Please Have Mursi

Dan and his lady friend
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By Dan

Ah, every man’s fantasy: to be grabbed and groped by a topless woman carrying a machine gun. . . . Got your attention, did I? Well, you’ll just have to read on for the details.

From Jinka, we set out on a day trip through Mago National Park. That entailed a long drive down a mountain and back into the Rift Valley. Along the way, we entered Mago, and passed a variety of guys walking around with rifles or machine guns slung over their shoulders. (Throughout the south, we have seen a lot of guns.) When asked what the men were doing, Melaku explained that they were collecting honey. Well, I have trouble understanding just how a Kalashnikov would help you to collect honey – is a machine gun really that effective for killing bees?? – but when pressed, Melaku didn’t really have any better explanation. I think it’s just part of getting dressed in these parts – you sling your weapon over your shoulder when you head out, because you never know when you’re going to run into an unfriendly bee.

Mursi woman
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The kids had high hopes that Mago would mean animals, and we spotted some baboons on the way in. Then, we started seeing dik-dik, which are one of the smallest members of the antelope family, and aren’t much bigger than a small dog. They’re fun to watch as they scamper about. The most notable animal sighting of the day, though, was tsetse flies. They aren’t much bigger than ordinary flies, but have a nasty bite and where they settle, humans and animals tend to clear out – they’re just that unpleasant. We drove with the windows closed through the stretches where they were prevalent, and the tenacious little buggers would cling to the windows and snarl at us. The kids have read the “Dangers and Annoyances” section of our guidebook way too thoroughly, and have a real paranoia of malaria, bilharzia, and anything tsetse-borne, so they were a little more freaked out than necessary, but we passed the day with a few tsetse corpses to our credit and only one or two bites.

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After driving deeper into the park, we picked up a “scout”, who was naturally carrying a rifle. Since we were on a very clearly marked road, and the most dangerous animal in the park was the aforementioned tsetse fly, it wasn’t entirely clear to us what he was scouting for, and why he needed any weapon more sophisticated than a fly-swatter. But, as you learned a few paragraphs ago, these folks hunt bees with machine guns. So, whatever. Before too long, though, we learned what our scout was all about, and why he packed heat.

Mursie woman without lip plate
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The Mursi are a nomadic tribe that is famous for the lip-plates worn by Mursi women. Mursi women have a slit made below their lower lip, and insert a disc-shaped object. Gradually, the slit is enlarged and the lip stretches, and eventually, a woman is able to insert a bread plate-sized disc into the slit. The look is, well, striking. Apparently, there are several theories as to why the custom developed: one is that the lip plates made Mursi women look less appealing to slave traders, another is that they somehow prevent evil from entering the body through the mouth, and a third is that the lip plate causes a Mursi husband to worry less, because it made his Mursi wife look less appealing to other Mursi men. The last theory sounds like a world class case of cutting off your nose to spite your face, or something like that, so personally I’m not buying it. I don’t know about the others. The bigger the lip plate, the more attractive a woman is considered to be, and the more cows a man will pay for the honor of her hand in marriage. A really valuable bride can flip her lower lip over her head, when she’s not wearing her lip plate. Wrap your heads around that one. (Pardon the pun.)

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When we pulled into a small Mursi village, the whole population charged over to greet us. We had been warned that the Mursi were more mercenary in their pursuit of photos (and the accompanying 2 Birr payments) than other tribes, and the people in this village definitely lived up to their reputation. Abby lasted about 5 minutes before deciding that she had had enough; she retreated to the car, which was parked in the shade under a tree. I certainly understood her feelings. Melaku managed to get Grayson out of the center of the commercial transactions, and they hung out with a smaller group comprised mainly of kids that seemed genuinely interested in the novelty of a white kid. Christina and I, meanwhile, figured that we were here, photos and payments were part of the program, and we might as well do our thing. We did manage to have some relatively enjoyable interactions, all in pantomime of course, with some of the folks in the village. But, we were very glad to have our scout with us, who sort of played traffic cop, trying to keep away the throngs of people who were poking, pinching, and prying to get our attention – there was sure no shortage of volunteers to pose for photos. He also made sure that the subjects of the photographs, and only the subjects, collected the 2 Birr payments. He was incredibly helpful, as it was a pretty weird and chaotic scene.

Mursi boy
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In addition to the lip plates, men and women had all sorts of interesting ornamentation, which made them about as striking as one could ask for, as far as great subjects for photos. And, like others in the area, many of them had rifles or Kalashnikovs strapped over their shoulders. I can safely say that it was the first time in my life that I have been pawed and groped by topless women with machine guns, and, to be honest, I think I’ll stick with my more mundane fantasies going forward.

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Once we were through with our visit and back in the car, we all let out a cheer – a mixture of relief, excitement, and amazement, I think. It was a very intense experience, but one that I would not have missed for anything, and one that I know we will all remember forever. As we explained to the kids, there aren’t more than a handful of places in the world where you find people living in such traditional ways and with such distinctive personal ornamentation. And, those places are dwindling in number with every passing year. This is a really special place we are visiting, and it isn’t likely to stay this way forever. So, for that, we’re certainly willing to spend a few Birr and put up with a little poking and grabbing.