I don't know my aft from my elbow

Muster station A
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On Sunday I woke up at 2am to get to Glens house for breakfast, and thanks to his mom we left on a full stomach. After breakfast his parents dropped us off at PVD so we could make our flight.

We arrived in CLT exhausted but we didn’t have to go through security again. We just sat around for a couple of hours waiting for the connection to MIA. CLT is probably the nicest airport I have ever flown through. It was clean, had all sorts of shops and places to eat. It also has smoking sections that are bigger than a closet and actually clean. I remember the Vegas airport smoking section was a smoke filled closet where all you had to do was walk in and take a breath and you didn’t need a smoke anymore.

Abandon Ship!
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We arrived in MIA without incident to a thundershower, and caught a cab to the pier to board our cruise. The cabbie wasn’t very personable but it was only a short 15 or 20-minute drive.

The next time I go on a cruise I’ll be flying in the day before so I don’t have to worry about making it to the ship. I would’ve been pretty pissed if we had a delay and I didn’t make it to the boat. (If you do have a weather or mechanical delay en route to the pier and you have the insurance, Carnival will put you up in a hotel and fly you to the next destination.)

Miami from the ship
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The first day onboard was pretty good. This was my first cruise and it definitely will not be my last. We boarded the ship around 1 after checking in through security and receiving our sign and sail cards. Our room wasn’t ready yet so we basically spent the day getting to know our way around the ship because I didn't know my aft from my elbow. It did stop raining but it was still cloudy so there were no bikini-clad babes walking around just yet. I was drunk before we even left the dock. The price of booze wasn't too bad but I spent a little more than what I initially planned on.

I met a few people from Indiana that are on their sixth cruise. They had 10 people in their group. A lot of people say the best thing about taking a cruise is the food but I think it’s all the people you meet. Of course I didn’t eat in the dining hall. I basically ate at the buffet for breakfast lunch and dinner the whole trip.

Later that day we went down to check out our room and to see if our luggage had arrived because I wore jeans and wanted to change into shorts. We stayed in the cheapest room on the ship, which was located on the lowest deck and on the interior of the ship. No window. When we first walked in to check it out Glen must’ve been reading my mind because he said “uhm…where’s the other bed?”. I looked around and finally noticed that it was folded up, above the bed. (One thing I did learn on this cruise was that I am too old to be climbing into a bunk bed… especially after a night of drinking.) The luggage still wasn’t there so we went to walk around the ship and booze it up some more.

Glen was a bit tired so he went back to the room to take a nap while I sat at The Great Gatsby cigar bar. While I was at the bar, they made this big announcement calling all the crew for some emergency drill and said that passengers don’t need to do anything. So before she left, the bartender gave me another drink and took off. A few minutes later I realized I was the only one at the bar. It turns out right after that announcement they made another telling passengers to go to their cabins, get their life preservers and meet at the designated muster station but I couldn’t understand a word of it. It might have had something to do with the fact that I was, by this time, fairly intoxicated.

I finally made it to the cabin where Glen was waiting with preserver in hand and then proceeded to the muster station. At the muster station we sat next to a group in their late twenties and made fun of all the people below our balcony while we were waiting for them to tell us what to do in the event of an emergency. It was pretty funny because there were some people who couldn’t fit the preserver on right, one lady had so much to drink already that she was passing out before the drill began. Yeah she’ll make it… Abandon Ship!!

After learning what to do if we hit an iceberg in the Caribbean, we went to the karaoke bar for a few and saw a Mexican guy with a big black sombrero sing Frank Sinatra’s NY, NY. It was hilarious. He was dressed like one of the three amigos and had a thick Mexican accent so he couldn’t pronounce all the words but he was there every night singing the same song. He became somewhat of a legend on board.

Next stop... The Bahamas.