Life on the beach

Prelude

The waves chase each other across the sinewy landscape. The sky darkens as the sun finally gives up its hopes of a proper burial. There is no red today - blue is the master of these lands.

The horizon is pockmarked with rocky kos and the occasional fishing boat. The island to the left is endowed with its own feathery crown, a cloud reserved just for its lucky inhabitants. The scene whispers of tranquility, though it's a bit hard to hear over the roar of the engine and the ringing of the mobile phones of the other ferry passengers.

The smoke we leave behind has turned our own cloud black. It hangs waiting for the wind to chase us down and let it pour out its vengeance. It only manages a few pleasantly cooling drops before we speed away to our destination. The cloud vents its rage with beautiful but impotent lightning bolts for the remaining hour at sea.

For once on a long voyage, I do not reach for a book or a conversation, but contemplate the world around me and wonder.

Ocean View

As we waited for our bags in Surat Thani airport, a burly German guy approached us. "Ar yoo going to Ko Phangan on the ferry? Did yooo guys know that the ferry is eighty kilometers away, and vee only have an hour?" We in fact did not know that, but fortunately some local taxi drivers did - they rushed us off the baggage carousel and into their cabs, and proceeded to speed around traffic, mostly on the wrong side of the road (that being the right side here in backwards land), and got us there within 10 minutes of departure. Bonded by our common experience, we quickly got to know Klaus and his girlfriend Katya.

Klaus is about 6-2, 260 lbs, with a closely cut, slightly receding hairline, and the most positive attitude of almost anyone i've ever met. An experienced butcher, he recently switched careers to work at a parts factory in his small home town near Lake Constance in southwestern Germany. He had been to Thailand a couple of times in 2002 and 2003, and wanted to show Katya all the cool places he'd seen. Katya is a sweet, cute, somewhat bookish girl who works part time with the mentally handicapped, and probably (hopefully) spends the rest of her time adoring Klaus. Klaus has been through some difficult times in the last few years, and has a one-year-old daughter that he needs a court order to see - if there are signs of strain on his disposition, they certainly were not visible to me. With bubbly enthusiasm he told me of the 12-hour, 20km taxi ride in Laos, where he had to get out and push the car multiple times. "It vas so coool. Laik offroading. Mud everyvere. Very excaiting." Klaus and Katya wear matching shirts, and take long walks on the beach. When Klaus rides the motorcycle and Katya sits in the back, he makes her put on a baseball hat "for sefty". Klaus has attained the peak of a pink tan. ve are sad to have left zem.

We followed Klaus and Katya to a guesthouse he stayed at last time - Ocean View Guesthouse on Haad Khom (haad means beach). The guesthouse and the rest of the beach is only accessible by dirt road or water taxi, which surprisingly keeps most tourists away, given the beach's own coral reef and amazing snorkling 10 meters from shore.

The guesthouse is one of several places on the Island owned by a very sweet, English-speaking Thai family. Ocean View is run by the oldest daughter Bovy, who is in a continuous competition with Klaus for the title of nicest person in Thailand.

We stayed at Ocean View for 5 days, during which time we got 5 amazing thai dinners (including barracuda), and a few similarly awesome breakfasts. Despite the seclusion and the somewhat spotty amenities (electricity from 6pm to 2am, only cold shower, laundry does not dry and smells like mildew), we felt really at home and happy the entire time there.

The first day there we went snorkeling (my first time). about 20 seconds after I stuck my head in the water, i found myself face to face with a 5-foot long floating lizard - what I later determined could only be my spirit guide (for the sceptics, I will mention that I was not under the influence of any psychotropic substances). I recoiled in fear, and so only got a passing look, but the image is forever embedded in my mind. Needless to say the tropical fish that followed were a relative disappointment.

A Life Aquatic

The sun has set to another steely blue dusk, a day on the sea behind us. We snorkeled, we fished, and we snorkeled some more. Life is good in paradise.

We arrived at the "Dive Inn" in Chaloklum Village around 8:30am, by means of a water taxi from Haad Khom, the secluded little beach we have been staying on. Our tour boat was driven by a grinning Thai pirate and a beer-bellied first mate. The diving was handled by Willem (the Zissou), Wolf and Dex, 2 seasoned diving stereotypes and a relative newbie with scars worthy of most snowboarders his age. Dex brought along his little canadian girlfriend, to play with on the sun deck during the downtime.

Lena and I were joined by Micaelo, a suave Italian dogooder, just off a 3-month NGO project in Pakistan. He regaled us (mostly Lena) with some shocking stories of his stay in this rather foreign land. We learned that although in the public life islam is king, once you are in the home and trusted, most taboos are quickly broken. Once the woman knows you are leaving and the chances of repercussions are minimal she opens up (you have to imagine this being said with an italian accent.) Also, apparently homosexuality is rampant, since men have little opportunity for contact with women.

There were also less interesting cameo appearances by Billy, the Malaysian->British IT project manager, whose dream came true when he got to drive the boat for an hour of the return trip. There was also Shawn, a bricklayer from Sussex, and a fat dude that drank a lot of beer and caught 20 fish (there's always at least one). The rest of the crowd was filled by a rather generic group of british and german guys, who more or less kept to themselves.

The boat set off from the pier at Chaloklum around 9am and sped ahead as we dug into the egg/toast/watermelon/banana breakfast. The mood was jovial, most likely in anticipation of the 2 cases of beer everyone saw getting loaded onto the ship. The ride to our first stop was predictably breathtaking. As we steamed ahead to the national marine park, mile-high clouds hung lazily all around. Fish skimmed across the water surface, spinning their flippers at remarkable speeds. Rocky islands blipped on the horizon, anxiously awaiting our alliterative arrival.

The first stop was at island 1. We snorkeled. The coolest thing I saw was a thousand-strong school of eight-inch long fish, moving around in a donut around an invisible center. Also, I learned I am not so good with the flippers and the mask - getting water in my breathing tube every 5 minutes, and then flapping around trying to empty it. the fishing attempt was a failure as well. sadly my natural environment (the cubicle) is very different from the ocean.

The second stop was an upgrade of the first. Island 2 (a.k.a. Japanese Island), had way cooler fish, and I used lessons of the past to improve my experience. The snorkeling was awesome. I used a life vest this time, which is the snorkeling equivalent of a lazy boy, so i got to leisurely circle the island, seeing all kinds of exciting and colorful sea life (If I knew anything about fish, this is where I would detail my observations. Instead I'll just say I saw ~10 different types of fish (including one spotted like a jaguar, many sea urchin, many sea cucumbers, and all kinds of coral).

The second fishing attempt was far more successful. I lost 2 big fish unfortunately (bait, hook and sinker), but was able to pull out a couple of smaller ones, which the first mate immediately gutted and threw on the barbecue, and which we all ate on the way home. And it tasted damn good.

The ride back was nothing short of spectacular. as we traversed the sea at 30-40 knots, I alternated between hanging off the side of the boat, or sitting in the back dipping my feet in, and generally meditated on the beauty of the world around me. Upon our arrival, the port of Chaloklum was circumscribed by a giant rainbow, and filled by a summer rain cloud. We stepped ashore wet and happy.

Polnolunie

May 13th brought us the full moon, and with it Ko Phangan's signature event - the full moon party. Going on 10 years now, the party has come to attract people from all walks of life - the majority these days seem to be of the "woo, spring break, get shitfaced and pee in the ocean" type. The kilometer long stretch of beach hosts 7 or 8 clubs, with plenty more in the rest of the town. The beach clubs set up pretty nicely - lots of colorful lights, psychedelic sculptures and fire twirlers.

The twirlers deserve a whole separate entry, which I would do but unfortunately lena was the only one that took pictures of them, and it's really a sight difficult to express in words. Most of the guys are in their teens and early twenties, thai, mohawked, tatooed, 0% body fat, tight black jeans and no shirt. They dance with burning sticks, burning balls on the ends of ropes, burning lengths of rope, etc. The speed with which they spin these things is nothing short of staggering, and a few of these guys actually manage to spin to the music and have a totally integrated dance to go with the fire.

The party was really fun. I crashed a 5 despite all the vodka redbulls, while lena kept going into the wee hours of the morning. good times.