Conseils de Classe

Me at the Place des Vosges
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It is amazing how settled I feel here. It is as if I have been doing this for quite some time. It no longer feels foreign to me. I know my schedule, my kids, the main procedures, and I even have routines for how my after hours go. Mondays are the best : two hours of class, and then I buy a baguette, make and eat lunch, do laundry, go for a walk, and finish any lesson prep I need for the week. This usually involves sending documents to my email address since I can’t connect the printer here to my laptop. I print out everything at school. Usually, this works just fine. It was only one day that I brought my flash stick and it was to fat to fit in the port (old style comps with a small opening in the front) so the next day I did the email ritual, not thinking that aol wouldn't’t work that day at school. I went to school early to print it out, but nothing. Aol was laughing at me. Then, again at lunch, I gave it another shot, mostly patient – I deserve a blue ribbon for that ! So, I decided that I would just go out to lunch and figure out what to do next. I decided to advance the next lesson and postpone the exam. I thought it was the best alternative (especially since i try to plan all my lessons for the week before Monday), but I wasn’t satisfied. I decided to give it one more try, even thought the bell already rang. It opened, but I had to see my kids. I ran down the three flights (two in French terms), opened the door and told everyone to study. I ran back up, printed it out (Thank Gosh !), photocopied everything but the one extra map for the weather questions, ran down again, and they took the test. Only two had to stay two minutes after the bell because of the late start.

See what becomes of great literature?!
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Otherwise things are going smoothly. Uh, well, no, that isn’t so true. There are the « conseils de classe », which consist of grouping with other teachers who teach the same kids (remember that each class is a separate entity – nothing is grade level), and we share our grades, ideas, and feelings about the class in question. I had about eight, but realized I had done too much. Since for some classes with « regroupements » from other sections, I only have three or four students. For these, I could’ve simply written a petit mot (small word) instead of coming back after school so often. The last one I was so fed up with these hour long discussions where the teachers seemed so confident about their ideas (I thought they had spy cameras attached to these kids to know so much) and I had my own thoughts on four students, that I was visibly pissed off. One teacher was talking to me from across the room, but the other teachers were also talking and I blurted out « I don’t hear a thing since everyone is talking at the same time. » Well, I think I made it painfully obvious that this American was not ready for so many meetings with so much unfamiliar jargon, and even felt defeated by not being able to understand long-distance French intermingled with three other conversations. One prof took pity on me and mentioned that I should say my peace and jet. That was pretty cool of him, but I am still ashamed that I was so tired and let the others see that I had lost my cool. The French are almost Asian in that respect. Although partially Mediterranean, they do not like to lose face or show disagreeable emotion in certain settings. (Other settings are ideal for shouting and expressing n’importe quoi ! « no matter what ») It just isn’t classy.

even in English this phrase doesn’t truly sound Kosher

Don't disturb the grass; it's resting!
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Then, I used some expressions that were more American, and saw raised eyebrows. I am pretty good at putting my foot in my mouth and these meetings about the kids were no exception. When asked how I felt about one class, I had come out of a rough day where I had no energy and therefore not the normal control of the class, and I said I am not particularly in love with them. Well, looking back, even in English this phrase doesn’t truly sound Kosher. However, the French loved it since they 1) raised their eyebrows, 2) chuckled, 3)laughed more loudly, and 4) the principal smiled and told me that if I said that the parents would be on my back « sur le dos. » It is funny how words are used, what connotations they have, and where you are and are not allowed to say them. France has an unusually larger proportion of linguistic issues. Register is so important here. There are some expressions that I learned as a college student or with my peers that shocked the collegiens. To me, they were so harmless, but the students laughed and enjoyed hearing an American who first actually was aware of such a phrase, but also who would cross the linguistic boundary of who you are allowed to say what to based on the context.

Lost weight. Pleanty of stairs and walking to work helps.
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It truly is amazing what I am learning here ! Just listening to the teachers’ vocabulary and style of addressing the various students gives quite an insight. They aren’t afraid to just dig in and rip apart (from my POV) a kid they have known for like six weeks. It is hard to label (like everything else nowadays) how French teachers are. Most of them were a little harsh in my view since it is always the same at the beginning of the year. The kids are rusty, they need time to readjust, and nothing will change that. I do not know why any particular year is more pathetic or decevant than the ones in the past. It always seems to be grave. On the contrary, I have enjoyed seeing that I share some of the same opinions as some of the colleagues. When I am not the only who can’t understand how this kid or that kid is not performing up to snuff, or surprised at how well they do with writing and can’t speak a lick, I smile. Social is never discussed. Performance seems to be what matters most. No one wants to hear that everything is going well ; then you can’t take credit for their vast improvements you will help them make this year. It is quite cynical of me, but I just didn’t see enough understanding. Maybe I am young and still optimiste as Americans are often described, but I want to know the whole picture of the student. Each of his or her teachers talk, but I just haven’t quite grasped their aim. I hopefully will, since there is always a philosophy and reasoning behind all actions and speech.

In the states, we are always consumed with the child’s family life and its impact, their learning disabilities, but here, there hasn’t been one mention of ADD, ADHD, grapho-motor, dyslexia, etc. Are these students not mainstreamed, are all French students immune to this, are we (Americans) over-diagnosing normalcy with a slow improvement rate ? Do I have such low expectations of students each September that I am not as appalled as these profs certainly are? Why do all students have to fall into certain levels in the states, whereas the averages here are more realistic to me ? Why are we so scared of parents, and bending over backwards until we snap in the states ? Can I go back to this system where I feel like a slave ? Where a parent can call up and I am not allowed to know who it is, and then change my class just because ? Why do the French have so much more autonomy than in the states ? (Another great moment was when another teacher had issues with the fact that my grades were too high. I know I am new to their system, and the knowledge base of my students, but allow me the right to have high grades and discuss it instead of insisting that I lower them somehow/anyhow. Why are American teachers treated so lowly, with little to no respect in terms of being able to make their own choices and not be asked to support them constantly ? Can I go back to having meeting after meeting that solves nothing, wastes my precious planning for five lessons a day five days a week, and apparently I will also have a duty on top of all of that ? Is this going to be possible ? I am so happy here. I have a life outside of school. School isn’t fifty to sixty hours of my week. I can’t believe I just counted the hours I spend inside that building. From 7 – 5 is the normal for me. I only go home at 3 :30 or 4 once in a while. Then there is play, which I love, but I can’t continue to bury myself in work. I have literally just buried my 20’s, and I did a lot : in the summer. I worked to forget about life. I don’t want to do that anymore. I see other humans during the week here. I go out for tea, or a glass of wine, or a walk at a park, whatever. I must be on school grounds for 18 hours a week, but the reality of included lunches and holes in the schedule…22 hours a week is spent at school. How is this possible ?! It is nice to have three photocopiers (one is high speed), and five computers for grade input, etc. The teachers’ room has space, so people come and stay. There are plenty of chairs, and the cassiers are there for their mail and materials they don’t want to schlep home each day. I think I have become spoiled here and must face the ultimate reality that this is ONLY for one year. I love what I do, but I still need to figure out what I need to change to make myself happier back home.

BTW, I love you guys back home, I love my classroom, I love the support from 95% of the parents who are always so thankful and generous with time and money, who do have mostly sweet kids, and no , I don’t personally get much flack from parents, and none from administration, but there is just something. I don’t think it is the school itself ; it can’t be. I think the society makes a school system work and continue. The deep rooted philosophies on what the institution must represent and purport makes it what it is. There’s no way to change all of that. I am good ad adapting, and have already adapted to the American way, which I am seldom accord, and the same goes for the French system. There is plenty I do not agree with, but survival is about making your own little niche wherever you are. Making sure that you can work around that which doesn’t please you, and making yourself happy in little ways. Making friendships, promoting a warm classroom environment, allowing for mistakes with the idea of growth from them, opening minds, and respecting each other (with some humor allowed as well) is what I feel I do stand for as an educator. Like religion, everyone is entitled to their own chemin (pathway). I carve mine out everyday, and I share time with others who go in the same direction.