Me v the Mountain

So after a dawn bob in sea followed by some lazy hammock reading time, it was back to Kep to pick up the motos and then onto Bokor National park a couple of hours down the coast. Had we read the 2nd page of the Lonely planet entry for Bokor, we’d have learned that the ascent ‘should only be attempted by experience motorbike drivers’. HA! Oops!

The road was effectively a riverbed on a 60 degree incline. This was my biggest challenge since leaving London. In Thailand I’d braved a snake in my hut and dealt with a bloodsucking tic, but now I needed to face my fears in a different way – this was about me and how I handled myself. At times I thought I simply cant do this. I had fleeting moments where I was mastering the bike and the road, and then something would happen and I’d freeze and loose my bottle. I was really stretched to my limit, at times utterly terrified that I would do something wrong and crush myself under the bike – which I must say was really quite heavy. I think I fell off more than 20 times, lightly burning or scraping my legs each time. It was exhausting. Al was incredibly patient and kind, supportively trying to give me driving tips – but my main problem was that to do it properly, I had to give it a certain amount of throttle and trust the bike and trust myself handling the bike – and letting go like that was the one thing I found the most difficult to do. But I perservered. Fortunately Al was thinking about the bigger picture (unlike my good self who was more concentrated on the metre ahead), so made the wise decision after a couple of hours that we should call it quits and head back down, given that there wouldn’t be light for much longer and we didn’t have enough water to camp out. Getting down was trying, but nothing like the way up.

stretched to my limit

Finally, bedgraggled and exhausted, we made it down and headed back to Kampot for the night and a hot bath. I never saw the national park but I am far from disappointed. The whole experience was so enlightening. Observing how I deal with fear, pushing myself to my limit and then venturing a bit beyond because I had to. Knowing that I did it and at no point lost patience or will. And with only a couple of expletive outbursts and not a tear in sight - I can say I am proud of myself, and that’s not something that comes easily to me! (Unsurprisingly, I was too busy to take photos here so will get some up when I can get hold of Al’s)