Bohol: Alona Beach

...lay directly ahead of me underwater off Balicasag Island at 8 o'clock in the morning. Far too early for such a sight. Was I seeing things? Can a skin diver get nitrogen narcosis? Or is this what happens when you get up at 5.30am to go dolphin watching and end up short-changed thanks to a Korean tourist caught short away from the 'comfort room'? I saw a bubble emerge from his rear. No, no! This wasn't happening. The guy wasn't merely suffering from a case of loose elastic; he was actually about to take a crap in a marine sanctuary. Humans should be protected from this - not just the fish. Vile. Vile. Yeugh! Which is pretty much what I shouted at him above water. Luckily, he promptly pulled up his budgie smugglers and swam off. An underwater flasher. One for the dive logbook perchance. Log book, geddit? Oh well.

To catch up. It was a sad farewell to the Joost on Sunday, who began his epic journey back to reality, looking hot in his new Filipino mall togs and golden snorkeller's calves. He officially handed me over to my new biologically white 'husband', Peter, at Manila airport, and we flew down to Tagbilaran in Bohol, before catching a karaoke cab down to Alona Beach. "Engelbert Humperdinck? You like?" "Oh very much" we chorused. "Turn it up. Do!"

A pair of large Korean buttocks...

Feel free to google-image Alona Beach... it's a low key version of Boracay with fine white sand that hurts your eyes when the sun's up and a two-tone sea of pale aquamarine/navy blue. Peter's organised a dive for tomorrow but I've got a cold of sorts so planning some heavy duty lounging under a baby palm instead. We've arranged our ferry to Siquijor Island on Thursday and can see our Easter destination in the distance. Maybe the herbal healers can sort out my snottiness.

Have just discovered that a bottle of rum here is 55 pesos - about 60p - so I have my alternative cold cure lined up.

R U M? Yes, I am indeed. x

PS Off on our first Filipino ferry tomorrow, to Siquijor Island for Black Saturday and some island magic.