montana is a waterpark in the middle of hell (and i like it)

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160 miles traveled today

what is quickly becoming quite banal, montana is beautiful. although, billings itself is not exactly a geographical wonder. typical small town, but apparently for montana it is a bustling metropolis. not everywhere can be LA. which i miss at this point. but that is another story. getting to billings early is a good idea as i am car wary.

22,000 gold wing road riders of america...

the western plain states are enamored with indoor and outdoor waterparks. i am terrified of rollercoasters and big drops....i am a big pussy.

leave no butterfly alive!
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we finally find a hotel that is not completely booked due to the 22,000 douchebag gold wing road riders of america in town. for those of you out of the know...the gold wing road riders are a bunch of rich pussy weekend warrior motorcycle riders who think that living on the edge is rallying with all of their cycle buddies with their non-club leather vests and weather and sun-worn bleach blonde maidens strapped on their bikes with GPS mapping abilities. they are as ubiquitous as the butterflies that fluffy the hellwagon has inadvertently slaughtered aplenty on the montana highways. i feel so bad for the butterflies. also, i remain the cow champion. i am forever the cow champion. little baby cows are so cute. if they would stay so small forever i would take one home to sleep with me in my bed. they are about the size of corbin so i think it may work. i want an eternal baby cow!

horsey!
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of course there is a water park right next to the hotel (we got the executive suite!) i sat out for as long as i could, but succumed to the pleas of A for me to join him in middle american ecstasy. i am afraid of the big slide, but tipsy enough to try it. i go again and again...

tonight in billings is a night for me to get drunk. these parts are ripe with brewerys. and steakhouses. i drink too much before dinner. i also became infatuated with the horse sculpture in downtown billings. and the neon palm trees near the motel. rolling around in the grass in montana when the sun finally is gone. missing southern california.