The Epic of the Pilzner Urquell

Ah, the Epic Journey to the Plizner Urquell, a tale shrouded in the depths and mysteries of time where what is fact and what is legend can no longer be told.  Tis truly a worthy tail.

Our two pilgrims, Sir Jacob of York, and Lord Justinian of Canturbury awoke at 10:25 AM with a start, realizing they were desperately late for their 11:15 train which would take them on the greatest day trip the world has ever seen.  Legend tells of a fountainhead deep within the Czech countryside from which an eternal froth of golden elixir continually flows.  The holy birthplace of the Lager resides in Pilzner, or so legend says, and richley rewards those who are worthy to pass through its mythic twin arched gate.  Having already crossed burning wastelands and freezing mountain peaks, our two heros were not to be daunted when victory was within their grasps.

And as the trained pulled away, our heroes dashed towards the door, their fingers curled around the handle, and then.....?

And yet their hurry did not cause them to be unchivalrous, as they gallantly escorted two young ladies to the hall of trains, tarrying but a while as tears were shed by the damsels for the sake of their safety.  Taking their leave, Lord Justinian lead the way to acquire entrance to a carriage, but only succeeded doing so at 11:15, just as the train was to leave!  Tempting fate, and relying on fair Lady Fortune to bless such a noble venture, our heroes pressed on.  Finding only unhelpful natives, loathe to give up the sacred treasures of their land to foreigners, at 11:21 Sir Jacob and Lord Justinian rushed up a staircase, only to find their train pulling away.  Still undaunted, they surged towards the train, tore open a door (on the soviet era, poorly secured train car) and dove in moments before the train left the station.  God be praised.

Two hours later we find our heroes tearing through brush to summit a hill, and, from its crest, caught their first glimpse of a portal to another world.  There, bathed in golden light, was the entrance to the birthplace of the nectar of the gods.  With Angels singing as they approaced, our heros entered into a land which they thought could only exist in legend, a veritable Shangrila of Suds.  Yet before any other action, a massive battle of wits ensued on a Chess board of equally epic proportions as their journey, with pawns of beer bottles the size of large children, and Bishops who held not crosses but large steins.  Other pilgrims looked on amazed, and, moments before we were to be allowed in, Lord Justinian vanguished Sir Jacob in a well fought game.

So enough of that.  The Pilzner Urquell brewery invented Lager beer here in 1849 (I think), and have continued to make it ever since right through both world wars.  The tour was the most amazing propaganda machine I have ever seen, especially the movie at the start which basically equated their beer with Ambrosia.  Hillarious.  After a short tour we got to go down 13 meters below the surface of the earth to where the beer matures in enormous oak barrles.  We even got to sample some unfiltered beer from a 6000 liter keg right there beneath Deer antlers.  If there is a hall of men in the world, it must look like Pilzner.  I know almost nothing about beer, but this stuff was excellent.  Then we went outside and jake worked me in Bacchi Ball.  Best day trip ever.  Oh, and did I mention that it was the best beer ever?  I don´t even like beer!  That´s all.  Go to Pilzner.  We went to the 3rd largest synagogue in the world there, but even that´s really not worth mentioning.

The next day Jake and I got up and got on a train to Munich where we went to meet our friends and chill for a couple days.  To be honest, I didn´t get a lot of Czech culture, but I had a great time.  Onward!