Doha Delights

Doha. Host to last year's Asian Games. City of light (remember all those torches?). Centre of Qatari culture. (?) (!). Headquarters of the United States Gulf Forces. Possessor of one of the longest runways in the world and (only metres away from this) possibly the filthiest airport toilets anywhere north of the Equator.

The Equator has another significant bearing on Qatar, too. Waist sizes. Eating (aside from adopting/paying other nationalties would-be athletics/sports stars) is possibly the national sport and with the myriad of places to eat (from the Shebestan to Dairy Queen) it's little wonder that many nationals (as well as resident expats) tend to pile on the kilos. As a visitor, however, look out for all the great little alleyway treats ("Sarah's" for example, a Pakistani restaurant with hideous decor, but simply superb Pakistani fare which you will definitely not find without the guide of an afficienado), as well as the grander places: you'll not be disappointed whether it's Arabic, Indian or Turkish. On the last point, I would like to say that Turkey Central on Al Mirqab Street is, without question, one of the very best places in the Middle East to sample superb Turkish food and bread. Say hi to the ever-smiling owner as you walk past his desk on entering. He'll give you a friendly scowl in between scuffling off to deal with the food junkies sitting behind blacked-out windows in their Land Cruisers, tooting their horns for service because they are too lazy/large (?) to waddle out of their cars into the restaurant. No wonder Mirqab has always been a nightmare for traffic jams....

Anyway, aside from grub, what is there to do in what the Saudis think is a state that is an hemorrhoid on their own country's backside? Well, shopping (surprisingly) for cheap Arabic stuff is better/more accessible here than, for instance, Dubai (try the shops near to the corner of the market); sailing is safe and exciting in the bay; posh golf at the Golf Club; get on down to the Rugby Club for some beer, banter and ball handling; Corniche crawling (great place to walk/wobble/jog those kilos off in the late afternoon) and, um....

Yes, in such a small and barren place, there are limits as what you can do around town. Indeed, why you might even want to come here on holiday, despite Qatar Airways most glowing ads, is a bit of a mystery to nationals and expats alike. After all, they can't wait for the weekends to jet off to Dubai or Muscat to escape the drudgery. That said, perhaps the very best thing to sample as an experience here is a trip across the salt-flats and dunes to the "Inland Sea". Rather, it USED to be a great experience before the locals decided it was also a great place to ride out and leave all manner of crap there. Sadly, this is a trait you will see anywhere on the margins of the great deserts in the Middle East. "The sands take all" you will hear as an excuse from the Saudis, Qataris, Kuwaitis and Emiratis who bomb out to their favourite spot, performing amazing tricks with their Land Cruisers or Patrols, stop, eat several kilos of fast food and leave a monstrous pile of bottles, cans, plastic and all kinds of rubbish which they are too lazy to return with. Incredible as it is, they are also the types who never actually clean their cars either: they all have abused maids to do this and/or they call in at one of the hundreds of car-cleaning establishments and where some underpaid and bullied sub-continent/Philippino worker is told to deal with the shit.

Anyway, when you actually get to the "Inland Sea" and decide to camp, (hopefully having found a spot away from the night-time Land-Cruiser acrobats) you will be rewarded with great sunsets, great sunrises and, if you're near to the water, the local sea-life performing splashes in front of you. It's a serene spot (in winter, temperatures in the summer might be a tad hot) to swim and snorkel. Remember, however, to take an experienced guide and a GPS. Saudi is never far away... mind you, neither are the Yanks. And the many hundreds of bored expats and locals who are trying to get away from it all in a country whose gas and oil fuelled banks (like the local bellies) may be bulging at the seams, but their actual landmass, like their culture, is somewhat lacking, to say the least.