How to Scale a Cactus

The border wasn’t far from the town of Hermisillo. A quick bus ride and we joined the long queue to gain entry into the USA. Things had changed remarkably in the aftermath of 11 September, 2001, understandably so. The Americans were a bit paranoid about who they let cross their borders so the wait was long. After being quizzed on why we wanted to visit America and how long we intended to stay, we were finally granted permission to enter the First World. A few Mexicans weren’t so lucky.

Crossing the border was like crossing through a time warp. Everything seemed cleaner, fresher and familiar. The first glimpse of a McDonald’s sign always gets a smile. And I don’t even like McDonalds that much. There is just something comforting in knowing full well what to expect when you walk through those doors.

I wisely decided she wasn’t worth the pain and scampered off to bed

The greyhound bus to Tuscon was our port of call, though we weren’t sure whether to stay or continue to Las Vegas. Upon reaching the Arizona city we had decided to stay a night and soak up some US atmosphere. Not far from the bus station we found a charming old house decked out to be a hostel. The owner was friendly enough and the few guests we met seemed good fun.

It was still early in the day so we set off to explore. The town is nice enough, a university town if all the young people are to be believed. We got our fill of food and ended up in a sports bar. I do not like tipping at all, it is very confusing, and why should you tip after every beer has been served. One dollar for a barmaid to twist off a bottle top? What a joke! A few hours later we staggered back to the hostel and discovered a party had begun in our absence. After a few drinks we hit the bars again, this time with a Cuban, an American and a Northern Irish girl. It was one of the most drunkard nights I have ever had and it culminated with us back at the hostel. I ended up out in the back yard garden with the Irish lass. This garden was beautiful and contained some very large and dangerous looking cacti. Strangely enough the Irish girl promised she would reward me (!) if I took up her dare and scaled the tallest cactus. I wasn’t exactly in the right frame of mind and thought about the dare for a fair few minutes, but after taking a few glances from the cactus to the girl and back to the cactus, I wisely decided she wasn’t worth the pain and scampered off to bed.

Morning brought with it the brightest sunlight the world had ever seen! Pain shot through my eyes and bored right into my skull. Somehow I managed to gather my things and checking out before anyone else rose from their slumber we found our way to the bus stop and bought tickets to Vegas.