Karma at its finest

Crammed in the slow boat
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So, we were sad to leave the Gibbon Experience 1) because it was so fun ziplining all over the jungle and staying in treehouses and 2) because it meant one more night in Houayxay before we caught the slow boat to Luang Prabang. But all good things must come to an end at some point, so we sucked it up, got some pizza and spent another night in the B.A.P. Guesthouse before a 7:30 AM wake-up to catch the 7-hour boat ride to Pakbeng, where we would be spending the night before the trip continued on to Luang Prabang the next day.

Fishing along the Mekong
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We had heard (and seen) that they pack people in the slow boats like sardines, so Kevin, Peter, Odeke and I made sure we got down to the boat landing at an ungodly hour before the 12 noon departure. This was a smart idea as there were only 12 soft seats on the boat and we were able to claim 4 of them, being the first people there. It wasn't too bad because Kevin and I put a lock and shirts on our seats and then went and got some breakfast while we waited. Then all the people started pouring in. They usually have two boats that leave a day, but our boat was the only one leaving that day, so it was going to be a pretty crammed ride - and we got the luxurious ripped out car seats. :) Really, it wasn't as packed as we had seen and it was very comfortable just floating down the Mekong through beautiful weather. The beautiful weather makes quite a difference, might I add.

Well, it must have been an hour and a half into the trip when we sped by our packed slow boat waving and yelling over the engine "See you later, suckers!" that things started to go wrong

Water buffalo with animal rights
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We passed small villages along the Mekong with naked children running all around, fishermen along the banks and water buffalo soaking in the cool river. The water buffalo look like the happiest animals I've seen since being in Asia, as they are wild and can do as they please, unlike the chained up pigs and emaciated cows that roam the streets. It was refreshing finally seeing some animal rights! I still don't understand how the driver's of these huge boats manage to navigate through rapids between giant rocks. These rocks were like icebergs jutting out of the water and the boat would get so close, all you had to do was reach a hand out and you would be able to touch them. A little nerve-racking, but the captain seemed to know what he was doing. I think everyone was getting a little restless on the boat though. At one point, this French woman decided to pull my bag out of the pile of luggage and use it as a bed, I guess because it's a nice soft body, but when I went to check on it, all of my shampoo and conditioner was all over the place. And all she had to say was, "Would you like to put your liquids in my bag?" Um, no... thanks. I asked her if maybe she could just not lay all of her weight on my bag, she she sat on half of it instead. I think this lady was a little out of it.

This rock looked like a dog's head
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As the sun was setting, we arrived in Pakbeng, where we would be spending the night before another 8-hour journey the next day. The boat ride was very peaceful up until this point, but upon arrival, it was a mad rush to get off the boat and try to get a hotel. This is a very small town. All of the locals rush to the boats to try to grab your bag and bring it up the impossibly vertical sandy slope, only to charge you $5 when you get to the top for carrying it for you. Kevin and I had heard about this scam, so I would not give my bag up at all costs. I was slipping and sliding down the sandy embankment, but I was determined and would not stop. Kevin was yelling from behind me, also slipping, "Holly, want me to carry it for you? Holly!" Lao people were surrounding me from all sides trying to grab my bag, grabbing onto my arms and squeezing my muscles, "Strong" one of them said. I was on a mission. And we made it. Kevin was impressed and, I have to say, I was too. This was no small slope.

Lao family on the bank of the Mekong, washing up
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If we thought Houayxay was bad, Pakbeng is about 10 times worse. It is all Lao people hassling you and charging way too much to the people who come in on the boats because, well... because they can. We ended up going to a hotel called the Luangsay down this tiny little dirt road away from the center of town on a tuk-tuk in the pitch black (a little scary). The hotel is very nice, but we arrived on an "off-night," so the hotel was like a ghost hotel. We were the only people there. Dinner is included and they did not have any of the ingredients they usually have, so they were completely winging it. Also, since it was an "off-night" they had all the construction going on late-night. Usually this hotel is fully booked and there are shows that go on with amazing cuisine and it is the highlight of a lot of people's stay in Laos. It is a beautiful hotel, but our experience was memorable in a different way, I guess you could say.

Happy, relaxing boat ride
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Before going to bed, we spoke with the manager, a man named what sounds like "Ocean" from Bangladesh, and we asked him what time would be best to arrive for the slow boat on to Luang Prabang. He informed us that he was taking a speed boat (which gets you there in 2 1/2 hours rather than 8) that he takes every few weeks, and if we would like to join him, we could split the cost. Well, we had heard nothing but bad things about these speed boats from the Lonely Planet guide books as well as other travelers, that they are the cause of many fatalities from hitting logs or rocks in the water (don't worry, Mom, if I'm writing this right now, we obviously survived). Up until this point, taking the speed boat wasn't even an option. Up until this point. "Ocean" assured us that he had never had any problems with the spped boats and he has a regular driver. We started picturing ourselves on the cramped wooden seats of the slow boat for 8+ hours and made our decision. I mean, what could possibly go wrong?

Us, still alive
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The next morning, we got to sleep in and have a nice leisurely breakfast at the Luangsay. We laughed thinking about all the people we had been on the slow boat with, cramming in for yet another day on the boat in the hot sun. We met up with "Ocean" around 11:45 and by noon our helmets and life vests were strapped on for our considerably shorter trip to Luang Prabang.

We were going full speed, the sun was out, we were in comfortable seats with lots of leg room. This was so much better than the slow boat. What were we thinking ever taking the slow boat over this? Well, it must have been an hour and a half into the trip when we sped by our packed slow boat waving and yelling over the engine "See you later, suckers!" that things started to go wrong. There was a slight pitter patter of the engine, and from then on, we were stopping every few minutes. It sounded like we were given bad gasoline or there was water in the engine. Kevin's and my laughs had fizzled out a little as we pictured our slow boat catching up to us and having to tow us in, or worse, the shame of us having to get back on the boat when we had ditched everyone that morning and we were the idiots that took the speed boat when everyone knows to "avoid the speed boat at all costs."

View from the boat at sundown
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It must have been the fourth time we had stalled out that the dark clouds overhead started become a little more apparent. We were heading into a storm, it seemed. It hasn't rained one day since we've been in Asia and it decides to rain when we're on a stalling speed boat. Of course.

An hour to go and we're cringing from the freezing rain pelting us from above. We stop at a ruined slow boat on the banks and the captain puts a tarp over our bags. It's our choice to go on or not. We wait it out for a while, but the rain doesn't seem to be letting up and "Ocean" has a meeting to get to in an hour. Helmets back on, we're braving the storm. We have no choice. "Ocean" has a meeting and our pride is on the line. We still can't get the image of our slow boat rescuing us from our poor decisions.

Sunset on the Mekong
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We had no rain coats, so we wrapped a Singapore Air blanket around us and huddled together in the boat. It got pretty sporty, to the point where there was lightning crashing and no visibility two feet in front of us (you couldn't see the front of the boat at one point - probably the worst point, when iceberg-like rocks were jutting out of the river). I was on the verge of tears and Kevin was none too cool himself. I kept picturing us being another statistic to the "avoid at all cost, deadly" speed boats. They warn about logs and rocks, but we hadn't heard anything about rain and lightning added into the mix. I still can see the headline: "2 Americans, 1 Lao and the manager of the Luangsay Hotel dead in fatal speed boat accident." Karma at its finest.

And THESE were the comfortable seats
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But we made it! We arrived in Luang Prabang (3 hours earlier than the slow boat), checked into a hotel and got into nice dry clothes. So, I've been deathy ill with a fever for the past day, but we got here early... Man, oh, man. Patience is a virtue.

Note: Don't be another statistic. Avoid the speed boat at all costs. Ha ha. No, but, really, if the weather is good and all odds are in your favor, the speed boat is a lot more fun and a better mode of transportation than the packed slow boat. The odds were obviously not in our favor this time, though.