Kicking back in Kuta - destination: relaxation!

Helmet: check. Sunnies: check. Excitement to the max: check.
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I'd be a liar if I didn't admit that I was a little dubious deciding to choose Indonesia's 'Party Capital' as my first port of call on this incredible journey. Party tourist traps are nothing new in south-east Asia, drawing swathes of packbackers and package tourists to places like Changmai, Langkawi, Ubud, Nha Trang and Siem Reap, all of which boast robust tourist infrastructures, replete with shuttle buses, woodfired pizzas, dodgy DVDs and beauty salons aplenty. At times you feel you've never left home, because the vibe in these places often revolves around locals eager to make the cultural divide between the developed and developing worlds seem less apparent. Many tourists lap up the lattes, 'designer' clothes and DVDs, commanding an air of superiority that comes with the relative might of any given western currency pitted against the humble Rupea, Baht, Dong or Ringget.

Hanging out with Ardy's family.
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Sound depressing? It can be. In any case, why would an aspiring world citizen seek out cultural enlightenment in a place like Kuta, one of the oldest party joints in the world?

This kind of 'hedonism on tap' is sure to keep you on your toes, unless of course, you've drunk too many Bintangs or all-night-long-happy-hour cocktails...

With its melange of 24 hour Mcdonalds delivery scooters and Starbucks coffee, set aside street stalls serving local favourites like nasi campur and gado gado; with its endless maze of pubs and clubs, where locals ogle the steady stream of recently-bronzed holidaymakers, Kuta is never 'dull.' This kind of 'hedonism on tap' is sure to keep you on your toes, unless of course, you've drunk too many Bintangs or all-night-long-happy-hour cocktails.

How cool it is to check out your bike parked at Ubud's "Monkey Forest" and say to yourself, "...yeah! I made it!"
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One would imagine that one of the hardest things in a place armed to the teeth with western delights is really tapping into local culture. But in Kuta - and for someone like myself with a snow-white tan and extremely poor social skills on the dancefloor - this has never been easier. Purests maintain that an overly 'touristic' destination will never reveal the countries true cultural colours. But if you really make an effort, the Balinese readily dispense with the typical tourist niceties and welcome you into their extended families.

Stopping by scenic fields to just chill out and enjoy life...
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Such was my experience when I hired a clapped-out Yamaha bike one day and found myself buzzing through traffic in search of petrol.

"Where you going?" came the ubiquitous question, launched at me from the other side of the road, through an army of bikes and taxis.

"Petrol!" I blurted out.

"Follow me."

I've never loved rice this much until now!
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Three minutes later, I found myself as the local Shell, surrounded by an enthusiastic team of attendedents, unscrewing caps, filing nozzles into tanks and taking monies. Having paid for mine, I offered my guide a 5000 rupea note.

"Absolutely not," he frowned. "But... I have nothing to do today - would you like me to show you round?"

I smiled my agreement and we were off. Friends are rarely made this easily, but when you have the chance, it's a risk worth taking.

Over two days, my new friend Ardy - a softly spoken Balinese Muslim living and working in Kuta showed me round all the local spots including two places nearby, Thanah Lot, the fabled temple by the beach, and the sleepy hill station of Ubud with its mystical monkey forest. Despite several attempts to thrust money on him, Ardy seemed genuinely happy to just hang out, introducing me to his friends and family and practising his English. After several invitations by me to buy him lunch on the first day, with several polite refusals, I realised that Ardy was fasting for Ramadan. Riding around on bikes all day can be hungry work, but I decided to skip lunch with him, opting for an afternoon coconut on the street instead.

Traffic's actually quite fun when you're on holiday!
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On the evening of our second day  together, I insisted on giving him a  gift, whereupon we  went in search of a cheap and functional mobile  phone.

That night, with the genuine and unconditional happiness that comes from giving someone a present (not to mention riding around a good portion of southern Bali and soaking up the ambiance!) I felt that I'd truly taken myself out the trap, at least for a little while.