Last Stop-Lima

Do I look like I'm about to hurl?
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Lima, Peru

(or `The tale of the porcelain alter at the Ancient Church of San Francisco.')

Honk if you're Peruvian

Lima is much nicer than everyone told us. They said it was big and dirty and dangerous. They said you could never go out at night and that you could never leave your hotel's neighborhood.

The San Fransiscan Church of the Poreclain Alter (San Francisco de Asis Church)
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We have found a beautiful Bed & Breakfast, just opened in January only a few blocks from the resort district of Miraflores, one of Lima's nicer municipalities. Lima has 47 municipalities within its borders, which brings some order to this sprawling city of over 9 million. Miraflores is situated right on the Pacific coast atop of a bluff that overlooks wide sand and pebble beaches. The beaches are popular with surfers and feature courts for basketball and other sports. The sun is very hot here, and para-sailers ride the warm winds up the bluff, staying aloft for hours at a time.

Honking Buses
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There is a mall built into the cliff-side just under the Marriot hotel; with multi-level decks overlooking the beaches, filled with restaurants like Tony Roma's, Starbucks and other American chains.

We were only supposed to spend a night in Lima and then head off to Cuzco and Machu Picchu, but Jean Yves started to feel ill, and had a fever so we decided to stay at the B & B rather than risking illness on the flights and in the high altitudes of Cuzco. We will have to visit again, as Machu Picchu was one of the main reasons for our visit.

The Mansion San Antonio- our B and B
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Luckily, Kyle, the owner of the B & B has been very accommodating and has introduced us to many of his friends. The B & B is in an old house that has been updated and is spotless, secure and has a beautiful swimming pool and deck area.

One of Kyle’s friends, Tino is a registered tour guide who speaks five languages and was happy to take us on a city tour yesterday afternoon, and may take us to see some Incan pyramids on Monday.

Unfortunately, our tour was interrupted at the spectacular Iglesia San Francisco, one of Lima's oldest surviving structures, and an extension of the evil Vatican City in Rome. It turns out that the food poisoning Jean Yves was experiencing may have been a flu or bug of some kind, and I managed to catch it too. While there may be something evil about throwing up in an ancient church's bathroom, I was just happy and relieved to have left my lunch there.

The pool at the Mansion San Antonio
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We grabbed a cab and raced back to the B & B so I could cloister myself away in my room and try to recover.

The worst of it seems to have passed, and today we are planning a trip to an Artisans Market to see if we can find any interesting souvenirs.

The taxis in Lima are worth mentioning because they are so different than any of the other cities we have visited. 70% of the vehicles on the roads are cabs, 20% are buses and another 10% are private vehicles. In Lima, anyone can be a taxi; it seems that all you need to do is slap some reflective stickers on your bumper & you are qualified. There are no meters or radios, and they drive shoulder-to-shoulder like in Buenos Aires, but without the graceful coordination. The cabs here are all about push and shove. Shock absorbers are just a dream, and most of the cars are rickety with tape holding the doors together. You 'negotiate' a fare before you get in...basically you tell them what you are willing to pay, and if they don't agree, you move on to the next driver.

The Pacific Ocean off Miraflores
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If you visit Lima, bring your ear-plugs. The cabs and buses have an obsession with their horns. The streets are alive with noise. Buses here are private too... They post their routes on the front window and stop wherever they are waved down. They compete for your business by waving you aboard and honking at you. I'm not sure why, but it seems that they think the more they honk, the more likely it is that you will need a ride. The honking is incessant.

Taxis honk for a million reasons: there's the "do you want a ride" honk and the "are you sure you don't want a ride" honk and the "I'm coming thru this intersection" honk and the "the light is green" honk and the "don't get in my way" honk and the "bring me a bottle of water" honk for the street corner merchants and the "I'm merging left or right" honk and the "everyone else is honking" honk and the "you're not moving fast enough" honk and at least a dozen other varieties. And if they are not honking on the block you are in, they will be honking in the next block.

Typical architecture
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Many taxis have multiple horns, so they can honk different tunes. Don't forget that the buses also honk, so the streets are a noisy symphony. There are also hundreds of cops on the streets, and they all have whistles. And the city is plagued by ice cream vendors on rickety bikes, and of course they have these special whistles that they blow all day long.

Kyle also owns a Karaoke bar in town that he took us to on Wednesday night. It as a small bar in a renovated house, and was busy tonight with a karaoke contest. His staff were excellent, welcoming, friendly and attentive, and Kyle is a networker... He introduced us to many of his friends and staff, and had invited managers from other bars to be the judges in the contest. We sipped pisco sours and listened to Spanish Karaoke and generally enjoyed the absurdity of the situation.

The cliff-side mall
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yesterday was mostly spent recovering from our sudden illness, but we did venture out to an Artisan market to look for souvenirs and gifts. there were Alpacan hats and woven Peruvian toques and silver and gems and polished shells and ceramic dolphins. but after the 20th shop, all selling exactly the same designs (likely from the same manufacturer) we were disillusioned and disappointed, and left empty handed. Thankfully there was a Fabella department store across the street with a new shipment of funky jeans for about $30CDN, so we were able to fulfill our shopping urges.

We will try to plan a day trip on Monday to see some ruins, and may have better luck finding real artisan crafts there.

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The Lima Metropolis ranks among Latin America's largest urban concentrations, with a population of 8,866,160 in city and over 9 million in metro (2005 census), which features a very complex mix of racial and ethnic groups. Traditionally, Mestizos, Peruvians of mixed Spanish and Amerindian descent, have been the largest contingent, making up much of the middle class. However, political and economic instability during the latter half of the twentieth century created unprecedented poverty and violence in the Andean highlands, forcing hundreds of thousands of campesinos of full-blooded Amerindian descent to migrate to Lima, thus greatly augmenting the Lima's population. Unlike other ethnic groups, many of them speak primarily Quechua or Aymara, rather than Spanish. While a number of Amerindians eventually attain middle class status, others still live in shantytowns, locally known as pueblos jóvenes. These areas often lack such basic services as electricity and running water.

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We are looking forward to ice cold and delicious tap water, the Simpson’s in English, Stanley Park, quiet streets, the seawall, my bike, clean fresh air, a selection of spotless restaurants, oatmeal in the morning, the gym, and yoga.

We will miss fresh fruit on every corner, rich coffee with full coffee service, daily sunshine and tropical temperatures, spectacular beaches, palm trees, coconuts, grand boulevards and much more.