Kenya - joining our tour

All aboard 'shaggy'
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We were pretty excited about joining up with our tour, not just because we would be meeting and spending time with some new people but also because we got to spend the night before we set off in a really nice hotel - the Heron Court, one which cost 3 times more than we normally paid.

Like all of the more costly hotels in Nairobi it's slightly out of town, bordered by high secure fencing and protected by armed guards. For people that then don't venture into the centre of town it's no wonder they get such a strange impression of the city. It looked pretty fantastic from the outside though and the reception was impressive. We were excited!

Looks like meat's back on the menu boys

Entering Tanzania
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As you ventured further and further into the sizeable grounds however, you realised that most of the hotel was undergoing not insubstantial renovation, including the area around our room. To even get into the room we had to squeeze past builders' boarding and then the room itself was a huge disappointment - not a great deal better than the budget Terminal Hotel. Not wanting to get downhearted we decided on a swim in the hotel pool only to find that, yes you guessed it, the pool was undergoing repairs.

Maasai woman
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There were quite a few Mzungus about who we guessed (rightly) would be on our tour but feeling like freshers on their first day, we felt a bit apprehensive about talking to them so opted to spend 5 hours uploading photos onto this flaming blogsite! And after that there was not a lot else for it but to eat some more. And even the food was rubbish. Don't stay at the Heron Court.

We did meet one Danish guy called Mads (silent d you understand) who seemed pretty normal, and who we were pleased wanted to watch the Champions League match that evening.

We were thrown together with the rest of the group the next morning and were pleased to discover there were only 14 of us on the tour. Apparently some groups had as many as 28 and groups that large are meant to be a bit of a nightmare.

Apart from the good news about the numbers we didn't exactly get a good feel for the tour in the first 10 minutes. Our 'courier' (they don't call them guides as they don't really do that much) Leanne thought she'd fill us in on what we'd be up to later that day. It went something like this . . .

"We'll be crossing into Tanzania later today and the border is really hassley. I will deal with all the immigration stuff so you don't have to leave the truck. You can if you want to but you don't have to and it is really, I mean REALLY hassley. I may be gone sometime because I'm probably having to bribe someone. And if you see any of the locals trying to get on the truck then kick them. No really, give them a good kick as they know they're not meant to do it. Oh, and if I say, "Back on the truck" you get back on the truck pretty fast and we're gone. Remember, if I say "back on the truck", you get back on the truck. Fast! Welcome to Africa"

So you've got a whole bus load of people who have just landed; most have never been to Africa before and some have never left Europe and you've got this 'courier' freaking everyone out and doing nothing at all to dispel the myths people have about Africa, and East Africa in particular.

Feeling a little annoyed, and already worried we would pass out from the stench of paranoia we made our way to a campsite out of town. Where we would pick up some people that started the tour 3 weeks ago to go round Uganda. Where we would actually pick up another 12 people. Which would make our group 26 people - aaaarrrrrggggghhhhhh! The good news was that apart from the courier, all the other Mzungus seemed great, although Chris was already calling me Mother Superior due to my advanced comparative age.

Being on an overland truck tour is a pretty strange experience. 'Shaggy', the name of the Absolute Africa truck was a huge yellow beast of a truck, with three great big openings running down each side and airline seats inside. Being so high up, and pretty much open to the world it's a bit like being on a carnival float and you're so conspicuous you attract the same amount of attention. There's no way of blending in one of those things and you are almost constantly subjected to a barrage of either waves from the sweeter onlookers or, sometimes, Vs.  Poor old Mads Silent D was even threatened with a stone thrower when he tried to take a photo of an unwilling subject - not the best person to receive abuse due to his constant neurosis about being attacked by Dane hating Muslims.

You can hear the cries "Looks like meat's back on the menu boys" as you pull up in towns on these trucks and you inevitably get bombarded more than if you get off a local coach or bus. What with the courier stoking up the collective neurosis we couldn't help but worry about the kind of ambassadors that people would make going back to their homes after travelling around on this particular tour.