Big Pimpin up in NYC

Battery Park looking at the financial district
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Day 1

Cousin Hannah and I caught a 930 AM bus from Metro Center to NYC, arriving around 2:00.  We couldn't´t find a locker where Hannah could stash her gear at Penn station so we both lugged our crap down to the East Village where my Rice buddy Matt was living while he interned at a law firm.

I´m gonna f··· you up, I´ll crack your skull!

After getting off the subway at the 2nd Ave stop we quickly had our welcome to the big apple.  Not moments after stepping into the bright sunny afternoon we were accosted by an angry homeless man, in his 40s or 50s.  No, sorry buddy, I got no change for ya.  I´ve probably said it hundreds of times in DC and it´s always been enough, but not for this guy.  He kept muttering and following us as we made our way to 5th St to meet Matt.  Eventually he laid off and I thought that would be the end of it, but apparently 5th and 2nd Ave was in his hobo territory cause when we stopped there to wait he came after us again.  I assumed he must be a little off and just didn't recognize that we were the same two people who had just rebuffed him, so I was polite, but getting annoyed quickly.  He left again, but while I was distracted by telephoning Matt, Hannah warned me that he was pointing his walking stick at her and glaring.  Moments later he was back, and in her face, yelling some gibberish.  I flipped out, hung up my phone, and dropped both of my backpacks with superhuman speed as I told him to back the f··· off. He was visibly startled and beat a hasty retreat while screaming profanities at me.  Again, I thought it was over.  But no, a minute later he returned with a confused looking and very much larger homeless man.  He started yelling and swinging his cane, from juuuust out of striking range "I´m gonna f··· you up, I´ll crack your skull" etc, etc.  I stared him down with my best gladiator gaze while plotting how to quickly make this a very bad day for the bum and his poor friend.  But he was all bluster and no action.  He invited me to hit him first, which of course I did not do, and at that point it was clear he didn't have the sack to attack me.  A very nice, almost definitely Jewish middle aged woman intervened at that point...something along the lines of ¨oooh Jooey why didn´t you call me...-side whisper- don't look at him, these guys are crazy!"  At first I suspected that this might be an elaborate NYC homeless people´s ruse - lull me into complacency with the wild man while the sweet little lady takes us down.  I was just about to crack her skull when I realized it would be more strategic of me to wait and see what her angle was.  I´m still working on that.  Anyway she pointed out that our bags made us targets.  My adrenaline was still up so I kinda of spaced out on her and never really thanked her for her neighborly kindness.

Hangin with Hannah in Midtown
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We dropped our bags in Matt´s tiny little summer apartment.  No A/C, no internet, fairly dirty, nothing to sleep on but a cruddy foam mat and no linens of any kind beyond a small towel that could barely cover me from shoulders to knees.  My journey had begun.

Matt had to go back to work so Hannah and I went up to Central Park for a glorious afternoon of chillin, listening to music, walking in the sunshine.  In the evening Hannah went to meet her friends and I went with Matt to have dinner with his roommate from Barcelona study abroad.

Crossing the Brooklyn Bridge, headed for JFK
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When we arrived at the restaurant we found, to our surprise, that Matt´s friend Mark had company...three women who I think he knew from work.  Two were older, probably in their 40s, one was our age, and all were just in town from NJ for entertainment.  The most forward of them was the oldest, 41 year old Maria, from Portugal (shoutout to Dolan, she´s a Benfica fan).  The 2nd older lady introduced herself as Unintelligible-from-Transylvannia.  I will call her the Vampire.  I made a joke about vampires and she gave me a death stare.  I made sure to order a pizza with garlic on it.  The last girl, Jane, was 24 and maybe a little bit shy.  Anyway we had a nice dinner.  Maria loved us, Vampire hated us and Jane just seemed a bit confused by our weird deadpan humor and outlandish political posturing.

After dinner Maria suggested we go out to a famous bar she knew of in the Meatpacking District called Hogs & Heifers.  It was slightly awkward when we had to remove the child seats from her back seat for us all to get into the car.  Why was a 41-year-old, married with 2 kids woman out in NYC with a bunch of 24 year olds?  Ummmm...Anyway the bar was a spectacle. As we walked in we were greeted by two drunken bar tenders dancing on the bar while yelling into a megaphone.  There were like 5000 bras up the the wall along with signs warning that we were under surveillance.  Oh and only 1 person allowed into the filthy bathrooms at a time. No exceptions. DAAAMNIT!  The crowd was mostly comprised of well-to-do looking older professionals who you wouldn't expect to find in a dive like Hogs & Heifers.  Maria seemed to be loving the cougar vibes, but Matt and I became wary.  Cougars were prowling everywhere...a dangerous situation! One of them snared Mark and we decided to make a run for it.  Matt had work in the morning and couldn't afford to show up looking mauled.

We made it home and I slept like shit on the little foam pad with a half towel blanket.

Day 2

Got up when Matt went to work and started walking.  I walked from the East Village, west through Greenwich Village, NYU campus with the new students moving in, to Washington Square Park.  The square was mostly under construction so I didn´t really wanna hang out there, but thankfully I got what I really wanted...a really gangsta lookin black guy with corn rows and gold teeth approached me, hand out - ¨Heyy, mai maan. Can I git chu sumthin naaaaice today?¨ Oh yes, just the way to get my day of NYC exploration started with a bang.  I tripped westward and south into SoHo, just wandering st to st.  On Canal I bought an overpriced SD mem card for my camera. I arrived in Chinatown just in time to have a pretty nice Pho lunch.  Then I walked down to Battery Park, the financial district, World Trade Center site (I cant believe its still just a hole in the ground. Can we please build something already?), across the Brooklyn Bridge and back to Matt´s.

I had a quick nap and then taxied over to the West Side to meet Hannah and Shara for dinner at a swanky asian place called Spice Market.  This place had amazing decor and ambiance with equally shitty service.  But its the company that matters right? We had a nice dinner and then walked around until we settled down at a little outdoor table for some sangria in Greenwich Village.  It was great to have some cousin bonding time!

Day 3

After another night of bad sleep it was time for my final day in the US.  I met Hannah for lunch on the Upper West side at a really cool french place she picked out called Cafe Lalu, 83rd between Amsterdam and Broadway.  I highly recommend it.  Afterward we just hung out around midtown until her train to the beach arrived.

I toured Mid Town a little bit and then met Matt.  We packed up and began our journey by seeking food for the plane.  He suggested Katz´ Deli near Houston and 1st Ave, which I guess is famous...for being run by a loon.  He waited outside with our bags while I went in for food.  Joke was on me!  Trying to get food in this place was clearly some kind of sociology experiment.  I think the premise is that all the customers have to compete for the attentions of very slow moving sandwich makers.  But beware, not all  deli workers prepare the same food, so you might get nothing and have to start over.  I cannot  relate the trauma of having a little old lady dart in to steal my  shot  at pastrami  gold.

Eventually  I made it out with the meat. Taxi to  JFK. Checkin, beers at a sports bar in the terminal, flirtatious bartender.  We were practically the last people on the plane,  with gate attendant  crying ¨thank god you´re here!¨ as we arrived.

The flight was long and we didn´t sleep well ,  but  we landed in Buenos Aires this morning.   Sweeet.