Colombia

Santa Marta Sunset
see all photos »

Thanks for all the kind comments ref. the weight thing, on my last blog. Rest assured, however, it must have been a trick of the light. I am still A FAT LAD.

I have pondered over this blog for some time now, you see, whilst I loved Colombia, I cannot for the life of me think how to make it sound as exciting and colourful as I promise you it was. Let's give it a try anyway shall we???

Colombia

After the parties and celebrations in Santa Marta, following the Lost City trek (stories about which I bore people with, almost as much as Havana), I took the bus back to Cartagena. Karens' email had indicated the group were in Cartagena for 3 days then..................the email stopped. I assumed they were heading South. Imagine my glee when I arrived to be informed we were actually getting the bus to SANTA MARTA. "Oh shucks", I said, "I have just spent 6 hours on a bus coming FROM Santa Marta"

Cartagena
see all photos »

We stayed in the Hostal Holiday in the old town. That night I went out with Tony and Merrick, drank a few beers, helped smoke ANOTHER cigar (almost my last), visited quite a lot of bars and rolled home at 5.30am.

Next day I strolled around the walled city, again, and remained, well lets say "whelmed" (yeah, I know that is not a word but I just was not under or over you see??). That night was Aussie Pauls', Pablo, birthday (I am now called Geordie Paul which, as you can imagine, I love!!!!). We went to a fantastic Cuban Bar just along the street drank lots of Havana Club, did NOT smoke cigars and experienced the most incredible downpour to date. It is difficult to describe just how hard it rained but the bar which stands on a street corner over 6 inches above the road was flooded within the hour. The live music continued, gamely, as the stage was raised another 10 inches or so. It was impossible to leave the bar, SHAME, because, although our Hostal was only 50 metres up the street, it was on the other side of the road. A great night was had by all.

Arreceifes, Parque Tayrona
see all photos »

Next morning we left for Santa Marta, well Taganga actually, 3 miles further down the road. The scenery looked all too familiar. After 6 hours we arrived in Taganga, a small beach town nestled in a pretty inlet just North of Santa Marta. I have heard differing reports about Taganga. My thoughts on the place are probably best summed up by the fact I decided to leave early the next morning and go hiking in Parque Tayrona, approx. 20 kms away.

And that I did!! I hitched a lift with the guys from Turcol who were taking a group of unsuspecting, middle aged Germans to hike the Lost City. By the time I left the bus 2 of them were being physically sick, 3 had actually thrown themselves under the wheels of an oncoming truck, 4 crouched in the corner rocking back and forth and speaking in tongues, and at least half a dozen had soiled themselves. I soooo could be a tour guide. It feels great to once again having been instrumental in the advancement of Anglo-German relations.

Parque Tayrona is a fabulous place. Entry is 25000 pesos, and you can catch a bus from the gate to the start of the jungle trek. I decided to walk in, 2 hours in the midday sun later I was beginning to reconsider.

The trek through the jungle is beautiful. Packs??? of Spider Monkeys moved effortlessly through the trees overhead. On crossing my path the males started throwing small branches and bits of fruit at me (obviously GERMAN Spider monkeys, the word must have got out). After about 1 hours trekking you arrive at Arreceifes, and the beach. Arreceifes is nothing more than 3 separate camps. I booked my hammock for the night and wandered miles along the unspoilt and uninhabited coastline. Luuuurrrrrvvvveeerrrllllyyy! That night the Germans reeked (is that a word????) their revenge. The bloody third Reich Spider Monkey Brigade returned and pelted my hammock with every missile imaginable. Obviously I do not know this for sure because I was too busy cowering in the hammock and blubbing like a baby. It was as if I had won the battle but when it came to the Penalty shootout................(am I becoming a little obtuse????..........am I using words again I do not know the meaning of?????). I have to tell you though, laying in a hammock, which would not be my choice of "hiding" place, alone, while all hell broke loose around me was a tad unnerving.

Next morning, all was calm, but my hammock could have done with a wash!

I spent the next couple of days trekking, blissfully through jungle and along pristine white empty beaches. I slept in hammocks, evaded German Panzer Divisions and had a great time.

Attempting to return to Taganga, I hopped on a bus to Santa Marta. Unfortunately (a word no blog could do without), I fell asleep, missed my stop, and ended up almost back in Cartagena. I was starting to get a little miffed with Carta..bloody..gena. Eventually I rocked up back in Taganga, 8 hours after I set off on my 20kms bus ride.

At least I had the next leg of the journey to look forward to (the truck had still not arrived at this point, in fact we did not see it again until.......well you will just have to wait and see), a 16 hour bus ride through Carta.......I can not even write that place anymore, en-route to Medellin.

We were to stay at the Black Sheep Hostal in Medellin (which I was sooo looking forward to sending you pics of), but despite confirming our arrival 3 times, including 1 hour before we rocked up, the owner had given our rooms away. We ended up in Hostal Tamarindo in the Zona Rosa area of the City. The Hostel was new, its situation perfect. Zona Rosa is, by far the coolest part of any City we have visited. Loads of uber-trendy bars line the streets around a central square containing glitzy cafe-culture hangouts with al fresco dining and beautiful people. Oh yeah, and it had 2 Cuban/Havana bars. I admit I am starting to search out these places now. The music is sooooo coool!!!

We stayed in Medellin for 2 nights, I did not leave Zona Rosa. Chad returned to the fold on the Friday so we went out at night and partied hard. We ended up in a club playing great music to a crowd of 2 hundred or so kids whose combined age would have barely been greater than mine. We had a great night.

I would have loved to have stayed longer, and we could have done, but we decided instead to join the rest of the group and move on to Cali. We took the overnight bus, on a Saturday night (I must be getting sooo old).

And that is where my story kind of stalls for Colombia...................

We spent 3 days in Calidad House Hostal in Cali, a totally unmemorable Hostal, save for 2 of the ugliest, smelliest dogs I have ever shared a bed with (sorry that should be "house"), in an utterly forgetful town. The travellers "Bible" had it as a 7 days a week party town, I would have loved some of the drugs that guy was on. It made Hutton Rudby look like The Bigg Market.

After 3 days of purgatory we moved on to Popoyan, which made Skutterskelfe look like The Bigg Market. The only positive thing I can say about Popoyan is.............wait a minute...................oh yeah, we found lunch, chicken FOOT soup (complete with real foot, jeez I retch just thinking about it), followed by chicken, rice and re-fried (I guess they did not cook them properly the first time) beans, with a glass of juice for 50p. That's it, everything!!!! We hung around for 3 days!!!

I have not yet mentioned that any weightloss I may have enjoyed so far, is almost certainly due to the fact that 99.9* (that's

percent) of meals, whether it be breakfast (desayuno), lunch (almuerza) or dinner (cena), consists of chicken, rice and beans (sometimes they throw an egg in). A varied diet it is not.

So that was Colombia, I do not want to finish on a negative note. The choice of stopovers was more or less dictated by the bus route we were on so no-one was to blame that some of the towns did not quite excite. The north of the country, all the way down to Medellin was amazing (although I never want to see Cartagena again... not true!!). I understand from people who have been there that Bogota is a pretty amazing place.

The country feels safe, friendly and definitely worth a visit. Although I really enjoyed Central America, I also have a palpable feeling that South America is going to be a huge leap forward in terms of excitement, scenery, culture and great times.

Time will tell I guess.

Take care you crazy kids, speak REAL soon

Paul X