6 weeks in Germany

Well, some of you may not be aware, but I lived in Germany for 6 weeks.  It was going to be 3 months but the situation was, err, CRAZY, so I decided to abort and return to London early.

I decided to take a 3-month vacation from my job at the GSCC and become an au pair for a Turkish-Russian family, living in Germany (who all spoke English!)  Sounds ok, til I tell you more...

I accepted the au pair role in June, then every day - without fail - the dad (Turkish) called me to see how I was going.  This should have been a warning bell but I thought he was just being friendly.

I arrived into Cologne airport on Saturday 22nd July and was greeted by the dad.  He seemed harmless enough, and he was a midget so I figured I could 'take him' if he decided to be stupid.  But he was ok and took me home to meet the mum (Russian), and the kids; 6-year old girl and 5-year old boy.

The parents were going to be with me for 6 days before heading to NZ for a 9-day holiday.  So I had 6 days to learn the routine, drive on the right side of the road, find out what the kids like to eat, and get to know Kleve.

Mum worked, dad didn't.  I didn't know this before I arrived, then I wondered why they needed an au pair?!  I soon found out; dad needed someone to keep him company while the kids were at school.  High Maintenance I tell you!

The next day I had driving lessons with dad.  He has to be THE WORST GUY to go driving with!  I knew how to drive - I had been driving for 15 years - but in NZ where we drive on the left, so I knew there was going to be some adjusting to driving on the right.  But he was just OBNOXIOUS.

The kids ate nothing!!  They ate packet-tomato soup, meat, pasta, rice, cereal and candies - nothing remotely looking like a vegetable.  And candies at any time of the day and night.  I was not impressed.

After a couple of days dad said, 'Lets go to the sauna'.  Ok, fine with me, I like the sauna.  But I soon discovered that this was a European NO CLOTHES unisex sauna complex.  Argh!??!  Seeing your midget-Boss naked after 3 days was NOT COOL!!

I also soon discovered dad was a compulsive liar.  He would promise his daughter; I will pick you up from school, then he would send me to collect her.  I had to deal with a 6-year old crying and yelling that she hated me because HE couldn't be bothered getting off his ass.  (School was a 2 minute walk up the road, kindergarten was 3 minutes away).  And he would promise kittens and puppies when they lived in a rented house and were not allowed pets.  It was sad to watch.

Mum just seemed to ignore it.  I could see her cringe when he talked of pets, but he would speak before thinking and she didn't really know what to say or do.

The kids were brought by au pair after au pair, with different levels of tolerance.  I wasn't taking a lot of crap and if you spit at me, you will be punished.

Daily conversations with dad about other men coming on to him in Turkish bath-houses was extremely boring.  And he thought he had the best recipes for everything.  He did not shut up, I was going out of my mind!

One happy memory was the weekend cousin Fritha came to town.  She flew into Dusseldorf and we met up for the night.  It was good to be in a big city again (Kleve is about the size of Palmerston North), and see a familiar face.  We had a good weekend eating yummy foods, going window shopping and taking tram rides around the city.  There was a huge festival on by the river with stalls and sausages, and loads of people.  In the evening we watched 15 hot-air balloons on the other side of the river light up their balloons, but it was too windy so they never lifted off the ground.

The following Friday - after more stupid conversations and children telling me they hated me - I decided it was time to leave.  The family went out, I went upstairs, packed my suitcase, and took a cab to the train station.

2 hours later I arrived into Dusseldorf and booked into the hotel where Fritha and I stayed.  Then marched to an internet cafe to book a flight back to London.

I had a lovely 2-day vacation in Dusseldorf before returning to London on Sunday.  And I smiled like a twit all the way to Bayswater - thinking of my 6 weeks in Germany.

My life is an adventure ;)