Red Square, Behind the Curtain

Jon and Alex are here waiting at the Russian border to get through customs. We started early, about 5:45am, and arrived at the boarder an hour later. It’s a beautiful day – and we’re both pretty giddy. We passed 23 miles (Jon measured it) of parked trucks waiting to get through the border. We understand that it can take several days for them to cross. We went right to the front of the line, but that turned out just to be the Latvian border. It was easy, too easy, and we soon figured out why. Russia is not so easy. About 45 minutes ago we passed into the line we’re in now to enter Russia.

The best part is the bikes attracted a lot of attention and drivers/passengers got out to chat with us. They spoke no English but we had a great time conversing. They poured over the bikes like they were exotics, asking price, weight, wanting to see the navigation, and hear the stereo. They even took turns getting on the bikes for pictures. Not a bad way to spend some extra time. Of course we had to get the laptop out to convert dollars to rubles and pounds to kilograms. The portable office is awesome – thanks Yo!

The border crossing went in stages and only took 3 hours and 10 minutes. That may sound like a lot but we loved every second of it talking to everyone and making friends. We met more friendly people from all over in those three hours than we had in the previous week. Two guys that turned out to be pilots from Latvia had been in line for eleven and a half hours. At one point, Jon used German to speak to a couple that spoke a little German and Russian to communicate with a very excitable lady that we needed to acquire an insurance policy from. You would think Jon wouldn’t need a translator for that, eh?

We both felt elated when we finally crossed the border but knew we now had a 9 ½ hour drive, 460 miles, after the four hours we had just spent to get here – and then try to find our hotel in a city of 13 million people without maps or any guidance at all. Remember – you can’t even read the signs in Russia because they are in Cyrillic. Thank god Jon spent three weeks studying the alphabet so we can at least ask for directions. The trip was long but exciting. The road conditions are beyond imagination: Shoulders made of mud, potholes, no painted lines, ruts from the trucks, no food, no credit cards allowed for gas, and it rained 80% of the way. We had been warned to be wary of the police, and although we passed multiple checkpoints, we were only waved over by one. This police officer didn’t even ask for our paperwork (which because of Jon was ready and waiting). He observed Alex shutting off his ipod and then wanted to know all about it and the bike’s stereo system. After a lot of hand waving regarding the stereo being unhurt by the rain he smiled and waved us on.

We came into Moscow after 13+ hours of travel and while still on the outskirts it finally dawned on us that this city is gigantic. In spite of that, we were able to find our hotel under heavy rain by asking only four people how to get there. Remember, no English at all. One guy started us in the right direction, one guy waved for us to weave behind him at high speed and follow him part of the way there, one guy drew us a map, two girls waved us right on track, and one guy told Jon to screw off because we didn’t speak Russian (we don’t count him). At least that is what we think he said. We got to the hotel, put the bikes in the garage, dried off, and went looking for dinner.

Due to the rain, we mistakenly chose to eat in the hotel. We paid an exorbitant amount of money for a terrible meal – but at the end they handed us each a piece of Wrigley’s spearmint gum. We both looked at each other and just started laughing. On the way back to the room we noticed a man in military garb and a submachine gun standing out front of the metal detector straddling the front door. It was really nice of the hotel to look out for us – or perhaps additional VIPs were staying there. We called it a night but just kept “high fiveing” the fact that we had just motorcycled into Russia and were now in MOSCOW!

Woke up early the next day found, we’re still in Moscow! This is the pinnacle of our trip – and we know it. To make the most of the short time we have, we had arranged for a guide to meet us at the hotel and show us the best Moscow has to offer. After an amazing but rushed breakfast, Elena showed up at our hotel. Elena turned out to be knowledgeable and bright hippie (only joking Elena) that we both enjoyed thoroughly throughout the day. We first took a walk down Tverskaya Road from our hotel. A trendy street with lots of stores and fun eateries (pectopahs).

Elena took us past significant government buildings and monuments, including Bolshoy theater (but dammit we couldn’t go in and Kim told Jon he wasn’t allowed to attend a ballet with Alex, even if it was just to see the inside of the theater) and the building on Lubyanka Square that housed the former KGB. Little more than a decade ago Lubyanka Square was heavily avoided by all of the Russian population, as you were likely to be sent to Siberia (not a nice place) if you entered those doors. We tried, but it turns out you have special clearance that Elena needed more than ten minutes to try to arrange.

Next we went on to Red Square and learned that the word “red” only means beautiful – which the square is – not any of the more obvious implications from the Western view. This very famous square includes the Russian historical museum on the North end, St. Basil’s Cathedral on the South end, and Lennin’s mausoleum in front of one of the Kremlin’s wall on the West side. It’s hard to describe how we felt standing there – there has just been so much history associated with the square in our life time. We’ve all seen the images of the square on television, it was pretty daunting to experience it in person.

We walked along the Moskva River to the enormous Cathedral of Christ the Savior, heard Russian fairy tales represented by statue fountains in the Alexander garden, and grabbed lunch in an underground food court. Elena introduced us to pancakes that wrap just about anything (read crepes) and a wonderful drink made from bread. After lunch we walked the Kremlin grounds which include at least eight churches, official government buildings (Putin’s office is there), and some pretty gardens. We asked a million questions about Putin’s activities (can we see him, how does he get here without being seen, etc) and learned that there are actually two systems of transportation in Moscow and in St. Petersburg. One is for the public, but VIPs get there own underground road and subway system. Putin is driven along one of these underground tunnels right to his office on the Kremlin’s grounds. Cool. We went into the Kremlin’s Armory Museum where we saw all kinds of fun stuff from the time of the Tzars, including Catherine the Great’s coronation gown and Faberge eggs.

We wrapped up the day with a subway ride to Victory Park, a beautiful park which commemorated the lost Russian soldiers in World War II, although they don’t call it that. The subway was amazing. It occurred to me that if you’re spending ten times what it costs to build a building to build a structure underground, why would you spend a little more to beautify the building but leave the structure underground a stark wasteland like we do in the United States? They have no such issue in Russia. The subway stops are all different, with art, murals, and beautiful marble decking the walls. Graffiti is just not a possibility.

Elena got us back to a street near our Hotel using a Laul (essentially hitching a ride for a small fee you pay the driver) and pointed us into a great restaurant that served traditional Russian fare (thanks Elena!). Alex had wanted to try real Russian borsch which his Grandmother would make him as a child and after a big disappointment with Polish borsch he was being cautious. This was perfect. Even Jon found something he liked. Crashed back at the hotel by 8pm and set the alarm for 2:30am, because we were about to do the craziest thing of our 2 ½ week adventure.