Gourmet Travelers

I've heard of an open kitchen, but really.....
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Gourmet Travelers I

Q: What does it take to get a lazy English backpacker to write an online journal?

A: 250g Whitakers Bittersweet Zestful Dark Orange Chocolate.

So everyone knows how we do. Just two chilled out entertainers spreading the good word. But what’s that I hear you ask? What do you do when not discovering unridden waves in uncharted lands. The Answer, we eat. Karaoke skillz aside, the Vanette holds an experienced chef, and a renowned dishwasher, all that was missing from this dangerous equation was the facilities to create/clean some epic dishes….and the “karaoke kitchen” was born. Along with tall tales of travel, in the culinary spirit I have decided to share with you all recipes to some of the karaoke kitchen’s most renowned dishes, enjoy.

I wonder if they sell Tip Top in Santiago?
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So here I am tucked up in warm suburban Auckland working my way through a slab of the finest antipodean chocolate having already polished off our new next door neighbor’s divine chocolate cake. The radio tells me “mother nature is a grumpy mole” but this hasn’t been the case until two days previous. Until then we had been basking in something of an Indian summer. We had been enjoying a family barbeque in the jet set playground of Mt Maunganui. The rain hit later that evening and we quickly ran to the shelter of our Auckland retreat.

The Bluff, somewhere behind us is the ocean.
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Joa is convulsing as the local radio station spins Eddie Rabbit “I love the rainy night”. Tonight is certainly different, Joa is cooking up a storm (excuse the pun) in the kitchen while I’m bound to the laptop with my processed Ghanaian Cocoa Beans for company and try and formulate some continuity into this story.

Let me take you back to The Bluff, probably the last time we had adverse weather, just the name conjures up images of a grey desolate port, it’s apt. Arriving in Bluff in the late afternoon it was hard to fathom that earlier that day we had been at picturesque Milford Sound and now could just make out the road markings so thick was the fog. Bluff furthest south of Mainland New Zealand and home to colossal freezing works, and conveniently a port from which Frozen Lamb shanks are exported around the world. Of more interest to Digi and I was a place to park for the night where we could escape the incessant boy racers doing doughnuts (When a car with an engine unbefitting of it’s size drives round in circles, rather than the snack preferred by the Corvallis constabulary.)

I know what your thinking, where did he get that V neck?
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Bluff Oysters the natural way

Simply prize open the Oyster taking care not to puncture the flesh of the oyster or your skin. Use your knife to separate the oyster from the shell and devoir. Please do not wash the oyster as this greatly diminishes the flavor.

The next morning we woke and Bluff was equally as uninviting. A cold driving wind, no doubt direct from the Antarctic, at least had the good grace to rid us of the pesky sand flies. Useless fact, Sand Flies cannot fly in winds in excess of 5 km/hour, the same source told us that it is only the female that draws blood and if you tense your skin while a sand fly is sitting down for a meal, it cannot release and will continue to eat until it explodes. Although we don’t have evidence of this it did keep us occupied for an entire afternoon.

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We left Bluff for equally colorful Invercargill, Earlier two Australian Hitchhikers had asked to be dropped in a village in the middle of nowhere rather than spend a night in Invercargill. Invercargill settled in the 1850’s by Celts has a predominantly Scottish Character. I left disappointed not a deep fried Mars Bar or deep fried pizza in sight. Not so much as an Iron Bru.

Shrove Tuesday, Gallettes @ CurioBay

In place of Pancakes we added a provincial French twist to the usual feast to mark the beginning of lent, well actually we had pancakes as well smothered in Nutella. Yummy.

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1 cup Organic Whole meal Flour

1 cup organic soy milk.

1 teaspoon Baking Powder

Probably the best wrapped Camembert in New Zealand.
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3 Bio Organic RNZSPCA approved eggs from grain fed, GMO free” Hens that live in small flocks on lifestyle properties where they are looked after by caring and are free to express their natural behavior.”

Gruyere Cheese Grated into 0.6g shreds, preferably an aged vintage with a mild citrus tint

Smoked streaky Bacon/ Jambon/ Ham

OMG they have my sun ripened california organic muesli.
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For the Gallette: form a batter using the flour, baking powder, milk and eggs. To avoid lumps mix the milk and eggs and then pour onto the dry ingredients. The batter should be thicker than a pancake or crepe batter.

Using a non-stick frying pan melt a knob of butter until it foams. Add a tablespoon of the batter and roll around the pan, as one would for a crepe. Cook on both sides then crack a whole egg into the pan and lightly coddle the egg with a fork, when the egg begins to coagulate sprinkle the gruyere over the egg and allow to melt while still stirring the egg. While the egg is stir very loose add the crispy bacon and fold the gallette in half and move onto a plate. Eat immediately and take great pleasure in the contrasting texture of the crisp bacon, runny egg and melted cheese. Repeat this process and pass out in your Vannette very content and wake up the next morning next to a Cow as you forgot to close the door.

Hokey Pokey, sooooo good
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When at the top of a Mountain above Wanaka we had met a young student who advised us that if we timed it right we could visit Dunedin, New Zealand’s student capital, during the week long binge known as “O”week (Freshers for us Brits.) Dunedin has a particularly colorful reputation for its “O” week celebrations including the ritual burning of sofas.

In preparation for “O” week, whilst exploring Dunedin’s variety of surfing beaches, Joa and I spent the first part of the week building up our livers with rigorous evening training sessions involving our favorite Cabernet Merlot ($5.89 Dunedin Pak n Save). In particular the Otago Peninsula. The Peninsula juts out to the east of the city Harbour and picks up more swell than anywhere else in the south east. To our surprise we arrived at the eastern most beach of the Peninsula to find it deserted. After several hours driving made longer by a detour to a local garage. There was a small swell breaking onto invisible but perfectly formed sandbars producing clean peeling waves with no one else out. We could not get out there quick enough. Spoilt rotten we had the luxury of watching waves, which in most parts of the world surfers would hassle and scramble for, simply roll past knowing we could catch the next one or the one after that.

Digi marinating in the afternoon sun.
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Later that afternoon we where joined at the Beach by a trio of Dunedin student surfers returning from summer holidays in Australia and there native North Island for their first surf back in Dunedin. These guys should be subsidized by the New Zealand tourist board so friendly and hospitable where they. After our surf we all sat around and shared stories of home and travels as well as beers, all this before midday. The boys also filled us in on some local nightspots and some to avoid, and a very hospitable offer of a place to stay should we overexert ourselves during O week.

Tim doing his best Ainsley impression.
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With great anticipation, having tucked the Vanette into bed on a sleepy residential street, Joa and I ventured into the bright lights of Dunedin. Without going into details Dunedin failed to live up to the hype, Suffice to say I do recall going home to the Vannette with a bag of chips enough said.

Dunedin “Fush and Chups deconstructed”

150 g Southern Ocean Blue Cod

50g Potato Soil (The soil taken from around the potato, this is a low carbohydrate alternative to potato.)

Tanins not quite as delicate as the 05, do i detect buttered toast?
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Two lines of Vinegar powder, snorted using today’s newspaper.

Lemon “air” (three sprays of Harwicks Lemon fresh air freshener)

Leaving behind the bright lights of Dunedin we where happy to be back on the road and with the surf having gone massive we where as much running for cover. Making our way on the straight east coast highway dissecting the Canterbury Plains.

A number of Ice Cream stops along the way help break up the journey, New Zealand has surely the yummiest ice cream in Tip Top, Hokey Pokey is deliciously creamy with nuggets of golden Honeycomb. Other highlights are Boysenberry and Orange and Choc Chip. After making ourselves giddy with Ice Cream and Tim Tams. Joa and I pass the time recollecting how a Saturday would be spent at home. Meantime we drive through mid way towns, streets deserted as the entire population are watching the local rugby franchise. We arrive at the Banks Peninsula; the last rays of light silhouette the hills and valleys below. Winding up and down the hillside towards (hope we have at least) our intended destination it’s pitch black and we have come to the end of a dirt road blocked off on three sides by fields of what sound like snoring cattle. External conditions dictate that my plans for a desert degustation are hampered. Instead gourmet mie goreng instant noodles are on the menu. Unsure of where we are and with our plans for dinner on the rocks, find out next week if Joa and I find another paradise beach or if the Noodles take there tole.

It's always offshore in the Vanette.
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Akaroa Banana Pancakes with Boysenberry Jam.

Simply use your left over batter from the Gallette and instead of passing out in your van simply fall asleep in the afternoon sun at 37 degrees for 1 ½ hours. When woken by the laughter of your fellow campers liberally baste your face and upper thighs with after sun lotion.