Buried With a Donkey, He’s My Favorite Honky

Horseback riding
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By Dan

You knew that we couldn’t go all the way through Egypt and not title one of our entries from Steve Martin’s song, right? Dear readers born too late to enjoy Saturday Night Live in its heyday, well, I’m sorry. . . .!

What a culture shock to arrive in Luxor after our days in the desert. From an extremely sleepy life, few tourists, and endless miles and hours of land without a tree, building, or person in sight, we suddenly hit what feels like a different planet. Because huge tourist attractions such as the Valley of the Kings and the Temple of Karnak are here, Luxor has an enormous tourist population, especially in proportion to the local population. The good news is that there is an enormous focus on making tourists happy, meaning the hotels are well run, the restaurants are clean and have very recognizable foods, the shops have the things we’re looking for, and folks speak English well. The bad news is that one is constantly bombarded by offers of felucca rides, taxis, tours, shoe shines, t-shirts, carriage rides, etc. Our guidebook notes, “For all of its long experience with tourists, the town of Luxor has the dubious distinction of being the hassle capital of Egypt. . . .” Since Egypt might be the hassle capital of the world, that’s really saying something.

Valley of the Kings
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Nevertheless, we were delighted to arrive, and find our hotel, the Hotel St. Joseph, to be spotlessly clean, offering free wi-fi, selling cold beer, and very reasonably priced. The views from our balconies over the Nile towards the West Bank weren’t bad, either. We had loved our time in the desert, but good showers with water that didn’t smell like sulphur and vistas that weren’t a monochrome brown were welcome changes. Quickly, we settled in.

Grayson is making darned sure that he absorbs as much of Egypt as he can, so while his sister begged off, he and I made a trip to the Luxor Museum on our first day. One can easily get jaded, after seeing so much spectacular stuff in this country, but we managed to maintain a high level of enthusiasm as we saw mummies, statues, friezes, chariots, and armor, among other things. Sometimes, too, we lose sight of just how old this stuff is – Luxor, then known as Thebes, was in its heyday around 1500 BC, or 3500 years ago – in other words, it was already 3000 years old when Columbus sailed to the New World. Because the conditions in the desert are so dry, things just don’t deteriorate as they do elsewhere, so we saw sandals that look like they would wear just fine today, paintings with colors that still looked bright, and beds that would make for very pleasant nights of sleep. Amazing!

Temple of Queen Hatshepsut
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As I mentioned before, walking the streets requires one to chant “No, thanks,” virtually non-stop. In addition, as Christina discussed in a prior entry, the culture in Egypt is that one pays small tips for every small service. This is “baksheesh”, which can translate to tip, bribe, charity, etc., depending on the circumstances. Often, it is probably a combination of all of those things! I keep my wad of 25 and 50 piaster (roughly 5 and 10 cents) and 1 pound (roughly 20 cents) notes in one pocket, so that I can peel them off easily. It gets pretty annoying, since it really feels like you’re a walking ATM machine, but it is the way things are, the sums are very small, and many of the people we come across are barely making ends meet. It isn’t just tourists that need to do it, either. As we drove through countless police checkpoints through the desert, we watched our various drivers give the police bags of sugar, cash, cigarettes, etc. Sometimes, it really gets to you, and you think, why should I pay the man who picks me up in a taxi who takes me to the boat, the man in the boat, the kid on the boat who helps the man in the boat, and the kid who takes me from the boat to the stable, plus the guy who accompanies us on our horse back ride, plus the guy who owns the stable, when we’ve paid already to go on a horse back ride. But, that’s just the way it is. . . . Probably, we’ve thrilled a few people with what we have handed out, and I know we’ve annoyed some who expected something, or something more – again, we’re just trying to get it right.

Hot Air Ballooning over the Valley of the Kings
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Speaking of horseback riding, we had a fun ride one afternoon. Following the aforementioned trek across the river, we ended up at the stables, which were a combination camel and horse stables, plopped down in the middle of a residential neighborhood. I kept trying to visualize living in San Francisco or Oakland, and having camels and horses hanging out on the sidewalk in front of my house. My concern that this was going to be a little pony ride where we were all tied up was quickly alleviated, when we were put on our horses and sent off down the road, with the assurance that our guide would catch up with us a little later. Abby, our resident horse expert, coaxed us and our horses into some trotting and the occasional canter, while we navigated around donkey carts, water buffalo, and kids walking home from school. It was a nice way to see real life on the West Bank of the Nile, as we passed through some villages and back streets.

Sunrise from the Balloon
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One day in Luxor was allotted to the big trip to the major sites of the West Bank, which we undertook with a guide. First stop was the Valley of the Kings, where 62 tombs of pharaohs and other especially high-ranking folks have been discovered. It is a remarkably dry, rocky, desolate place, where steep mountainsides rise up on each side and small openings lead down into the tombs, which were actually placed in caves dug into the ground as a means to thwart tomb-robbers. The tombs all date from the New Dynasty, roughly 1500 – 1000 BC. We went into the tombs of Ramses IV, Ramses VII, and Tuthmosis III, all of which were terrific in different ways. What is most striking is the depth of color on the walls – huge walls are literally covered in paintings and hieroglyphics done in the classic style, and the colors remain incredibly vibrant, 3000+ years later. At a certain point, they do start to blur a little, but we really enjoyed the three we saw.

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Our West Bank day also included a stop at the Temple of Queen Hatshepsut at Deir al-Bahri. Hatshepsut was one of Egypt’s few female leaders, and she built an enormous temple to herself around 1450 BC which remains in spectacular condition. Final stop was the Medinat Habu, which was built by Ramses III and subsequently expanded. The immensity of the whole thing is just indescribable, and is especially awesome when one remembers how long these huge walls, columns, and pillars have stood.

Despite the ease of our days in Luxor, Grayson and Christina found time for a sunrise balloon ride over the Valley of the Kings and Hatshepsut's Temple as well as a visit to the awe-inspiring Temple of Karnak.

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Throughout our time in Egypt, we have been simultaneously amused, puzzled, and a little bit concerned by the level of police and military protection apparently devoted to looking out for tourists. There is a separate branch of the police devoted to Antiquities and Tourism, and we see them everywhere in great numbers. They don’t all look like the most intimidating folks around, but their presence is reassuring. While in Siwa, the head of the local division stopped me on the street and had a long chat, just checking in on our plans, making sure that we were comfortable, etc. Different divisions interpret their responsibilities differently. On our way from Dakhla to Luxor, when we passed through the large oasis town of Kharga, the Tourist Police followed us as we drove through town, turning on their siren at every intersection to ensure that we crossed safely. When we stopped to buy some snacks for the long drive to Luxor, we were escorted from shop to shop by a guy packing a pistol. For several 20 mile stretches of the drive through the desert to Luxor, we again were followed by a car load of police to make sure we made it to the next checkpoint safely. Apparently, American and British tourists merit special attention, because of their relative importance to the overall tourist economy. Nobody suggested that there is any particular threat these days, but I think everybody wants to make sure that nothing bad happens on their watch or within their area of responsibility.

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Partially on purpose, and partially by accident, Luxor has ended up being a rest stop for us. I know, I know, I said that Siwa was one, too. Well, Luxor is really a rest stop, given its comforts and amenities, and we have realized that we do need to slow down more often. The younger members (and one in particular)of the traveling team are showing signs of tourist fatigue, and we’re trying to dial down the group metabolism a little to address that. Amazing what a few milkshakes, a swimming pool, and time lying on a bed reading does to the psyche of a traveler young or old. Occasionally, Christina and I gnash our teeth (behind closed doors), as we hang out at the hotel rather than walking the streets absorbing more of the very colorful local culture, or seeing another UNESCO World Heritage Site, but we remind ourselves that happy kids are more important. And, not to worry, I still pity the kids’ seventh grade Ancient History teachers (is that still part of seventh grade curriculum?), as they have learned a heck of a lot about Egyptians, Greeks, Romans, and everybody in between (Hiksos, Hittites, Lycians, etc.).