At home - One week to go

I am leaving for Wroxton College in England exactly one week from today. Am I nervous? You bet. Now that I have everything that I need to bring, all that's left to do is to actually pack everything into my luggage.  Or, at least, let's HOPE I have everything I need.  Yet it's no longer the prospect of packing that I'm worrying about.  Instead, it's everything I'm leaving behind for four months. On the surface, 15 weeks doesn't seem so long.  My piano students and their families were fine with my decision to go, and my family seems OK too.  Pete says he'll miss me, but he's encouraged me all along to do this.  They all know how wonderful and exciting an opportunity this is and what a shame it would be to pass up.  And I suppose I do, too.  But that doesn't mean I'm not terrified that things will be different when I get back. I wasn't really worried until I started reading all these articles - and apparently there are also quite a few books - on the difficulty of returning home after even just a semester in a foreign county.  Any memory of Spain still, after 2 years have passed, makes me feel almost homesick for those 2 weeks I spent there - yet I was still glad to be coming home when it was time to re-pack my bags.  But four months?  Now that's scary.  All the "what ifs?" are flying through my mind - what if I make no friends?, what if I'm TOO homesick?, what if my relationships change as a result of leaving?, (etc).  As much as I want to be excited, and as much as I know I truly am excited deep down - right now all I really am is scared.  I know my family will be fine, but what about Pete?  He's everything to me, and I just want to go to Europe, do my thing, and then come back and have everything the same (or better) between us - and hopefully it will be. And let's hope everything I want to bring fits in my suitcase. The bottom line?  This is something I have to do, or I will regret it for the rest of my life.  I promised myself I'd see the world before my time is up, and here's the next step to accomplishing my goal.

All the "what ifs?" are flying through my mind