"Boiy!" Thailand and "Rack off, hairy legs!!!" Australia

Well, I'm in Australia now! Sat in a net cafe by the beach.

The last couple of days in Thailand were pretty interesting and to my mind, we went to the best bit in the whole place. Only I can't remember what it was called. Damn. Anyway, it's a bit like Camden, only just a single road long, full of street hawkers and grimey bars. Rob and I took a trip there on our last night and sampled the many bars and dodgy looking shops (one bloke playing Neverwinter Nights 2 on a dirty looking PC: no fair :-().

"It's all the same: a rock, a pogoda and a chinaman." - Mum on Chinese art

It was actually pretty good to get away from the 'authentic' streets for a bit and mix it up with the back packers and young tourists. I think I'd probably suffer if I was travelling for real -I just can't do without my creature comforts, language and recognisable names. I'm too much of a home body.

Anyway, we sat in an Irish themed pub (O'Reillys of course) and drank some authentic Irish Carlsberg. Also on offer was Newcastle Brown Ale; as Irish as a leprechaun shaped potatoe, I'm sure you'll agree. It's things like that I really like: another country's take on your own culture (I'm not really Irish though, I might add). I love that sort of thing. Otherwise, apart from the Newcy Brown logos everywhere it was pretty good. The English themed pub was total crap; but fairly English though to be fair. I mean, having blank walls pretty much means it can be based on any country, but the big British flag tipped the scales.

We sat in a bar watching the Captain Jack Sparrow look-a-like sway past (he was selling fake rolex) and drank absurdly cheap beer until about 1am. Mr Boombastic (they call him semi fantastic) roared out of the tannoy and we mimed along with all the other sun bleached peeps.

Some spaced out guy befriended us after spotting my Transformers t-shirt and introduced us to his mates. A 19 year old kid (his age was shocking news to his mates, funnily enough) and a really boring guy. We were more interested in the massive beer tap he had sat on his table, so joined him.

Good stuff, but we were pleased when they left to find some action, and we went home.

Our last meal (sounds like we're on death row or something) was in a Chinese themed restuarant in the hotel, which was nice and the service was great -although cringeyest comments were mum's note that 'they're very small people aren't they." Oh lordy. Or that Chinese art is "all the same: a rock, a pogoda and a chinaman." At least that last one is art and therefor subjective and was actually based on observation, even if it was of only one picture. Of a rock a pogoda and a Chinaman. ;-)

Sydney seems excellent so far. I made an instant dislike (as I usually do if everything) of Australians for some reason (probably because they're more confident than me!), but they actually seem really cool.

We were met at the airport by mums old traveller friend who p*ssed me off by telling a million storys about how amazing everything is that he's done. "Yeah mate, kayaking. You should try it. Bangkok? 4 days? Well, I was there for a year of course, which is better. Blah blah. Tokyo? Lived there for a year mate, so I know it all perfectly. The moon? I build it out of my bare hands. What? London? I own half of it," Yeah yeah, whatever!!

Sorry, I'm just grumpy because I havnt' slept for about 30hrs now and have to go to a big family BBQ in 30 mins. Ugh. relatives. Curse them. I suppose I'm going to have to thank them for my Christmas cards and stuff now aren't I! Trust my brother to remember. ;-) I'll stop now, because I sound even more horrible.

One thing worth mentioning is the tv here. Switched it on in our apartment to be instantly greeted with the phrase: "bloody ripper!!!" and then an advert for a crazy frog-like thing for something called: the girl and the leek. Which quite literally is a ring tone of a squeeky girl singing about leeks. And a picture of a spinning leek. Cool.

PS: on the 10 hour flight from Bangkok we had to put up with bloody kids who don't shut up. That's why I'm annoyed. Who would have thought putting three toddlers onto a 10 hour flight would be so noisy!!

Boiy!!