Can somebody tell me where I am?

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Arriving in Venice, I had the option of buying a map for €4.50. The thought process goes something like this... "What is this??? Switzerland!?! Where's my view of mountains??? I don't need a map. I'll just walk in a straight line and find my hostel in an hour and a half before it closes. No problem!!!"

The above is an example of what not to think when arriving in Venice. You will get screwed - trust me. And by the time that you neck deep in Venice and realized you actually do need that map, you can't find your way back to the train station if your life depended on it. The thought process then continues with something like, "oh shit...".

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Luckily, there are other tourists, who not more than a few hours ago were in the exact same position you are currently in, and basically hold your hand as they lead you over countless bridges and through narrow alleyways to the front door of your hostel, 5 min before the reception closes. Thank you British tourist!!!

Venice is an amazing city!! But you don't go there to see things. You go there to get lost, and if you happen to stumble across what you were hoping to see, well then it's your lucky day. I can't tell you how many times the thought of, "if I could only jump across this river, I could make it to where I want to go," crossed my mind. But it really was quite the experience.

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If I had a few suggestions for Venice city council, they are as follows. 1.) Equip every tourist with a GPS unit. 2.) Provide express lanes for tourists who are late for their hostel, or train (some of us never learn...), because getting stuck behind a bunch of people oodling over some dinky origami is worse than rush hour in Toronto, and 3.) Venice is the most inaccessible city in the world. I saw one person in a wheel chair and I don't know how they got around. So many bridges and so many stairs... So for those people, in addition to GPS, they also need a helicopter.