Final Thoughts.

see all photos »

I end my travels in exactly one week from today.

May 2nd I will board a plane in Salvador and after many flights, changes in time zones, climates, and long layovers sleeping in various airports, I will land in Rochester on May 4th.  This adventure has been truly amazing and the Brazil portion of my trip, specifically, has taught me more than I ever thought was possible. But I am excited and ready to come home.

How Do I Save the World?

see all photos »

I have been stretched in ways that I have never expected and challenged in areas that I thought I had figured out. I have been changed in ways that I also dont think have revealed themselves to me yet. I have had moments of complete and utter despair, lonliness, fear and helplessness, and then 5 minutes later experienced all the fullfillment, love and joy of a single, solitaray moment. Living in Brazil has opened up my eyes to the world and its injustice, and I have felt an overwhelming desire to volunteer my time and money to a cause when I return. I don´t know if that means trying to find a job working for a non-profit, helping with fundraising for AIDS or World Hunger research or joining the Peace Corps, but I need to find a job that fills my soul. Anything less than that to me now is unacceptable. If anyone has any idea on how to do this, how to break into the non-profit circut with a hands on approach, please email me. I have no idea where to start to get paid for being an idealist.  I welcome all suggestions.

see all photos »

From books that Ive read, things that Ive experienced and talking with friends while trying to solve world issues, the only thing that I have figured out is that I have many more questions than before and I still dont have the answers. Ive become more ambiguous, not picking sides, but trying to be the devils advocate and seek another perspective.

I have lived out of a backpack for seven months. I havent needed anything other than that. I wake up every day and know exactly what Im going to wear. After all, I dont have that many options. I have learned how to eat only rice and eggs for a full week, and though I take 5 showers a day, its not necessary to wash my hair more than once every few. I drink only water and eat at least one icecream a day. I don´t give money to homeless children, it only perpetuates the begging. I buy them a warm meal and then cry instead. I buy gifts and jewery from the local artisans and support street performers, instead of shopping in a mall where I may be supporting child labor from another country. I hope to continue to challenge myself when I go back to the states to only buy something when I truly need it, but to see if I can get it at a good will first.

see all photos »

But, then the other side of me kicks in too. I go to the mall and am disgusted by all the excess that I see. My very next thought though is that I want all of it! I want all that stuff! Its cute and fashionable and oh so not practical and congrunent with my new beliefs...but damn I would look hot in that shirt with those heels and those obnoxious earings. I want it all! I cant wait to go home so I can wear a pair of jeans, use a decent razor, take a hot shower without wearing sandals and with soap that I know will take out my stink, throw out my 5 pairs of underwear that I have worn for 7 months for new ones, and cuddle with my dog and cat in tons of blankets and pillows on my bed...surrounded by all my STUFF!

So yes, part of me has been changed but part of me will always be the same. Only now I have a greater knowledge of the world and its issues, and I feel that I can no longer remain in the bubble that I prided my ignorant bliss on for so long. I must act. I have to. We all have to. At least on some small scale. We all have an obligation to the world, our environment, and its people. We all have to do the little bit that we can to make the world a better place. For me now there is no other way. I just have to figure out the next step.

Brazil has been amazing, but not for the reasons that i had originally thought. This part of my trip was nothing like I expected it to be. Only with time and reflection have I realized its exactly what I needed. I didn´t dance as often as I thought I would, and I didn´t push myself to learn as much of the language as I wanted to. Dance was still wonderful, and I did learn some Pourtugese, (although I am not gramicatally correct AT ALL when i speak), but it was an exceptional journey for all of life lessons I learned and for the reaffirming confidence it brought to my life. I didn´t know that Brazil would touch me as much as it did. But it had an impact. Brazil has pushed me to never stop learning, never stop questioning and never stop travellling.

I have truly been blessed.