember them ever being this bad during my previous visits here. In the past few days I have been bitten about 30 times. I am counting on average 10 new bites per day, even after I put on the repellent. Fortunately none on my arse yet but it won't be long. Emma is trying to adjust to the local food and water (you know what this means) and the humidity is near 100%. Its hot, hot, hot.

I'll let you know how we got on in a few weeks.