A Slight Detour

So has anybody else noticed that James Blunt is slowly "morphing" into ................ Gilbert O'Sullivan? I have been listening to the radio and watching TV in a frantic attempt to find out what is happening, on the music scene, "back at home", and "Jimmy O' Sullivan" IS EVERYWHERE. I could not believe it, I was listening to some song of his about "one of the brightest stars" or something, and found myself singing:-

"Clare, the moment I met you I swear,

Gilbert O'Sullivan

I wish I didn't have stupid hair"

If you do not believe me, next time he comes on the radio, close your eyes (why? he is on the bloody radio!!!), and imagine the 70's housewives favourite tinkling the ivories with his mad bubble haircut. Works every time....Not that I have got anything against old GOSser, as we knew him, our frizzy haired crooner. I really liked The Pirates of Penzance, especially the way Johnny Depp played his part like Ronnie Wood (is ANYBODY following this????, spot the deliberate mistakes).

The only other "Brit" I have heard about 30 seconds of is Robbie Frickin' Williams. I caught the end of a song in which he plays a kind of Christ figure and, although I have often thought crucifixion would be great for his career (and the World), guess what KATH and ALLY, I DID NOT IMMEDIATELY PROJECTILE VOMIT. Ok, I did get a bit of sick in the back of my throat and was slightly nauseous for a while, but what a HUGE leap forward, I am sure you will agree????

Anyway THE BLOG ..................................I hopped on a plane to Buenos Aires, and why not! (I bet you have not been able to sleep wondering!!)

Well, we only plan to spend 3 days in B.A. on the way back "up North", and I felt it would be a great opportunity now to spend a bit more time there.

Once again the "excursion" was not without its trials and tribulations. My flight was due to leave at 09.50am on the Friday morning. The mistake I had made, as I was soon to learn, was that I had booked through Aerolineas Argentina (Argentinas', effectively bankrupt, National Airlne. Expecting them to be punctual is like expecting l'il ole me to have a quiet, relaxing day. It just ain't happening). Our flight arrived at 11.30am, which is apparently pretty good by their standards. Unfortunately one of the engines did not work. A minor hiccup! Our flight was then rescheduled for 2.45pm, then 4.50pm, then 9.30pm. We finally took off at 12.10am on Saturday. Thankfully the journey was uneventful barring flying round and round in circles, on the one good engine, for a while.

The great thing about landing in B.A. at approaching 2.00am is the City, rather like Mendoza, was just coming alive. Having only slept about 4 hours in the previous 42, I went out to try out the local bars. The local bars were 2 and 5 miles away respectively, but it was a nice night for a walk, comatose in a strange City, plus the bars stay open until 6.00am so there was plenty of time.

Q. Why is it, no matter where you go in the World, you always end up in an Irish bar?

And so it came to pass, I spent most of the night in Kilkennys "B.A.s' Premier Irish Bar. It played English music, all the staff were Argentinian, the Whisky was from Scotland and they did not sell Guinness. So what the hell makes it an Irish Bar? Oh, yeah, it is called Kilkennys so it must be. In saying that it was slightly less "pseudo Irish" than the Druid Inn over the road. B.A.s' second best Irish Bar advertised Guinness, Kilkenny, John Smiths?, Stella Artois? and Murphys. I entered looking forward to a pint of "dark" beer to be greeted by a bar full of pumps of the aforementioned brews. Salivating, I asked the barmaid (Argentinian) for a pint of Kilkenny to which she responded, sheepishly, that in the 3 1/2 years she had worked in the bar "they had never had any of the beers in the bar, in draught or bottle form". Ho hum!

My Hostel for the first 3 nights was not the best but was in a great place right near the Obelisk (was he a "Gaul"?), bang in the centre of the City. After that I booked into a great place over the road called Sudamerika Hostel. A great room with lovely en-suite, cable TV and a double and single bed. It cost £16 per night, a bit of an extravagance but well worth it.

On Saturday night I decided to take in a bit of a gig, so I went to see The Police supported by Beck, at River Plate Football Ground. The Police were well The Police (I was never really a fan), but they did what they do very well, and did at least play "Roxanne" and "(I feel) Sue Lawley". Beck was brilliant and has helped me answer one of lifes great mysteries that has plagued the Worlds great minds, and mine, for many years...........just what is the first line to the chorus of "Loser" and I can (rather embarrassingly) reveal it is "Soy un Perdedor", Spanish, of course, for "I AM A LOSER". With 50,000 Argentinians singing it in my ears, I got the message.

On Sunday I got a ticket to go and watch Boca Juniors play at home to Lanus in the last game of the season. Surprisingly it was Lanus who only needed a point from the game to win La Liga. It was wonderful, a real throwback to the Seventies. The stands were the old fashioned type with the crash barriers at regular intervals to stop crowd surges. The stadium starts to fill up over 2 hours before the start of the game and the singing gets into full voice about an hour before (and does not stop for a second until half an hour AFTER the final whistle). It was an incredible atmosphere. As the game kicked off a little, fat, smack head stuck his head out of a private box window on the half way line. Unfortunately he did not fall out and break something (the "hand of God" for example).

The Lanus supporters were ensconced in the stand directly above where I stood. This brought back such fond memories also as the whole game was spent having objects thrown into the crowd around me and having spit and urine rain down on us for most of the game. It was so nostalgic, it brought a tear to my eye. At least I think it was a tear!!!

The game, by the way, ended 1-1, so Lanus (who have never previously won the League and are very much a team in the spirit of the Boro ie. most of their squad is made up of home grown talent), were crowned the Champions of La Liga in Argentina. I would have to say as well, and talking to a group of Brits and Europeans in the bar afterwards I was not alone in thinking, that the standard was so far below what we see in the Premiership and even Championship, it was untrue. The game was brutal, with ridiculous amounts of punches and kicks going on miles away from the ball. There were very few moments of finesse and most of the players seemed content to utilise the long ball at every opportunity. Still I loved every minute of it.

On Monday I decided to treat myself to a long lazy lunch at a restaurant called La Cabrera. It was recommended in my Guide as being the place to go if you were only going to have one steak in B.A. They were right. For 36 pesos (£6.00) I ordered the "Argentinian Steak House Special". When the meal arrived it was 3 HUGE chargrilled Sirloin steaks, wrapped in bacon and cooked to perfection, and 13 side dishes, including..... well rather than list them, I will post the picture. I did my level best but could only manage 2 of the steaks. I washed it all down with a fantastic bottle of Malbec Private Reserve (an extortionate £7.00), left a £2 tip and, a mere £15.00 lighter, I wandered the 4 miles home, extremely contented.

The rest of my time was spent pounding the streets, visiting every corner of the City my little legs would carry me. I enjoyed visiting a couple of the Atisan Markets and B.A. does possess some fantastic Architecture but nothing to rival other major Capitals. It has also, effectively, turned its back on its river front. There is a small eco-park you can walk through, and it has, what is laughingly described as a "beach". It is digusting, possibly the dirtiest beach I have ever seen. Then again I think the colour of the water in the mouth of the Rio Grande, which is a very dirty brown, polluted and totally unsuitable for bathing is probably the reason for the peoples apathy towards it.

It does have a number of inland Docks, which are flanked by many upmarket cafes and restaurants (and Hooters!).

It also has thousands and thousands of shops. The main shopping streets Florida and Santa Fe are probably 2 and 5 miles long respectively and are strewn with clothes shops from beginning to end. As far as recognisd brands go you can buy Christian Dior and Lacoste EVERYWHERE. They also have a reasonable selection of sports brands with everything from Nike, Puma, Quiksilver and Rip Curl. Apart from that it is all homemade brands and Leather goods. I must admit I did treat myself to some new warm weather clothes. The funniest things are the slogans adorning t-shirts there. I think it comes back to peoples desire to seem European? The vast majority of t-shirt slogans were in English, but it is so obvious that someone has taken a perfectly reasonable statement in Spanish and put it through one of those quick translation websites. They make absolutely NO sense whatsoever, any of them, and there are thousands. It just looked like a collection of random words. They made about as much sense as I do at 1am on a Friday night propping up the bar in the Bay Horse!

One great thing there was the No 1 car. There are Mk 111 Ford Cortinas everywhere. I love it because my first car was a 2.0 ltr Mk 111 Cortina given to me by my dad when I passed my test. It was bright yellow with a brown stripe that went down the side and over the roof, just like Starsky and Hutch. Except it looked more like a great big Banana Toffee. I loved that car!

One thing you do not see there is the British flag flying outside of Hotels or in the International restaurants. I can only assume it is because we have not been forgiven for the little "spat" we had 25 years ago. Now I can understand US holding a grudge for what the poisoned dwarf did to England on the football field 21 years ago, and to see his ugly mug grinning at you every day is tough to take. The people are fantastically friendly though.

So that was it, my Buenos Aires adventure. I would have to say I was a bit underwhelmed with the City. Don't get me wrong it was fantastic and I had a great time, but I fully expected to be blown away by the place and it just did not deliver in that respect.

My time there ended, and once again I had a incident filled day involving me being so stupid I am sometimes surprised I can actually feed myself. I left the Hostel after taking time to sort out and pack EVERYTHING I needed the night before. The problem was the new clothes I had bought to combat the icy cold, down near the Antarctic, were behind a door, in a wardrobe. Now really, who the hell would think about looking in a bloody WARDROBE for their clothes. That's it, someone with at least ONE BRAIN CELL. So that's me out then! I mean, my final check of everything to make sure all was in order revealed a back pack with absolutely no clothes in it. I managed to ignore this fact and carried on regardless. Oh, and to finish (nearly) this auspicious day, I had made room in my backpack for my new clothes by THROWING OUT THE OLD ONES. Of course I had remembered to do that. I have the t-shirt and shorts I am standing in, and a pair of swim shorts, just what I need for the South Pole in January. The Hostel have confirmed they have the clothes and will hold on to them until I get back, when it will be approaching 35 degrees centigrade in Buenos Aires. Nice!

I said "nearly" finished everything off as once again my confidence and faith in flying has resulted in me losing (the will to live?....not far off, my marbles?........getting warmer, all my money?........SPOT ON). Actually it is not as bad is it might have been, I mean I think I still have my passport. I lost 300 pesos, about £50 and have no idea where it went, but at least I stopped myself from accusing a planload of strangers of conspiring against me. Well, I only realised 5 minutes ago!

Up the Boro!

Take care, and remember "lets be careful out there"

Missing y'all loads, have a fab Christmas if we don't get to speak before the big day.

Lots of love

Paul XXX

Ps. Ok I have to tell you (I was not going to do so because it is a bit un-PC), but you know how you sometimes say things in total innocence and then realise you could not have something worse if you had tried? Yeah, I know......story of my life.

I was in a very Argentinian bar and felt I had to try their signature cocktail "The Belgrano"

The waiter asked "How was your cocktail, sir"

"It went down very well" I replied.

Once again Paul comes up trumps on the Anglo/Argentinian public relations front.