Indiaaaaaa, Incredible Indiaaaaaaa (like the ads) in Kolkata

Well well well!  We've made it to our final stop without too many horror stories (never will N forget pooping in a bucket), and here we are in India!  And so far (as of feb 6th) it's been incredible, just like the advert says.  Oh no, they did not lie in the advert (although they did pick an irritating motif tune thing which has been stuck in our heads for months).

So, the hairport was fine...bit of a queue, hilariously creaky baggage conveyor belt (imagine young child playing with a trumpet) which took ages as they couldn't put too many bags on 'else it would break.  Quite a few questions at arrivals, but we think it was for advice rather than interrogation.  Saw a Spanish girl wearing a terrifyingly low cut (and high cut up her belly) top which would make me uncomfortable in Glasgow, never mind in India...wonder how she's doing now?!  Went to the government taxi stand and paid 230 rupees for a 30 minute taxi ride to Sudder Street which turned out to be an impromptu tour of Kolkata; we witnessed a Lakshmi festival with folk teetering on the back of trucks banging drums and dancing, kids in the street, effigies of goddesses on the back of bicycles!  Lots of stuff going on!  And almost instantly we were brought back down to earth by the sight of entire families sleeping on pavements.  Most of the homeless people we've seen so far were smiling and joking; they must have incredible strength to be so happy considering their circumstances.

Money wise India - so far - is a dream come true for our measly budget

So we arrived at Sudder Street, dumped our bags in our new home for the next few days and went for some chai.  Holy crap, chai here is amazing.  And you can buy it EVERYWHERE in tiny wee clay cups which you throw away once used.  Feels a bit weird/greek chucking the cups away, but when in india!  We're now friends with Anil - the owner - and we see him every day for our regular hit o' tea.

Had a surprisingly comfy sleep, due in part to our sleeping bag liners and swanky inflatable travel pillows (which are pretty friggin' amazing), and on the 3rd we had a wander around.  Visited the Indian Museum which was pretty cool - lots of fossils and museumy style stuff.  Jodie read everything...nothing new there haha!  The building itself is pretty amazing...Kolkata has this weird haze in the atmosphere; pollution or fog we don't know but it seems to enhance the buildings and everything we see (and it makes our bogeys black).  Everything has a ghost town type sheen to it with the hazy sunlight hitting the decaying buildings.  Took a walk down Park Street and dodged the crazy traffic and spitting locals to have more tea at the Tea Table.  The food here is INCREDIBLE!  Seriously amazing...we've eaten the most gorgeous vegetarian thalis with fluffy roti which has become our new favourite snack.  Daal curries and chana masalas and things wot would make me cry at home are now part of every day.  I just wrote something there but Jodie told me it was gax so I've taken it out.  Whatever, Jodie.  Anyway, we're gonna be fat pies by the time we get home.

On the 4th we checked oot the Maidan park which is a heeeoooooge park in the centre of toon.  We got scolded for canoodling in the park, even though everyone else was doing it...clearly the female security guard thought I was a brazen Western hussy.  We visited the nearby Art Gallery to check oot some of the local artistes...met a wee deaf guy here who nearly knocked a sculpture down hahaha!  'Twas pretty hilarious, especially when he broke the silence with his mental guffaw!  Checked out a cinema which came highly recommended in LP, and it turned out to be baws.  So the moral of the story is DON'T bother checking out the Elite cinema...it would be at home in Glenrothes and that is most definitely not a postive thing.

On the 5ttttttttth we went to the Park Street Cemetary.  No we are not goths.  We went there as it was *shock horror* recommended in the LP, but this time they were right.  'Tis a giant square of dead bodies with amazing tombs and mausoleums over 'em.  Lots of friendly resident crows (we say friendly as they did us the kind favour of not crapping on us, not even Jodie).

***forgot to mention in the last blog that Jodie got crapped on AGAIN in Singapore hahaha.  Does this make him lucky or unlucky?  Do they balance each other out? ***

ANYWAY, the cemetary was pretty amazing.  No entrance fee by the by, but ye can buy the little info booklet for 100 rs which goes towards maintenance.  So yeah, we wandered around the beautiful space...mid-day sun shone through the haze to give everything a kind of Victorian feel to it...tres photogenic.  Lots of tombs for old employees of the East India Company, the majority of which were British.  And re: the ravens, they appear to be pretty intelligent.  Always checking us out with their big beady eyes, almost like they're deciding whether or not to peck our faces off.  That hasn't happened so far.  So post-park street we had more tea and headed back to Sudder Street; during this walk my thigh was groped by a pervy man...fear not for I gave him the look of death and the finger.

Yesterday we checked oot the Victoria Memorial...big huge palace type thing in the Maidan.  Didn't fancy paying the 150 rs (10 for a local) to get in to the potentially boring gallery, so instead we paid 4 rs each and wandered around the gardens at sunset.  How lovely.  Lots of staring people though...most of the time they're friendly, and when they're not we wave at them like we know them and this appears to make them feel quite uncomfortable hehe.  Easily amused.

On the 6th we checked oot le Marble Palace which was weird in a Return To Oz kinda way...all marbley (as the name suggests), dusty and dimly lit, with the furniture covered haphazardly with sheeeeeets.  It's free entry into the MP, you just need a permit from West Bengal tourism, but all the employees expect a tip.  We tipped the guide, but we encountered this really rude guard at the gate who basically wanted a tip to let us leave; he stood in our path with a mental spear type thing and was clearly not up for letting us pass without placing some silver across his palm.  We're not stingy travellers...if someone's done something for us we'll definitely tip them, but seriously this guy really did bugger all, so we didn't tip him.  Well, we offered him the only change we had which was 1 rupee to which he laughed in our faces and strode off.  Fair do's mr!  In other news, people are fairly curious when it comes to foreigners, and most people will try to get a good gawk in while they walk past.  Ended up walking by a wee man at one point, and he was so desperate to look at us he kept stopping.  So when he stopped, we stopped right behind him and pretended to look in shops or at signs.  I think he thought we might've been spies as this went on for a good 5 minutes of him stopping and us stopping directly behind him!  Last night we purchased our *ominous music* train tickets to Bhubaneswar...2nd class which is almost the lowest of the low, and it leaves at 6 am which is possibly the crappest of crappy times for a train to leave; fingers crossed there are no hitches tomorrow as we're gonna be in no state of mind for dealing with mistakes haha!

Todaaaay we've wandered around the streets looking at market stalls and drinking chai which I think is staining my teeth!  Gonna have to limit my chai intake...fear not, Jodie's perfect gnashers are still perfect.  Oh, and we're now married.  Not really, just in terms of getting a hotel room together.  We've yet to perfect our marriage story, so it's likely to be quite hilarious if we do get questioned...maybe we'll generate a fantastical tale re: crocodiles and swords and jousting to win the love of my husband.  Haha, no, of course it would be Jodie working hard to ensure I accept his dirty hand in marriage.  So yeah, we're married in the eyes of the India.  Not that it's stopping the perverts.  I got my bum felt by a purple-velour wearing lothario - would I have felt better about it if he wasn't wearing purple velour, I don't know - ...not really into this whole grope-age thing which appears to be happening.  I'm definitely not dressing like a slutty tourist, even bought a salwar kameez thing to wear.  In fact, most of my clothes now appear to be vaguely maternity-wear to ensure my appendages are not too obvious.  Anyway, i shouted at him.  Probably not the best course of action, but declaring him to be a pervert in public did make me feel better.  Poor Jodie doesn't get a chance to be all macho as these occurrences always happen hit and run style.  Nevermind...possibly something I'll have to either get used to or buy a gun to combat.

We should mention the beggars and touts here too...around the tourist areas they're pretty hardcore and will follow tourists around for a block or two begging for money or chai.  It's a dilemma as obviously you can't give to everyone, but sometimes that excuse means you don't give to anyone at all.  We've started giving leftover food away which seems to be popular; most street vendors will package up the rest o' yer dinner, and they're handy wee packages for giving to the folk on the street.  In terms of the touts and the beggars wot follow us around, we just have to ignore them as smiling or saying no just makes them more persistent.  We REALLY don't like ignoring anyone, but it really is the only way to get our message across.

Money wise India - so far - is a dream come true for our measly budget...we're spending about 15 pounds per day total and we're not even scrimping...we eat out a couple of times a day, go to cafes, check out the sights.  We do walk pretty much everywhere though.  Our train tickets for tomorrow were 346 rs total for a 7 hour journey...hopefully not the journey from hell though!

Sorry, feels like we're rambling on in this entry but so many things have happened that we want to make sure we remember.  We're having an amazing time so far though...we're glad India's the last country on our list so our amazing trip can end with a bang, or KA-BLAAM if you're into Batman.  Which you should be. We've got HEAPS of photos to upload but our wee camera (hardy wee beast) isn't recognised on this comp.  A-booooo.  Oooh, right now we're chatting to Jamie and Cheryl on Skype and there's a snowstorm in Methlick!  We miss snow!