Golden teeth. Spanish Dentist. Wolf Apprentice.

the spanish dentist, running.
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Damnit i was hungry.

But the historic boom-town city of Fairbanks was a thin and wheezing old man rocking slowly backwards and forwards in a creaking chair. His house was empty, his cupboards bear. When he was younger he was gifted with a lovely set of golden teeth. "Aren't they lovely?" people said, and indeed, they were. But alack, in a foolish act to better show their omnipotent loveliness, Fairbanks extracted his golden teeth with modern tools and put them on display. It was fine for a while but this prank, like the man, became old with time- if he does not use his golden teeth to eat something soon he'll die oh me oh my.

David Attenborough did it so it had to be right...

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And that is why I could not find any food in the cold turkey concrete savannah town.

Just the sound of cobwebs and death looming as a woman melting with age plucked a broken harp with arthritic fingers. Enough. I ran back to my motel-box and slept fearfully holding the TV ariel for protection against this toothless monster of a City.

Next morning, on a bus getting the hell out of Fairbanks, in a quite hillariously tragic shot of irony on the rocks with a twist, i sat next to a retired spanish dentist. 'Chhhhallo. My nahmi is ChhhooorChhheeee.' Jorge was also on the steam powered train oddessy the day before, probably just in case anyone fell over and hurt their teeth. Wisley, he had also chosen to get the hell out of Fairbanks. So, it seemed, had the entire population of Fairbanks. All twelve seats on the mini bus were taken.

go.
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In the dagger-stab cold of morning, we rolled.

The road unwound a ball of tarmac string. Little truck-stop towns were nought but fleas embedded in the bristling white fur of this giant wilderness.

The journey became long nothingness intersected with interestingness. The mighty George Bush owned mountains of Alaska gradually waving goodbye as the politically pacifist peaks of Canada shuffled into view.

American Customs: 'Step out of the car sir and take off your jacket so you get very cold and do a little dance and sing "the stars and stripes" to the tune of "Bad Boys" to make us feel like real American heroes.'

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Canadian Customs: 'Hey there buddy, welcome to Canada eh. Go right through. You're English? Right on buddy that's what it's all AbOOt, here, have some maple syrup.'

Freindly bunch.

Our driver was a national geographisist on the side so steered the bus into ditches whenever he saw a duck. He took photos and pointed out minor things to us like the northern lights.

To get with the nature vibe- i decided to try out a trick I had seen on the Discovery Channel once. David Attenborough did it so it had to be right.

I got out of the bus by some woods at night and howled like a wolf for two minutes or so then waited for the inevitable reply. Nothing happened. Later- i deduced it was because they felt threatened by my sheer animal presence and that i was well 'ard.

The Spanish dentist sent me an email the other day:

From: Jorge Bonilla [jorgeibonilla@gmail.com]

To: chazhey@tiscali.co.uk

Cc:

Sent: [29/04/2007 6:07 ] 29/04/2007 6:07 Subject: Hello. Charlie-Wolf

Hello Charlie, the wolf apprentice

I hope that you have had luck to arrive at Skagway.

 Today I have gone almost all the day in the PC renewing my blog and chating with friendly of Spain.

For my to meet you was a pleasure because finally i undestand to which it spoke English. You howl like a shit.

Thank you very much beforehand. Jorge 

Well said mate.