Agra-vation

So we headed out on the train to Agra nice and early to experience the magical wonder of one of the world's great wonders in one of the most polluted cities I've ever seen. We were provided with tea and breakfast on the train and as soon as we were out of the station seemed to have found ourselves with a rickshaw that we'd hired for the day. I think we were won over by the driver's spectacular trousers. I was so enthuased by them that I managed to run "snazzy" and "fancy" into "snancy".

We spent the first hour of the morning enjoying a leisurely masala tea on a rooftop terrace that faced the Taj. Unfortunately the Taj was for the most part hidden behind a thick cloud of smog. It was quite gross really. Deciding that the smog was just a little too much to deal with on the first day, we decided that we'd head out around Agra with our rickshaw driver and see the rest of the sights, with the hope that visibility would improve a little so that we could visit the Taj the following day.

We set out around midday and headed first for Agra's Red Fort. It was chaotic with queues of tourists and sellers trying to offload paperweights and backgammon boards, as well as a whole hoarde of monkeys that looked like they'd quite eagerly rip our faces off if they thought we were worth the effort. Once we forced our way to the entrance and payed the hefty admission price, Adele and Martha got to hang around by themselves for a while whilst I had the pleasure of vomiting in the public toilets. (3-2 to Frank on the Puking At Significant Locations tally) Happy times. Don't really know what brought it on, perhaps all the smog in my lungs. I wasn't alone either, there was at least one other whitey westerner clearly struggling to keep her breakfast down on a bench opposite from me after I'd endured my toilet experience. Several passersby also stopped to show concern/show solidarity.

Anyway, once I pulled myself together enough for us to move on we made our way around the various ruins of the Red Fort. Along the way we made friends with various chipmunks who were very trustworthy with the public and had to lose numerous groups of young men who thought it was very funny that we should be tourists at a tourist site. There was this one chipmunk who tried to carry a huge towel up a tree in its mouth. Silly. There were also three young men it took us about half an hour to loose. Stupids.

After the fort we lunched and then our rickshaw driver took us to visit the "Baby Taj", affectionately named for it's similarity to the main tourist point in Agra (I think it's real name is Itad-Du-Daula or something along those lines). It was as though we were visiting the birth of the Taj the likeness being that good, and it was also a welcome retreat from the Agra Fort.(I actually very much liked the Fort despite the Stupids. It's nicer than Delhi's Red Fort in my opinion and had cool stories about progressive justice. Also I didn't think the "Baby Taj" was so much of a spit for "The Big Pointy") Far fewer people seemed to be interested in the Little Taj which meant it was very peacful when wondering around. Once we'd finished marvelling at the likeness of the baby we headed to a particular viewpoint where tourists flock to have clear photos taken of the Taj with a reflection of itself in the river. It was the perfect way to end a generally good touristy day. Or it would have been if our driver had then not insisted on taking us to shops so that we could endure the glares of owners as we repeatedly explained that we didn't want to purchase any of their fine saris or diamonds. Awkward awkward awkward. We did get an interesting explanation of marble inlay techniques and local precious stones but it wasn't worth the wrath of the scary, monotone man.

We headed back to our hotel and enjoyed dinner on the rooftop where the Taj was literally invisable with the combination of night time lighting and smog. Bleugh. That evening several videos were made of Adele flipping out over a card game. Viewings can be arranged.

Fortunately visibility the next day was perfect! We had planned well! We set off in bright sunshine to pay the extortionate entry fees (no, really) and then had to faff about with security and be told that a book was perfectly acceptle to be brought into the grounds but that we could certainly not bring in that magazine. I didn't really understand what was happening and was distracted by the sight of Adele ramming a Snickers bar into her mouth as fast as possible because that also could not be taken onto the grounds. HAHAHAHAHA. With regards to the Snickers not the rules. The rules were totally arbitrary and annoying.

Once inside though we were greeted with the full magnitude of the Taj Mahal. It truly is stunning. It helped a lot for me personally that there weren't nearly as many tourists as I was expecting. Other tourists make me mental. They should all behave more like me. They really should. You would not believe the manners of some people! It's disgusting. It's a wonder they're allowed outside of Europe, or their mothers.

We spent about 2 hours in total soaking up the views and and joining in with everyone else in the kind of annoying process of capturing the perfect photos of the main dome of the Taj. We were ushered inside of the building and shown the tombs of the occupants but I preferred just sitting on the benches outside and looking up at everything from a nice quiet spot. It was lovely.

Once we left the Taj and had lunch the rest of the afternoon was spent drinking more Masala tea very lazily on another rooftop terrace. Our train back to Delhi was around 8 in the evening and although we'd enjoyed the sights of Agra were more than happy to escape the nasty smog and return to the safety of our home in Delhi with the Butts. We were given ice cream on the train!!!