Las Vegas

Der-dum, der-dum, dum dum dum dum......
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The journey from the Grand Canyon was a boring 5 hours as the spectacular scenery of the last 2 weeks dried up and we spent our time on the freeway with nothing to look at except desert. Hoover Dam hardly broke the monotony, a National Monument maybe, but in reality it is just a big wall with fat americans peering over.

Anyway, with Elvis belting out ‘Viva Las Vegas’ as we approached the weirdly shaped city in front of us the last few miles weren’t so bad and we reached the Golden Nugget Hotel. The Nugget is off the main strip these days, about a ten minute drive from the ‘new’ strip where all the mega-hotels congregate, so we all got a very good deal on our rooms, but is still glorious in its brightly lit brashness. Charlie and Elodie once again got an upgrade, as they had on the way to Bluff, this time a suite instead of the penthouse they got last time. Being slightly harder on the eye (and nose) after a couple of months on the road now, no upgrade was forthcoming to us, but our room was still modern and comfortable (at least until we had finished with it!).

You gotta know when to hold 'em...

Just one Cornetto.......
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Lunch in one of the Nugget’s five restaurants was not good though and Elodie who became our official ‘negative feedback representative’ (ie complainer) for the trip once again used her skills, as she had done to earn both upgrades, to get the manager to halve the bill.

Straight down to the pool after lunch, one of the hotel’s selling points. The vast hot tub first to check out the scene. Being autumn now, there were few people in the pool area and those that braved the 70 degree (!) heat were in the hot tub. Americans in a hot tub are like icebergs! Looking only slightly jowly from the neck up you don’t at first realise that 99% of their bodies lurk beneath the surface, but once they start to heave themselves out of the bobbling water, it’s like Godzilla emerging from the sea to attack Japan! After 3 or 4 monsters had left the tub we were only left with a small puddle of water to relax in so we headed for the shark tank. Yes, in the middle of the pool is a large aquarium both under and above the pools surface containing all manner of wonderful tropical fish and a selection of deadly killing machines, but thankfully the glass separating us from them was thick enough to withstand another pounding from Archie (see the CN Tower entry). This not being quite enough to be an attraction for Vegas’ high standards the Nugget has put a transparent water slide straight through the middle of it and, despite a near drowning and two head-bumping incidents, this kept all of us entertained until dinner time.

Caught on camera! The hot tub at the Bellagio goes crazy!
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The hotel’s noodle bar, Lillies, looked too expensive at we studied the menu later, and as we did we were collared by a couple of men at a desk next to the restaurant. Offering us a ‘free lunch’ and $150 per couple, all we had to was turn up the next day, be driven just outside the city to where we could view the Nugget’s new development, eat and then be driven back. Not being completely stupid we twigged a hard sell timeshare racket straight away.....and signed up!

Over dinner at a lovely Italian restaurant at the Venetian hotel that evening where we dined on chicken, black pudding and beef cheeks (not on the same plates) we discussed our strategy for the following day. Research on the internet confirmed it was a timeshare sale but if we got through the presentation we would indeed get the gift at the end. Despite it being Elodie’s birthday the next day we decided to go for it.

After dinner, the girls and (young) boys went back to the hotel leaving the older boys out to play for the evening. Looking for a cheap game of blackjack we wandered from hotel to hotel becoming more and more fed up. Last time I was in Vegas was 15 years ago and little has changed, they make it as difficult as they can for you to get around to the point where you, exhausted, give up, sit at a slot machine/gaming table and lose all your money. Casinos today are still difficult to escape from, monorails between hotels are slow and to cross a road requires the tracking skills of a bushman and the endurance of a sherpa. After an hour or so we finally settled on Bill’s casino (a little one between two big ones!) and sat down to play. Three hours we played for and enjoyed every minute. Players are brought free drinks as they play, and at Bill’s are given bright necklaces (to the cheers of “Beeeeeeads”) every time a ‘21’ is achieved and certainly at the low stake tables where we were the atmosphere is very relaxed where advice is allowed between players and even between player and dealer. Of course most players lose but luck, and relative sobriety, was on our side and we walked out with enough winnings to pay for dinner.

We fueled ourselves for the day’s activities with a visit to the buffet breakfast, where we tried to outdo each other with the most outlandish breakfast. Early attempts of bacon, pancakes, fruit and waffles were beaten by ice cream and cakes, which were in turn trounced by sushi and chicken fried steak (hamburger fried in a KFC coating containing enough fat to choke a donkey!).

At noon a huge stretch Hummer-type bus took us to the timeshare presentation. Having been told the day before that to earn the $150 per couple the Bates’ would have to pretend not to know the Home’s we sat apart and only exchanged the occasional look of trepidation for fear of being rumbled as ‘a group’ and halving our earnings. The presentation went exactly as we expected. Divided up into couples we were allocated a rep (ours being an evil Bill Cosby look-a-like with the voice of Hong Kong Phooey/guy out of the Shining) who, during our lunch of sandwiches, spent an hour explaining the benefits of their development, and then a further hour showing us around the complex. Of course the only couple we bumped into during the tour would have to be Charlie and Elodie wouldn’t it and we had to pretend not to know them as we were all led from room to room. Returning to the offices we declined their offer of one week timeshare for $36k and then spent a further hour meeting various bosses (not Mafia ones) who improved the offer time and again. Every time you thought it was over, another person of higher authority would be summoned and the price would drop. Of course we had prepared ourselves for this and merrily sat back, explaining why the deal was not right for us but thank-you anyway. Watching them get more desperate, we began to enjoy ourselves until we were finally shown the door to freedom the final offer of $4k for 4 weeks forever (!) ringing in our ears, meeting the others outside who were also grinning and holding their $150. We got the bus to drop us off at the strip where we looked around at the huge themed hotels and as dark fell watched the fountains at the Bellagio, the gondolas at the Venetian and the hoards of people handing out leaflets for escorts and massage parlours who lined every street.

Back at the Nugget we celebrated our success of the day, and Elodie’s birthday, with a truly wonderful slap-up meal at Lillies, money no object, of course, and after an early night and long lie in had plenty of time share money left for brunch (steaks all round, of course!).

We’d had 2 nights in Vegas and of the meals we ate here, half of one was ‘comped’, one was paid for in winnings, one was free and two were paid for by our time share ‘wages’. All of which helped our rapidly diminishing budget. Most people who come to Vegas are in the same boat as us (apart from a handful of high-rollers who have nothing to do but gamble their million for tax breaks) and shouldn’t really be there at all. In the large part they are chancers, flocking in their millions, trailer trash dressed in their sunday best, in the hope that they will take away more than they bring. And just like Vegas itself their polished yet tacky exteriors fail to camouflage the reality. You can’t blame them, or the city, though. Both do win big but the cities victories outnumber the highly publicised punter’s victories 1000 to 1. There is no doubt though that most people do have a good time there, win or lose - the city is very good at making sure of that. We came with very low expectations and each of us (because we kept our heads screwed on and played a good game) had a far more productive time than expected. We’d hardly spent a penny and had a great time, as our waistline now proves.

Joining the rest of the icebergs in the hot tub we had one last dip before heading to Santa Monica.