The Wynn/Encore End

This morning, we outwitted the bakery and went downstairs to get chocolate chip muffins before they were sold out. Our efforts were rewarded with mountainous muffins, which we brought upstairs and ate like raccoons going through trash. Mmmmm! I showered first, and then while Melissa got ready, I looked through our guidebook and coupon books for possible activities for the day. We came up with a list of things we could check out and then headed out to see whether any concierge could recommend an afternoon comedy or magic show. The line for the Paris concierge was long, so we walked next door to Bally's to ask their concierge for suggestions. It was Sunday, so many of the activities were dark. The super nice concierge gave us a great laugh by suggesting we see "Miss Meg's Find Your Sexy," a show that the three of us thought sounded ridiculous. Apparently right before we got to the desk, another woman had come to the same concierge specifically requesting the Miss Meg show, going so far as to ask for it by name. She couldn't really figure out what the show entailed, but apparently it involves "motivational speaking," "inspiration," "confidence-building," and "self-help." Wow! Since Melissa and I both have excellent self-esteem, and neither of us has trouble finding our "sexy" (especially in Vegas!...seriously, who needs help with this?), we thanked the concierge and headed off to the Venetian.

The Venetian is just fantastic. Obviously, the theme is Venice, so there is a tiled palazzo out in front and a replica of the Grand Canal inside. The whole place smells like honeysuckle, and there are beautiful blue skies painted on the ceiling. We'd decided to come here because they have gondolas that take you for a ride through the resort. We only had to wait a few minutes before we hopped into a gondola with a couple from Boston and were chauffeured through the blue canal by Elisa, our fantastic gondolier from Torino. She told us about the hotel (apparently, the owner built it for his wife, who loves the real Venice) and gave us pennies to throw in the canal to make a wish. She also sang us a beautiful Italian love song and got us to sing along with her to "That's Amore." Not to shock anyone, but the couple in our boat with us were a little less into it than we were. In fact, they were completely emotionless throughout the ride. Hmmm! Elisa asked us which shows we were seeing, so we told her about Jay Leno and said we were seeing Cirque du Soleil that night, and we all compared stories about the different Cirque shows. The other couple in the boat were not seeing any shows. No shows! We were wondering what they were doing in Vegas, since clearly they are not hardcore gamblers or else they would not have been on the gondola with us. Oh well! Different strokes, and all that. We really enjoyed the gondola ride, and it was something Melissa had not done before, so that made it better that we could both enjoy it for the first time.

I had a funny feeling that this would not be my last encounter with the baby...and we all know I have an excellent sense of foreshadowing.

After our gondola ride, we decided to relax a bit at one of the bars in the Venetian. We found a quiet spot that was showing the football (it starts at 10am out here -- awesome!) and ordered drinks. Melissa had her favorite, a bloody Mary, but I tried a drink that I read about the other week in one of my friend Allie's books, a clover club. I read that the drink has become almost extinct, but I don't know why that would be. It has gin and raspberry and peach schnapps, and the bartender made it a fizz by topping it with prosecco. We watched the game, chatted, and enjoyed the drinks. They were so good, in fact, that we ordered another round, which was an excellent idea because our next activity includes mandatory silliness.

The last attraction at the Venetian that we were interested in checking out was Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum, which we had both visited before (Melissa in Vegas and me in London, lots of times) but knew would be a great time. The museum did not disappoint. Aided by our gentle buzz, we got some great photos with Brad and Angelina, Mick Jagger, Marlon Brando, Stevie Wonder, Simon Cowell, Bruce Springsteen, the Kennedys, George W, and of course Elvis (both young and old Elvis, before you ask). The wax museum is always, always a good use of time. I declared the Venetian a favorite hotel, tied with the Mandalay.

After our great time at the Venetian, we walked outside toward the new Fashion Show mall, which is across the street from the Wynn, and wondered why there are no daytime dance clubs in Vegas. We both love to dance, but neither of us is good at staying up late. If there were a dance club open at 2:30pm, we would be there!...in the absence of that, we decided just to make our own sidewalk dance party as we bopped down toward the Wynn. We visited the mall, but honestly, I can't believe there is demand for malls on the Strip. Every hotel has a mall inside! We window shopped at the Fashion Show until it was time to cross the street to the Wynn, where we planned to have an early dinner again. We were really early, so we decided to explore the Wynn a little bit before dinner. This casino is based on a Picasso painting that the owner loves, and the whole thing really feels like the inside of a dream. There are really interesting colors on the walls and rugs on the floors, and the light fixtures look like ones you would see in a bedroom. I really liked the Wynn -- in fact, it is a three-way tie for favorite with the Mandalay and the Venetian. It is incredibly pretty and relaxing, and it smells like flowers. Beautiful! While we waited, Melissa decided to hit the quarter slots, where she won $27. Fun! We collected her winnings and headed to The Buffet.

The Wynn dinner buffet doesn't start until 3:30, and we were about 10 minutes early. We were incredibly hungry, though, since we hadn't had lunch again, so we decided to go ahead and get in line so we would be first when the buffet switched over from brunch to dinner. We must have looked like we needed help, because a friendly Wynn hostess told us that we could go ahead and pay for the brunch ($5 less than the dinner) and just go ahead in and wait for dinner to start. Thanks, Wynn lady! We got a good spot right by the crab legs and waited for them to replace the pancakes with dinner stuff. You guys, the buffet at the Bellagio was good, but I tell you, The Buffet at the Wynn is even better. Everything was absolutely delicious: crab legs and shrimp, of course, but also pumpkin gnocchi, marinated mushrooms, Sicilian pizza, lots of different fish in good sauces, spring rolls, shrimp dumplings, mashed potatoes, all of the good stuff. We ate way too much again, and once again, I refuse to apologize for it. For dessert, there were tiny cupcakes, key lime tarts, little pumpkin pies, cookies, carrot cake, pear mousse, and chocolate brownies. They also had gelato, but we were both way too full to have any. Man, it was delicious. Actually, it was transcendent.

After our delicious encounter with The Buffet, we walked back toward the Paris. On the way, we stopped to watch the beautiful fountain show at the Bellagio, which is always a great thing to see. We watched the show for a romantic piano song and then caught the fountains playing their signature "Time To Say Goodbye," which is one of my mom's favorites. Hi Mom! After the fountains, we went across the street to the Paris to change for Mystere, the Cirque du Soleil show we had tickets for that night. Time was short, and we had to hurry a bit to get to the taxi stand on time to go all the way back down to Treasure Island for the show.

There are a lot of CdS shows in Vegas, and Melissa has seen almost all of them, but this was her first time seeing Mystere. In case you have never seen a CdS show, they have lots of modern dance and amazing acrobatics set to unusual music, and the performers wear spectacular costumes and do all sorts of impossible moves. I had never seen one before, which is surprising because I love music and I love watching amazing athletic feats and I love weird stuff, so I knew I would like it before I went. Once again, our early planning had paid off, because our seats were front row, center -- row A, seats 3 and 4. Wow! A few minutes before the show started, one of the performers, an old man with crazy white hair sticking up on end, came out into the audience and started messing with everyone -- leading people to the wrong seats and making the people who were already sitting there get up and move, balancing popcorn tubs on people's heads, tearing a woman's tickets into pieces. He was so silly.

The show started right on time at 7:00, with a big huge guy in a diaper and baby bonnet coming onto the stage with a big orange ball. He was playing with the ball, bouncing it, and then he lost control of it and it rolled across the stage to come to rest right in front of our seats. He started to cry, and I like to help, so I got up and rolled his ball back to him. You guys, this was my second mistake (the first being accepting the seats in row A back in August). The baby decided that I must be his mother, and he started calling me "Mama!" and gestured for me to come give him a hug. The audience cheered for me to do it, so I went up on the stage and walked right into his trap. He squirted me with water from his baby bottle and laughed like crazy as I left the stage and was given some napkins to dry myself off. I had a funny feeling that this would not be my last encounter with the baby...and we all know I have an excellent sense of foreshadowing.

The show began, and what a show it was. Seriously, the athleticism of these people is beyond belief. One guy balanced on one hand on another guy's head. A bunch of people climbed up poles and tumbled around on them. A whole flock of odd guys bounced around on seesaws and trampolines, and at one point twelve performers were way above the stage above a net, tumbling around on trapezes and flying through the air, doing impossible things. I tell you, it was amazing. Of course, there was no story because this is Cirque du Soleil, but it was incredibly enjoyable. At one point the baby came back out of a door at the very top of the stage, crawling out on a ledge and messing around with his baby bottle, and of course he pulled out a flashlight and used it to search the crowd for me. I laughed and blew him a kiss from the front row. I like to participate.

The crazy old man from before the show also came out during the show -- he went through the crowd and pulled out a guy who was there with his date and took him onstage, where he proceeded to lock him in a box and then go back into the audience and sit with this poor guy's date, offering her "wine" and making the woman in the row in front of them hold up a flickering candle to set the mood. Eventually the old man got up and pulled a guy from the front row who was also there with a date into the seat next to the girl, and then the stage rotated so we could all see the guy locked in the box, behind bars, with a little piece of bread, coming around to see his girlfriend sitting with another guy. It was pretty awesome.

The acrobatics started back up, and who should show up onstage but my long-lost son, driving around the stage in a golf cart. He came out into the audience on the cart and stopped right at the steps to my row. He shone his flashlight down the steps and yelled, "MAMA!!!!" I was nervous about getting shot with water again, but I decided to accept the invitation and went up the stairs and got in the golf cart. He took off like a bat out of hell and we zoomed off. I found myself backstage, surrounded by stagehands who insisted that I don a large diaper and baby bonnet myself, then get back on the cart with the baby and ride around the stage with him. It was hilarious because the baby-man was speaking in goo goo talk when he was onstage, but as soon as we were backstage, he turned on this really gruff deep normal voice: "Put on the seatbelt, please." Awesome! I love inconsistency. I grabbed the side of the cart and we were off, flying around the stage. The lights were really bright so I couldn't see anyone, but I knew that Melissa was out there somewhere, laughing her ass off at me. We ended up on the opposite side of the stage, where I was pulled off the cart and found myself face-to-face with about 10 perfectly formed guys, all wearing incredibly tight outfits. Because I am friendly, I busted out a smile at them and said hi, but the stage manager told me to ignore them -- "They're on furlough" -- and instructed me to run behind the golf cart, pushing it as the baby drove it slowly. So I did! After we made it across the stage again, the backstage crew grabbed me and helped me get the costume off. I shook hands with the baby-man (He said, simply, "Madamoiselle." Ha!) and was chaperoned back out to the audience. When I finally got back to my seat, Melissa was literally in tears from laughing at my dumb ass up on stage wearing this baby garb. We lost it for a few minutes and then bam! One of the stagehands was at my seat with a photo from the show of me with the baby and a note that it would be on Facebook. I was supposed to call a number if I didn't want it up there, but seriously?! Who would say no to that?

The show ended with an incredibly trippy inflatable 20-foot snail running around the stage, and then the cast took a bow and we all clapped and laughed about the whole situation. Melissa and I were energized from the show (I wonder why!) so we passed by the long cab line at Treasure Island and walked back to the Paris. On our way back, we saw our old friend the stinky transvestite crack whore, this time wearing a white gown, but still yelling at everyone. I like when things come full circle. At the Paris, we found a quiet bar with some empty stools, got some goodbye-to-Vegas drinks, and talked about what a terrific weekend we'd had. We packed up our stuff and watched some House reruns, then fell asleep. Another fantastic day!