Island Hopping Ko Kraddan, Ko Ngai

Dear blog forgive us, for it is full 20 days since last we blogged.

We have been sorely tried as in thine wisdom thou hast seen fit to cast us upon mere specs of coral in the middle of the  Andaman sea which are not troubled even by a road let alone thine wonderful wibbly wobbly web.

In fact I can't even find one of 'em in thine miraculous "database of most of the populated regions on the planet".

We set off from Trang with an hours bus trip then get loaded into a longtail boat, again it's a little nerve racking to see all you have in the world being chucked across river from rickety landing stage to rickety boat.... but she makes it OK and as long as the rucksacks are safe I guess I'll survive anyway.

Our boatman has to fuel up before we leave, he needs one hand to hold the two gallon fuel can and the other for the nozzle from the pump, this of course means he has to clamp the fag he is smoking firmly between his teeth.   As the smoke gets into his eyes and nose he starts to cough and ashes fly out from the "oily" in a thin cloud.  It looks as if the lttle dock huts and ramshackle restaurant and bar buildings are all leaning away from him..................waiting for the inevitable explosion.

We're lucky, he swaps a few words with some pals, visits the loo and clambers aboard.  He holds the hatch to the engine open with a foot and needs to direct the fuel from the can into the open nozzle of the engine with both hands, this means the fag he is smoking has to be clamped firmly......etc etc etc.  As the smoke gets into his eyes his aim wavers and fuel sloshes down, hissing on the hot engine.  Kim and I watch bravely from the bottom of the boat where we are lying with arms over our heads.

The boat chugs off down river, the water the colour of strong dark tea until a sharp left turn and we pull out into turquoise, crystal clear, sea.  We drop our two fellow travellers at Ko Mook then belt on for another 40 minutes or so until we ground on a beautiful golden sand beach.  A couple of Thais wade out to meet us and take the ruck sacks, we jump over the side into thigh deep luke warm crystal clear water and wade ashore....welcome to Ko Kraddan.

We're not too happy with the first bungalow offered so Kim gets stuck into "the management" and within 5 minutes they've found us a lovely beach front place with very nice veranda facing onto the sand.  Kraddan is tiny, taking about 10 minutes to walk across.  This is done by jungle track which cuts through the thick forest, there is a single track from side to side (from paradise beach to sunset beach) with a single spur off to South beach.  At the crossway of these is Wally's Paradise Lost Camp.  Wally sailed here from Hawai 8 years ago and Kraddan is so lovely he never wanted to go back.

Wallys' occupies a jungle clearing, has a few huts a number of beautiful ridge back puppies that Kim wants to adopt, and they serve fantastic curries and cold beer at night and amazing bacon Sarnies by day.  In the early evening sun the whole clearing gets filled with huge butterflies the size of small birds they flutter about the place looking just wonderful and the air is full of the sounds of the jungle, insects, frogs, birds, Kim screaming for vodka etc. We stop off while wandering back from sunset beach where we watched a spectacular......go on....guess!

There is no light polution out here to speak of, and once we're away from wallys the night sky is spectacular.  Back at our hut we persch on our little veranda and mix a couple of Vodkas with tonic from the camp shop and a bucket of ice.  I wonder if life gets better than this?  A perfect sky full of jewels, the gentle wash of the ocean, the perfect balmy heat, the circadas in the palms a beautiful wife,....vodka, ok, kill me now.

From our beach you need to swim maybe 20-30 meters depending on the tide to hit fantastic coral.  The ground just drops away leaving a vertical wall of the stuff filled with an amazing light show of tropical fish, it's like dropping into a fish tank.  Clown fish, Parrot fish, angels and giant clams amongst live coral gets you feeling like jack whatisface in next to no time.  We meet a great couple from Canada Joan and Glen as well as John and Margaret from the UK and have a good couple of evenings with them.

Glen is a "Foley Artist" "whats one of them" I hear you cry. Well, in the movies dialogue is king so all microphones on set are dedicated to capturing that.

A foley artist fills in all the back ground sound later so when Mr Bond says

"Hello Miss Largefanny can I play with your chips" In the casino ....

the sound of rolling dice etc in the background is supplied by our mate Glen.

Apart from lunch times when local boats bring snorklers the place otherwise is just about empty but for some pairs of sea eagles that quarter the reef everyday diving into the waves every now and again in spectacular fashion and a pair of beautiful kingfishers that roost and fish from a pine tree outside our bungalow. The ocean has that colour that makes it look as if it's lit from beneath with bright blue and emerald lanterns.

Kim and I trek across the island on every available track, at sunset beach you need to let yourself down (and haul yourself back up) by rope.  The reward is a half mile of deserted sand bounded by steep cliffs overhung with jungle creepers which reach down to the ocean on two sides all backed by thick forests of banana and coconut palms.  The trip to South beach is more difficult, some really steep pathways through encroaching undergrowth gets you to a wonderful long stretch of beach where local fishermen anchor thier longtail boats to the sand. Turn right and skirt a huge rock outcrop and again there is an amazing small beach of whitest sand and clear turquoise sea where we spend a day and only see a family who kayak past mid afternoon, (It may have been the fact that we bared our bottoms at them and waved sharp sticks)

After 4 or 5 days of this hell we move on to Ko Ngai we have to catch a ferry which beaches here every day around midday. Sure enough it rumbles in, the skipper wears a Bob Marley T shirt a jamiaca flag tea cosy hat and reggae music blares out at ear splitting volume.  We wade out into the sea and chuck our bags on.  "We're gonna stop to snorkle on the way is that allright wit you?" he says.  "Sure thing"

Captain reggae pulls up and lets us all fall overboard onto some really spectacular reef where we get to see shoals of huge reef fish which are an amazing bonus to people bought up on the Isle of Wight ferry.  He decides to stop again 20 minute later and pops up on deck to see us "Can transfer you to a longtail if you want"

"ok"

We're budled from ferry to rickety old longtail which again grounds itself on the beach this time at Ko Ngai.  We really lucked out here our accomodation is fantastic.  A very large bamboo and rattan beach bungalow raised up on a hardwood dias and deck complete with sit outs and tables, an open air bathroom (it's ok it has walls and a clear roof to stop stuff falling oput of the trees) with shower that consists of a long horizontal wooden spout which at the flick of a lever starts a solar heated waterfall for your showering pleasure. (and shock for the tree frog that sleeps in it!)  We walk out of our bedroom and off the deck onto the softest whitest sand and all we have before us is a stretch of sand and then the ocean which lulls us to sleep at night.

The beach at Ko Ngai is if anything even more beatiful than Kraddan, same perfect white flour sand, crystal turquoise water but has the additional benefit of being closer than Kraddan to a long formation of limestone karsts that rise sheer from the ocean. These go through amazing colour transformations as the sun sets behind the island turning from white to pink, purple then red as they reflect the sun.

(You couldn't make it up 1)

Every day we have a coupon for "American Breakfast"  Bacon egg sausage Ham etc.  The sausage is the hotdog type that you get in a jar, the Thais cannot cope with the concept of making these warm.  The Ham is ham like what we know and love but the Thais cannot cope with the concept of this being cold, so they soak it in hot water before bringing it to your table... so everyday we ask for just bacon and egg.

Day one we get warm watery ham and cold slimy sausage.

"we wanted bacon" we wail

"Solly...no have"

Day 2

"Have bacon?" we ask

"Have" is the reply

We get warm watery ham and cold slimy sausage.

"and the bacon?"

"Solly no have"

Day 3

"Have bacon?"

"Have"

"Go check"

"No Have"

Day 4

"Have bacon?"

"Have"

"Go check"

"Have"

"HoooooRaH....Bacon and Eggs please"

We get watery ham and Bacon.........raw

"No.... No we cry.... bacon must be cooked"

"Cooked!!!" (Incredulous)

"Yes or we get ill"

Kim goes into an elaborate mime at this point starting with mild stomach cramps, sinking quickly to mild food poisoning, then botulism and the final heart rending decent to disentry which brings spontaneous applause from fellow diners some of whom are moved almost to tears by the performance. Finaly we get one rasher of bacon each .... cooked to perfection (if a little greasy)

" tomorrow I will know" says our waiter very pleased with himself.

"tomorrow we go" we sob.

We've had the opportunity of trying fresh coconut a few times on the trip, usually its' chilled and just wonderful and so different from the dried out things we get at home.  Today behind our hut they're harvesting a few and kim goes out to film them waving about way up in the tree canopy.  So pleased are they with her efforts that we get a couple which they slice the top off with machetes.  Where they've been in the hot morning sun the milk is effervescent, like lemonade, I've never tasted anything like it.

The snorkeling here is even better than at Kraddan and after a hike along the long beach we get into some really deep water and get to watch a pair of Lion fish cruising the reef (I can't describe them you'd need to google Lion fish!) which are really spectacular and poisonous.

(You couldn't make it up 2)

Every day the staff make up our room beautifully, carefully leaving fresh flowers, folding the mosquito nets etc they also spray the room with a lovely air freshener, a kind of orangey smell, really very, very nice.  One day they left the can in the room...........

To Saatch and Saatchi Advertising inc.

Dear sirs

Your ability to sell government by lunatics to the great British public, snow to the Eskimo and sand to the mighty A-rab is legend.  I would therefore like to engage your services.

I have purchased UK rights to a wonderful air freshening product which will, I am sure prove extremely popular.  A mere waft of the product fills the air with the scent of Orange and Lotus blossom which is extremely alluring.

I look forward to hearing your campaign suggestions at your earliest.

The product is known as..................... ARSE!

Yours etc etc

Colonel Blandford Fly

From Ko Ngai we organise a trip to the Emerald Cave.  This is a Limestone Karst, hollow in the center which at low tide you can swim into via a long cave. this requires you to swim in total darkness for a hundred meters or so.  Kim is a little worried by this, I told her you can deal with it by closing you eyes tight for 20 seconds just before you enter the the cave which reduces the effect of the contrast between bright light and darkness and reduce the apparent darkness.

Kim is still panicked by this (I think she thought I said she had to keep her mouth shut for 20 seconds!!) She insists we wear life jackets which don't make progress any easier but our boat man swims in with us with a torch to guide us and to illuminate the rock formations above us.

We get through ok and in the centre is a soft sand beach all totally enclosed by high cliffs with a circle of blue sky way way above.  Long creepers hang down the cliff walls and immensly tall trees struggle up toward the light down through which flutter huge butterflies.  The rumour is Pirates used to haul up here and count their takings etc and you can certainly imagine it....  Until the boatload of screeching Japanese arrive that is.  They seem to need to scream the whole time, they come howling out of the cave, scramble, screeching over each other in a great scrum, every one takes photos of every one screaming with every one else, then back into the cave and they go screaming away........

The swim out is very lovely as the sunlight coming into the cave in front of you (as opposed to behind when you enter) turns the water deepest emerald.

To leave Ko Ngia we have to tramp up the beach and wade out to a speed boat, Seeing beatiful ko ngai disapearing behind us is a little tough I for one have a lump in my throat so stunning has Ko Ngai been, I wonder whether we will ever find such a beautiful place again. This definately goes onto the places to revisit someday list.

It's 40 minutes by very very fast boat to the pier where we get a mini bus back to trang town for urgent supplies (Jack Daniels, Vodka, Wine etc) before heading further South to Ko Li-Peh.  Trang is really rather civilised, turns out they even have a Tescos.  If we rush we can just get stocked up and back to pick up our transfer to Ko Lipeh.  We tuk tuk to tecos it's very civilised, it's clean, the shop PA squawks constantly like a sped up Minnie Mouse but all in all it's pretty civilised really.  We get some nibbles and head to the wine counter, OOH this is very very civilised, they have some nice wine..."we'll have a bottle of that ....and one of those, ...OOOh! they have Jack Daniels on special how civilised, we'll take one of those"  We approach the check out and carefully put our basket on the counter.

"Solly no have" Trills Tracy.

"We think you do" we say.... motioning to our bulging basket.

"Solly No have" repeats Kylie.

We hold up a bottle of wine as proof she bloody well does.

She proudly points to a notice

"Alcohol sales between 11:00 and 14:00 only"

It's now 15 minutes to 11:00 ....our truck leaves at 11:00 and it'll take 10 minutes to get there....

They're nothing but bloody savages!

We get bundled into a Ford pick up truck for an hour and a half then another 1.5 hours spine jarring in another very fast speedboat to get out to Ko Lip-eh in the Turatao National park. There we transfer to a converted trawler then to longtail boat to make the last bit of the trip to the beach.  Wading ashore it's clear that after the last two islands Lipeh is a bit of a let down.  Don't get us wrong if you came here direct for a two week break and you hadn't seen the paradise islands at Kraddan and Ngai you'd be bloody delighted.  The water is if anything even clearer and the sand unbelievably is even softer ....it's like talcum powder (Must consult my superlative register)

Unfortunately, despite this being a protected environment development since the Tsunami has been a little unrtestrained.  Again by European standards it's nothing, there is nothing over single storey and there are no roads but what's been constructed is a bit out of keeping and in contrast to the other islands there are quite lot of people here.  If you tramp across the island you can still get miles of beach to yourself but the place in general has lost its' Thai-ness.  Euro standards are creeping in with topless bathing and Pizza etc.  Shame.

Our accomodation has an OK restaurant although we decide the fish Bar-b-Q staff may need training when we spot them "blowing out" one dish just prior to serving. The most obvious feature however is that virtually all of the staff are what one would refer to as "Lady boys"  Now some lady boys are quite successful at carrying off the whole deal but we have three here that beggar belief.  They look like Arthur Mullard, Bernard Breslaw and Vinnie Jones just prior to entering a "Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz" lookalike competion.  I have formulated a theory that they took part in a moderatly successful bank "heist" and embarked on some identity changing work.  Half way through "freddy the drive" did the dirty and disappeared with the takings, leaving Art, Vin and Bernie to fund the remainder via bar work etc.

Thais, when greeting you effect very graceful gesture, the Wai, which involves raising the hands to the chest as if praying and inclining the head down ward in a short bow; It's extremely graceful, and is accompanied by a lilting "Sawasdi Ka" when imparted by a lady.  However when this comes from a six foot monster with shoulders like a prop forward and two days growth, scowling out from under a pair of plats in a voice like Sid James it loses a little of the magic I can tell you.

From Ko Li-peh we take a magic snorkeling trip, visiting 5-6 reefs off of 3 Islands.  At the first Kim gets a little spooked as we're dropped into very deep water with a strong current and a horde of screaming Japanese who insist on filling the water with bread. There's bloody millions of fish here anyway so why they feel the need to turn it into a kind of Japanese soup with croutons bloody defeats me. Kim needs the help of a bit of rope to get her back to the boat, I tried to use ellaborate sign language to the boat man.... "she is well insured...you will be rewarded...we could maybe help you lose the stubble, raise the voice an octave........."to no avail.

The other stops on the trip are wonderful, the water quality out here is staggering, we swim over reefs 10-15 meters below as if looking through air. The fish out here are just stunning in variety and colour.  Massive stars and sea urchins everywhere.  We spot a large fish that prises a giant clam open which starts a feeding frenzy of multi coloured fish that is just amazing to watch.

Like in Cambodia, at night the beach is lined with idylic restaurants that serve you from bar-b-qs while you sit with your feet in the surf at candle lit tables. You pick your fish/lobster/shrimp/squid,, they weigh it, charge you about a quid cook it and bring it to your table with beautiful very very spicy papaya salads.  A couple of bars nestle amopng the palms where you can recline under the stars on loungers while the staff keep you topped up with icy beers.

We trek across the island, claim our own little bit of paradise beach under some palms and make a picnic of some local wine, bread and cheese.  Dipping into the crystal clear ocean, the temperature of a warm bath.

Back at the resort we meet Chris and his Thai wife (I kid you not) Orange.  Chris says that the only reason he can remember his wifes name in Thai is that he learned how to order Gin and Orange as it's his favourite drink.

Chris drives an underground train in Stokholm, we come to wonder about health and safety there.  Seems everytime they run down a suicide in their tube train the driver is offered counselling, "with the right performance" one can extend the compulsory 2 weeks leave (to cope with the stress) to three weeks! Chris gets about 3 "jumpers" a year, he comes to koh Lipe a lot, he and Orange thinks it's pretty good that Stokholm is one of Europes suicide capitals, it helps keep in touch with the in laws.

It's finally time to stop the beach bumming and we wade out to a longtail for transfer to speed boat and the high speed trip through the glassy water to Pakbara then it's on to Malaysia............