Forza Italia

Ok just to clear a few things up as requested…..

1) Luckily we managed to find a bike shop near our hotel and so Abby

Jane - "Do you recognise Cafu?", Abby - "No, I didn't follow any Italian matches"

does now have a saddle and is not cycling around on a pole!

2) It was most definitely NOT our idea to share with snoring Susan

we were forced into that situation very unwillingly

3) Not sure where we lost the saddle but as Abbys saddle as her box was fully sealed…..wethinks they forgot to put it in when they

packed up the box (Ali and Amanda take note!)

Right down to business and our second day in Milan. It started as mentioned before with a trip on the metro and what was promised to be a 10 minute walk but turned out to be about 30 mins to the San Siro football stadium. With a grumpy Abby and excited but also dwindling Jane we paid a whopping 12 Euros 50 for some stupid ass tour round the stadium. It actually turned out to be quite

interesting and we are considering moving into AC Milans changing rooms which were very posh – proper squishy seats and TV screens. They were setting up for a Rolling Stones concert which was also quite intriguing, and in case you were wondering yes it is real grass there (although with artificial grass round the edges).

The museum there was also quite interesting, but completely lost on Abby who kept asking who everyone was and making inappropriate comments as usual. A perfect example of which was when we came across the 2004-5 photo of AC Milan and she asked if there was anyone there that she should recognise. Jane returned “Shevchernko?” which was answered by a very blank expression…then came the true beauty of a comment “Maybe Cafu?”  “No” Abby replied “I didnt follow any Italian matches” cue hysterical laughter from Jane and the response “He's Brazilian” (Oh come on like she was meant to know that?!) After being followed by a creepy dog and spotting a nun, we headed to the Duomo for actual culture. The place is amazing and the inside was so beautiful that, albeit after a small diversion to buy some cycling shoes for Jane the silly moose, we remained in the quiet and peaceful atmosphere for quite some time. It was at this point that we spotted a big screen… And yes would you believe it our day that had begun with football ended with it as well! (Darn you Jane). Whilst sitting waiting for the match to begin and a suitable time to eat dinner, we were

approached by two guys brandishing fans in our direction and commenting on how beautiful our eyes were…hmm….

But then came the real creeps….parents have no fear though the Tony Blair hand gesture for “NO!” works a treat! We watched the semi final of the world cup match between Italy and those tedescos bastardos (German B******* to you and me but trying chanting it to the tune of White Stripes Seven Nation Army, its a stormer!) on a big screen in the heart of Milan with surely thousands of not dunk

Italians, Although our feet were throbbing and we could only see a few parts of the screen at any time, it was a really good night. The atmosphere was amazing and unlike in England there was not a hooligan in sight - although Jane did attract some random dude who proceeded to put his hand on her bum, much to her displeasure, hence the sharp Tony Blairesque hand gesture in his direction (he left pretty sharpish after that!)

By the end of extra time though we were both desperatly hoping that one team would score and at this point we really didn't care which! Luckily, considering we were surrounded by Italians, they in fact scored two goals in such quick succession that the crowd in Milan could barely tell they had scored twice there were so many celebrations. When the final whistle went Abby was hoisted up into the air by the people standing behind us twice in fact and so we legged it out of there at breakneck speed. That was partly to do with the fact that some other bloke near us had decided it was a sensible idea to start lighting a box of fireworks in the middle of the crowd...?!

Back at the hotel Abby jumped in the shower, very glad to see that Susan was not yet snoring like a mammoth yet, while Jane went in search of water from the young guy running the show at the hotel. When Abby had just got changed into her pyjamas Jane returned and announced that she had not found water but had in fact been invited to have drinks with said guy from downstairs to celebrate the Italian victory. We probably should mention at this point that getting back to the hotel was an experience in itself - you may think Italian drivers are bad at most times but you aint seen nothing until you've seen them celebrating. May we suggest if you take your driving test that you don't continually blare your horn, whilst simultaneously smoking, texting and yelling from your car while the passengers sit of the windows chanting their heads off! London gridlock is nothing compared to what we witnessed! But back to our shots of Montenegro....

We have developed quite a fondess for that particular drink now as we were joined by two other guests from the hotel, a fellow Londoner called Shakira and an Australian called Jasmine who currently lives in Gunnersbury - small world or what! They were there doing a fashion course here and decided, like us, that the best way to drown out the noise from outside was with alcohol! In fact we were too tired for any more than 3 shots of Montenegro followed by a shot of what was meant to be absolut vodka but turned out to be water as we think someone had already drunk it and filled it up! Then we trotted back to our room and Susan, still awake and complaining, and Jane decided to entertain her with a detailled account of how Italian football has been rocked by scandal (we don't think she was too amused!) But it did mean that we had the best nights sleep we've both had for a while - strange how we could drown out the background street noise but not our foghorn room mate.

NB We do actually like Susan and anyone that knows us can rest assured that we were nothing but pleasant to her.