Meandering down the Mighty Mekong

view to Thailand
see all photos »

So it was a Saturday when we finally made it to the border with Laos, in the Golden Triangle of Thailand, Burma and Laos, until very recently a fervent den of opium production - and since it was a Saturday immigration officials on both sides of the border demanded overtime bribes.

The short trip across the Mekong, here not so mighty, by longtailed boat took us about 5 minutes, but the step back in time was noticable. Gone were the paved roads, the banks and the internet cafes. We were in a land of dirt bikes and chickens. Huay Xai is a sleepy little town notable only as the starting place for the slow-boat down the mekong. Once cargo vessels these are now strictly a money making scheme aimed at tourists, packed like cattle into a smallish boat which take 2 days to cover the 250km to Luang Prabang.

travelling companions
see all photos »

Every guesthouse and restaurant in town was selling tickets for the slow-boat, (we guarantee a seat, and you get a taxi to the jetty) with the prices in thai baht. Since there was no bank, we only had a very sketchy idea of the exchange rate, but it seemed that the prices were a lot more than the ones listed in kip at the border crossing.

In the end we bought a 'ticket' from our guesthouse, a very stressed but nice little lady. Next morning she was getting very stressed, almost everyone in the guesthouse was getting the slow boat, and she was trying to cook breakfast for them all, and organise the tickets. These turned out to be 2 bundles of cash (in lao kip) stapled together. One bundle for each day's leg of the journey. SO not a ticket at all really.

see all photos »

We eventually got in a sangthaw to the jetty with 2 brits and an aussie one of whom we'd met yesterday limping around the 3km from town to the otherside of the border witha  bandaged leg in search of a bank. It turned out he had jumped a barbed wire fence on Christmas eve and the resulting hole in his leg had been bleeding since then (approx 2 weeks). Yet here he was, heading further and further away from decent hospitals and any kind of medical care. Silly boy.

We all payed our cash (  my bundle was 5000 kip short - about 25p) and climbed down the sandy hill to the boats. LIke i said these had once been cargo boats, with hastily added wooden benches, gotta pack those tourists in. SInce the sides of the boat sloped there wasn't a whole lot of leg room - even for someone with as short legs as mine. It took about 2hrs to load the boat, despite being told be there for 8:30am people were still turning up at 11. The boat leaves when full we were told. And it certainly was full. there were some very smug looking germans pointedly ignoring the boatmen's requests to have 2 people to a bench.

rapids
see all photos »

They then filled another boat, with even smugger looking tourists who realised they were actually going to get a seat each, whereas we were squashed in like sardines. A few people jumped ship. The boats pulled out and we set off (racing) down the Mekong.

Now when they say its the slow boat to Luang Prabang they don't lie. There were goats on the river banks travelling faster than we were. But it did give you a chance to soak in the scenery in a way you could never manage on a bus. As soon as someone spotted a fisherman, or some children playing in the river or even a few water buffalo, out came the cameras. I swear there was some kind of camera war going on. These things had lenses the size of big ben. We certainly were no longer in backpacker territory, the average age of the passengers was about 45 and the cameras and other eletronic gadgets showed just how much spare cash people had to throw around. Now this boat took about 7hrs, and the benches we were squashed onto were just bare wood. a couple of planks nailed together. My 23 year old hips were suffering. God knows how the pensioners were coping, but good on them.

see all photos »

Occasionally we were passed by "speedboats" - they look a bit like surfboards with a lawnmower strapped to the back, room for 5 people + bags. The passengers all had lifejackets, helmets and a terrified look upon their faces. These things travel at speed, and with the amount of debris floating in the water they were a disaster waiting to happen.

We spent the night between boat journeys in a tiny town called Pak Beng, Where the sun set beautifully over the Mekong. The locals were quick to catch on to the captive audience of tourists arriving daily, jumping on board before we'd even docked and grabbing people's bags with offers to take them to the guesthouse. Chaos ensued as the only way of getting off the boat was a tiny (gang) plank onto a rocky and sandy cliff. Whilst I manouvered guitar and small bags James fought his way through locals and tourists to get our big bags. In the mean time I was offered several guesthouses and opium. Not your average touts call.

Next day we got a lovely surprise at the boat, it had proper benches, with cushions, and even a couple of sections of seating pulled straight from a vauxhall astra. All those early rising pensioners had nabbed the really comfy car seats, but we had a cushion. I was happy.

This boat also had a "bar" on board, by which i mean a cooler full of beer lao. Quite a lot of people spent the 9hr journey getting pissed on jonny walker and beer lao, a potent conversation. We spent a lot of time giggling at the number of other passengers who are "travel writers and photographers" - yes they too have a blog. I suppose it sounds slightly better than "I'm a bum with no job".

Our arrival in Luang Prabang was marked with the same chaos as in Pak Beng, with locals helping with your bag then demanding several dollars for their efforts. Most of the passengers had got a sort of "chain" together passing bags out from the back cargo area. A few people though decided that their bags were far more important, and whilst getting drunk had been using the cargo bit as their own personal lounge, rubbish bin and ashtray, they had also managed to tip everything upside down in the search for their own bags, and also to smash a door throwing the bags around, before scarpering over the roof of the boat. The captain was  decidedly unimpressed with this and tried to charge James 10000 Baht ( 70Baht = 1Pound). He finally caught up with the real culprit, and we all wandered off into the setting sun to find a guesthouse in Luang Prabang.