The Big Apple

I'm scared!, sat on the coach at 12.40 just left Jemma at the bus station, she was upset that i was going again . Bob gave me a lift, and Rusty and Ali were there as well. Everyone thinks i am crazy,and are worried for me. I am not exactly filled with confidence, I am setting off to cycle across America, from New York to Las Vegas, on my own, unsupported, something i have never done before. I don't know what route i am taking as i haven't seen any maps yet because i had them sent to Anne's address in NYC. I haven't had the chance to do a practice ride with the bike fully loaded, so the first time will be as i wobble and weave my way through the streets of central Manhattan. The bike went into the box nicely but there was not much space for the trailer, my big tote bag is loaded with my panniers, and one of my two 40lter bags.

I had a stressful day yesterday,when nothing seemed to go right, although i have been thinking of doing this for about three weeks, most of that time was spent contacting friends,to seek advice, and trolling through web sites and blogs,to reassure myself that the trip is possible. then waiting for the trailer to arrive, i had bought some panniers, and tried them on a weekend camping trip to Shaftsbury, but did not like the feel of them, so went down the path of towing a trailer, both systems have their pros and cons, with some people swearing by their respective choice.

So i had allowed Friday to swap the forks over on the bike, i was still running the suspension ones from the African trip, but think i wont need them on this ride.

Three hours into the flight, I'm restless, i tried to watch a couple off elms but they don't seem to hold my attention, usually i throughly enjoy all aspects of flying, and don't mind doing it on my own, but then i suppose on those occations i have been looking forward to meeting up with the other folk on the trip, getting to know them, and watching how we all interact together during our adventure. But this time its different, I'm glad that i will have the company of a few friends in New York for a couple of days,but after that, I'm on my own,and that is something that is so unlike me, although i live on my own, and should be used to it, i am doing it within my own space, and therefore am comfortable with it. To be frank I am not very good at making derisions, it is something that still amasses me that i find i am able to get on well with most people but i think it is because when i am traveling with others i am on the whole, happy to just follow what they are doing, it is after all, all new and exciting,and i just sharing the experience with others. As i look up and gaze out of the porthole at the Union Jack painted on the wing tip of this Richard Branson bus,contrasting starkly with the featureless white fluffy expanse below, looking like a white version of a rain forest canopy, thinking with sadness, about Jemma back home,and how upset she was to be wavering goodbye to me again so soon i had a some thoughts about why I'm here,and why i'm contemplating attempting this uncomfortable trip.

It is exactly two months since i flew home from Cape Town, and after spending so long with so many people, i found it hard to "adjust'' for about three weeks, missing them, the conversations, and the lifestyle (although if you had asked me on the trip you might have had a different comment, i was never at my best first thing in the morning when i was cold and tired as i packed away my tent in the dark, yet again), as i am taking this ''carrier break'' it seemed such a waste to not make full use of my time, so i came up with the idea of this trip, i think what i am really doing is to try and recreate the experience of Africa, but know this will not be the case. This will be such a different ride, it is going to push me to the limits mentally, and probably physically as well. There will be times when i will doubt the sanity of the whole thing, times when i will be scared, lost and lonely, prob bely all at once. But i am sure there will also be times when i will be surprised, happy and proud, one TDA rider had a slogan on his shirt ''Pain fades – Pride is Forever'' and i think that just about sums it all up.