Trouble in Paradise

If my last blog was called "Paradise Lost and Found," this one can most assuredly be labeled as "Trouble in Paradise." It all started with a motorbike and a passport (as most good travel stories do, of course). We were in Koh Tao and went to return our motorbike to the seemingly nice Thai man that had rented it to us. Unfortunately, he had seen us immediately crash the contraption when we initially rented it, although no damage had been done and the passengers (myself and my husband) were fine, if shaken. This man decided to use this prior knowledge to his advantage and began telling us we owed him all manner of baht (Thai money) to "fix" the bike, which was in perfectly good repair except for maybe a couple scratches and a tire problem that we were more than willing to pay a bit of money for. In order to rent a bike, you have to use a passport as collateral and I began to feel a bit nervous that this sheister had my most precious document in a fanny pack nearby and would not give it to me until we met what began to seem like his ridiculous demands. So, throwing all prospects of good international relations aside, I used my infamously sticky fingers to procure my passport, which peeked innocently from the fanny pack, that dark blue leather with the lovely gold lettering glittering in the sunlight. I mumbled to Z (my husband) that we were in possession and should give him a bit of money, a fair price if you will, and then hightail it out of there. However, we agreed with him that we would go put air in the flattish tire and so we sped off, I realizing only too late that we had the bike AND the collateral, which was not my intention (for what would I do with a motorbike on an island in Thailand other than fear for my life?). We decided to turn back around, which we did and on our way back, the Thai man was speeding in the other direction, absolutely livid , his eyes flashing and every muscle in his body tensed. "Man, Man, you come here. Give passport, NOW!" He yelled at us as we continued on our way back, attempting to placate him at 25 mph. We reached the little rental area, where two female tourists were waiting, one of them Thai. We got off the bike and were bombarded with demands from the rental guy, yelling and screaming for my passport, which request I was obliged to refuse, given that at this point, I may never see the beloved thing again. He started saying we had to give him thousands of baht and backed up his demands with his fists, which he threw at Z twice. The man was slight, but he appeared to think justice was on his side, and so we began to be a bit afraid. I'd never seen a fight before and I wasn't hankering to see one starring my husband and an out of control Thai man, who may or may not be a Thai boxer in his free time. We tried placating him as best we could, nearly laughing at his foolishness and inability to understand that we didn't want to steal his damn bike and that we intended to pay him a fair price for an damages we had actually incurred. Things got to a new level of strange when he began brandishing a steak knife, as if he were auditioning for "West Side Story." I felt pretty confident that we could take him, but my confidence waned when he made for the back of his truck. I wasn't sure what was back there, but if it was more dangerous than a kitchen knife, I didn't want any part of it. We paid him the money...not what he was asking, though my husband was willing to give it to him. I just couldn't part so easily with our money and was enraged that this fool of a man was putting us in this position. I bargained, he threw the kitchen knife, Z tried his hand at the kind of diplomacy Bill Clinton would have been proud of. In the end we got out of there, but our paranoia overtook us. He knew what resort we were at...he may be an enraged local who hates farangs (foreigners)...he could be a member of Al Quida ...We left our paradise the next day looking over our shoulders. We breathed a sigh of relief once we made it on th e boat to Koh Pha - Ngan , the infamous Full Moon Party that we intended to avoid just a few days away and on this very island. We left behind the serenity of Freedom Beach in Koh Tao and decided to embrace the chaos of the young and free. Our pockets were lighter and our hearts a bit heavy, but the decision ended up being a good one...as you will find out in a future blog!

I bargained, he threw the kitchen knife