Bangkok, Thailand

Big Adam on little furniture
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If one night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble, what does two nights make?  We arrived in Bangkok around noon, on the 25 of July. It's really different now. We've been there, done that, we know our way around. But, and definitely don't get me wrong, it's Bangkok, it's amazing!  We were so excited to be there.

The trip started off with a red-eye.  Departing SF around 1:30am early Tuesday morning. We arrived in Taipei for a 4 hour layover, at around 5:15am on Wednesday, (oh how I love time travel!). The airport was deserted, nobody was around, but we found something to do for the 4 hours; most of it involved the following: Laurie laying on train tracks, Adam as cartoon characters, (pictures to follow), and the worst coffee that we've ever had ... at a Taipei Airport Starbucks. Based upon what we foudn at the airport, the Taiwanese really loved Hennessey, Johnnie Walker, and all things Duty Free.

But the problem is, you can't stop walking. NEVER, stop walking.

At Suk 11
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Arriving in Bangkok around noon or so, maybe a little later, we shared a cab ride to Sukhumvit Rd, (where our hotel is), with a Kiwi couple that had just returned from Vietnam, (believe it or not!). We were getting really psyched to go to Vietnam at this point.  After checking into the hotel we were off.  Where, might you ask? We made a B-line to some tailors, because Adam is hooking himself up with a whole new wardrobe. That's right, tailor made slacks and shirts, many, many of them. We headed to Harry's Tailor shop where I had had a suit tailor made on the previous trip. Many of you know how fine Adam looks in that suit. But before we got there, it was critical for us to talk strategy. You have to decide bartering technique you see, you can't just go in there willy nilly, I mean, this is very important. See, Adam is not very good at bartering, Laurie's the pro. Adam just caves in, cause he's weak, so, we had to strategize.

So, we're walking to the tailor shop.  But the problem is, you can't stop walking. NEVER, stop walking. If you stop walking in the streets of Bangkok, a cacophy of "Hello, my friend," "Tuk Tuk," and "Where you going?" will bombard you.  You'll be absolutely assaulted.  Don't ever stop walking. If you do, it's over. They'll seige upon you. Then you'll have to seriously bring your "Mai ao khap khoon khap/kha," (No, thank you.).  But it doesn't matter, cause they're relentless. They want to help you. They need to help you. They will help you. So, we're walking down a crowded street, with shops and stalls everywhere, the skytrain above us, rain and flooded streets, horns honking, tuk tuks and motorcycles whizzing by, smog, and I don't know what else.  And you have to have this conversation while purposefully and forcefully walking along to your destination. We're trying to do all of our strategizing in the midst of a world of stimulation!

So, we had a strategy, but to implement it, somebody was going to have to get used. See, our plan involved going to another tailor, asking the price of various things, making sure not to lead him on too much, I mean, be very clear that we weren't going to be buying right now, but just ask prices. This would give us our baseline prices, something to go off of. We would now know what sort of prices to haggle around with.  We did this.  We felt a little dirty, and a little shameful, he was very nice man who desperately wanted to make a sale. But, hey, when you're making an omelette ...  Anyway, we were off to Harry's. Here's the bottom line, Adam is going to be coming home with 6 new pairs of tailored slacks of Thai silk or wool, 12 tailored shirts of Thai silk or cotton, and 11 new Thai silk ties. Ask Adam how much he paid, it'll blow you away, especially when you see how fine I am. I mean really, I look pretty darn fine. Now, much of this, is thanks to the brilliance and much appreciated bartering skills of one Laurie Terzo. Without her, Adam would've paid more than at Saks, but with her, he paid less than at Ross.  And not the good Ross, the ghetto ones.  You know the ones.

Our evening ended with dinner at an Indian restaurant near our hotel, which was yummy, (the restaurant, not the hotel that is), and drinks at Cheap Charlie's. Ah, Cheap Charlie's. Maybe more on Charlie's later.

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Laurie here now!  Yes, we arrived in Bangkok in all of its wonderful chaos. Sensory overload in every way. Bangkok has a smell to it, not all the way bad - something like a punjent herb, mixed with sweat, mixed with smog. The cab rides still make my knuckles a bit white, with huge potential accidents at every corner. At again ... no seat belts! We are a few days into our trip and now we remember the drill, don't even bother to look for the seatbelts, cause it ain't happenin'! Besides going to the tailors, we wandered the Chinatown streets of Bangkok, which were absolutely nuts. Tiny little lanes, I mean REALLY small, with a zillion trinket shops, with hordes of people and motorcyles, with deliveries of huge boxes precariously perched on the back of motorcycles, all trying to squeeze through with all of the shoppers. It was here where Adam and I played one of our favorite Asia games. It usually involves a comically small piece of furniture, fit for either a Barbie doll or a Asia person of average size, that are for people to sit on - that is for small Asian people mind you. As we are walking I clearly identify a potential target, and motion over for Adam. He knows the game, and dutifully takes a seat, striking a pose. As I laugh hysterically at how big he is on the small little chair, I snap pictures, much to the locals' delight. He comments how he feels a little like Chris Farley doing the "Fat guy in a little jacket" routine.  This, of course, makes me laugh even harder. Our other Asia game, we call it "Where's Adam?"  We send Adam into a crowd of tiny Asians, where he towers above them, clearly identifiable, sticking out like a soar thumb.  We then snap pictures relentlessly, so that others in the future can look at the pictures, and be challenged to find Adam.

We are now in Hanoi, after many failed attempts, I finally made it across the street, after many hours.  Anybody that has been to Hanoi will understand what I mean. At one point, Adam crossed the street successfully, all the while thinking that I was right behind him.  I had started out strong, having him to the left of me, acting as a buffer for the oncoming traffic. But, as I looked at the literally hundreds of motorcycles, vans, buses, and cars zooming and zig-zagging toward me, I hesitated, almost got hit, and then chickened out and retreated. Never hesitate. You'll die if you hesitate. You have to own it. You have to be confident and just go. If you hesitate, you die. Hanoi's traffic is crazy. I know that I've said it before about every other city that we've been to in Asia, but seriously, this traffic is CRAZY!  And, yes, I did finally make it across the street, after many failed attempts.  It was so exhilirating that Adam and I seriously considered just crossing the street over and over for the rest of the evening.

Now, there are some more stories from Bangkok, and certainly more from Hanoi, so stay tuned ...