Step One: Dig a Hole in the Sand, Step Two: I Will Leave to Your Imagination

Another thing can be crossed off my list of things to do once in Australia, "The Self Guided Tour Of Fraser Island." After taking an overnight bus from Airlie beach to Rainbow Beach I settled in and started to prepare for the 3 day, 2 night tour of the island. The tour turned out to be unlike anything I have ever done in my life and was definitely one of the more ‘interesting and difficult things’ I have done since getting here.

Wednesday Night

:

-check in and get acquainted with the 10 other people that you are going to be driving the island with for the next 3 days. Try not to strangle the 2 Israelan men that were convinced that the women in our group were not able to drive the 4x4 truck on the island.(Who are these people? What year is it?)

-get an orientation of the do’s and don’ts of the island. For example:

1. Do not feed the Dingo’s. They will kill you and your baby!

2. Always go to the bathroom in pairs and use bug spray......(I may have forgot this rule at some point-not a brilliant idea on my part)

3. Do not swim in the ocean unless you are convinced you can out swim a shark and the undertows

-it became very apparent, very quickly that I was going to have a very difficult next 3 days.... Our group did not click very easily....It may have been the 2 Israelan men that needed to have control(over the group and the women), or the couple making out beside me(they had met 2 weeks ago and were in complete love or should I say lust!), or the German who was an obvious asshole and who desperately was missing his mommy! At least Yvi, was with me, the German girl I met on the Whitsundays... I was trying to prepare myself in advance! Little did I know it was about to get much worse!

Thursday:

-time to go! The truck is loaded. We have all the necessary camping gear we will need for the next three days. Food, alcohol, tents, we have it all....

-a quick demonstration of the working mechanics of the truck. Seems simple enough, even though the gears are on the right. "How difficult can it be?"

-not to uncomfortable really. "Who knew you could fit 11 people in the back of a white 4x4 off road vehicle?" Quite the experience... "Would not be so bad really if the couple next to me would stop making out!"

-take a 7 minute ferry to Fraser island. There are at this point 8 vehicles with 88 people on the ferry. You can pretty much feel the tension on the boat. All we want to do is drive and feel the wind in our faces

-we’re set... It’s time to drive... We free! The beach is on our right, we’re cruising down the beach, the waves are crashing against the shore, we can feel the spray of the ocean on our faces and arms. We can hear the ocean above the sound of the truck. It is one of those moments where you know that you are never going to feel anything like it again!

-our group at this point still does not like each other. You can at times cut the tension with a knife. We pull over and practically have to drag the Israelans out of the front of the vehicle. It is our turn to drive! First Yvi, then Michelle, finally me!

-my turn to drive. Just like home, but in sand! Something very similar to driving in mud. Only a few grinded gears. I am not a lefty, changing gears does not come easily. I hit the side of the ocean! Water sprays the truck, we are covered with salt and sand.

-it’s now night time, time to set up camp. Haven’t really had the experience of setting up a tent in years. Seems simple enough. It takes us awhile but we have the beginnings of a very comfortable sleeping place. The beach is only 100 meters from us all of us are camped together. It is one giant beach party, with music, stars, the ocean, and Dingos roaming the outskirts

-the day has been fun overall. Lots of things we had to bite our tongues over though and a few hardships we had to endure. Here are a few:

1. How much making out can the one couple do! Get over it. We are all in the truck! Do you need to do that in front of all of us? Your tent is only half set up! At least finish putting your tent up and then have sex... Preferably quietly so we don’t need to hear what you are up to!

2.Stefan- We don’t care if your mother doesn’t do it that way. Is she here right now? No...Then shut up and try to do something productive. And NO, I am not going to make you a sandwich, you have two hands do it yourself

3. Gill-he must have the smallest bladder. How many times do you have to stop on the beach to pee? Do you really feel like you have to pull it out every 2 minutes. Have some respect buddy!

4.The drinking our water. We know that you scraped our names off the water bottles and put your names on it. We are not stupid! How pathetic can you get?

5. Everyone thinking that the food fairy is going to make the meals! This is something we have to do together. Me and Michelle are tired of cooking for you and having to do the dishes. We will be smarter tomorrow!

6. The bugs! I have never been bitten so many times! My legs hurt, my feet hurt. I am reacting to the bugs. The swelling is leaving me with bruises

7. A dingo outside my tent. He growled and I could hear him sniffing. Good thing we were in the very safe, impenetrable tent!

8. The sand...It is everywhere. I feel so unclean. It is in my hair, eyes, ears, shorts. I can’t get rid of it!

Saturday:

-still not really working well together, but somehow managing we make the most of it and make our way to ‘Indian Head’- a lookout point on the furthest point of the island.

-by climbing a steep embankment, you get to the tallest point on the island. We are about 200 meters above sea level. The waters are supposed to be filled with sharks and manta rays. All we can see are some really large fish. "I, at least, like to pretend that they are sharks.’"My group looks at me like I am a complete idiot! It’s hot, the sun is getting to me and I am resisting the urge to push Stefan off the ledge. "Lets see what mama has to say about that!"

-next: a swim at ‘Eli Creek’. A creek in the middle of the island that is clear. You can see the bottom of it, the sand and the eels that swim around your ankles. I think I would have rethought this if I knew there were going to be eels. But it is the closest thing we have to a shower. I am trying to make the most of it.

-a mini breakdown later. We are stuck making lunch again. Everyone is off frolicking in the water. Almost break my neck trying to climb on the roof of the truck to get the gear down. Make a wonderful lunch of wraps with a wonderful sand dressing. Camping on the beach is really starting to get difficult! My teeth hurt but at least they will be squeaky clean!

-we finally make it to the last stop of the day! ‘Lake Wably!’ A fresh water lake in the middle of the island. The map says it is only a short 20 minute walk to the base. We get lost and end up walking 40 minutes in the heat in something that resembles the Sahara desert. We are so tired and so thirsty! Gill is drinking my water! We don’t know if we are going to make it. You sink in the sand to your ankles and there are sand hills that you can jump down. It is easy to see why people lose their minds in the desert! Is that an icecream truck over there? No, just Eran and Marie making out! I think I am going to be sick! My head hurts and there is sand in my eyes...

-we finally make it to the lake. You forget instantly the pain of the walk as you dive into the lake and swim across it to the other side. It is about 200 meters wide and 100 meters across. I don’t think I have ever swam in a lake where I have ever left feeling so refreshed.

-the day turned out to be amazing. We finally put our foot down and ended up not having to do anything that night, save resetting up the tent. The highlights:

1.the initial feeling of floating down Eli Creek. I could deal with the eels when I pretended they were like little, black, slimy, puppies. Oh, who am I kidding? They were discusting!

2.jumping into Lake Wably and washing off the days accumulation of sweat, sand and salt. I almost felt clean again

3.the shovel business! Did I mention that we had to dig holes to go to the bathroom in and then recover them? Something about keeping the Dingos at bay and saving the environment. It was real team work. All we did was laugh at how ridiculous this was! We felt really close that day. I think it is comparable to ‘soldiers who went to war together!’

4. Drinking beer at night, on the beach, with the surf crashing around you and nothing but stars and the moon to give you light. Not to mention the impromptu karaoke session on the beach

5. Finding a couple having a threesome on the beach after we dug our "holes" with the shovel. "Oops! We’ll keep moving on. Continue what you were doing"

Sunday:

-after a brief stop at Lake McKenzie, another fresh water lake we headed back onto the ferry and onto rainbow beach. I have never been more relieved. I don’t think we would have lasted another day if we had to spend it together! If there is only one thing this trip teaches me it is that, "YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GET ALONG WITH EVERYONE" You meet to many people everyday to really care....

-was definitely a relief to be back in civilization, but more importantly back to a civilization that includes regular showers and access to antihistamines that will combat the giant bug bites that have infested my body. My legs look like, ‘the elephant man’s’. My toes hurt and are swollen! And the arch on my foot is completely gone.....

No more camping for awhile....

I need to recuperate.....

Until next time......